Some people mistake those of us with ADD for workaholics... because they can often find us at work until late, coming home late, or even working on evenings and weekends at home in front of their computer/laptop/pile of papers. It's not always workaholism, though... sometimes we can't get motivated on projects until the anxiety level and stress are so high that we can't *avoid* it any longer, and others of us procrastinate and get so distracted that we have to work in the evenings just to keep our heads above water.

So... the poll question is: Do you find yourself working late, working in the evenings, and otherwise working more hours just to keep up, because of your ADD?

Personally, I work from home a lot, over and above the work I do during the work-week. I end up doing my expenses late at night sometimes, and it takes me forever to get them done. I probably spend half a day each weekend just trying to keep up with it all, and often beat myself up because I just don't seem to be very productive when I am actually at my job... I feel like sometimes I get more done at home, although I know it isn't true -- I'm most distractible at home, and can only really motivate myself to complete tasks when there is a firm deadline I'm worried about, or I'm late on a project. :(

So what about the rest of you?

No, not at work, but definitely at school. I'm a nurse, so can't exactly bring my work home with me:) But with school, I always put off until the last minute, then am forced to spend hours or days doing what I "should" have been working on gradually. I guess it gives the illusion of being a workaholic to some, when they see us in that all or none mode.

Wow great question....I'm a busyholic...which like Misclee, gives impression of workaholic, but frankly I'm not....I like to do the things that don't require effort, thought or concentration...FIRST...and sometimes I don't do what the most important tasks first...but in any event schoolwork is tough...and so do end up doing most projects at the last minute...which I should have been working on all quarter....giving impression of workaholic....when I get my first job as dietitian....I hope to move at slow and steady pace...realizing taking work home will not be an option...I can't take patient charts home...so will need to pace myself well...do what I can...

Gosh that sounds just like me....why does the effortful stuff have to be so godforsaken effortful?!?!

Don't they know who we are?????????

;)

For me, I watch others just delve right in...start right in.... doing the so-called effortful work...no problem...they start, they do, they complete...with ME, I make a big deal about it in my HEAD first, how awful it will be, how boring it will be, how much I will HATE it...I actually create a monster in my head about it...so by the time that effortful task comes around to beind done....I have voices in my head which go "YUCK" and so I don't do it....and more voices...and those voices pile up and pile up...and pretty soon that task has been procrastinated SO much....well...i can't believe I'm sharing this...which is WHY I think working in a hospital...fast paced...patients....something I like will be good for me....I can't stand boredom, tedium....I'm on edge a lot....very high strung...relaxing is hard for me...:) Now what was the question??? Oh yes, so I understand late nights getting things done...sometimes I don't start with hardcore studying until 10:00 p.m. motivation is tough...I relate to that Eric.....and motivation only when firm deadlines....like my case study I know will get completely done probably three days before it is due...until then, welll, let it hang, who cares...? WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS!?

I work a lot but not on work things

I drive a big truck so I have very little paperwork

used to be in Quality Control in a Bearing manufacturing plant but I gave up the nightmare for something more relaxing Like getting paid to drive around the province in a Big Truck (GRIN)

But I do work a lot on home projects to keep the body busy and the mind occupied

I never bring work home, because i can't. but, i do put in 60 hrs a week, just to stay busy and earn extra money

joan - I could have written your reply!!! That's exactly how it is with me. AS far as bringing work home - I tend to save it for the weekends, unless it's something really important. I'm usually tired & the thought of grading homework or doing other school paperwork (I'm a fifth grade teacher) does NOT excite me, so I wait until Saturday or Sunday when I'm feeling refreshed to work on it.

Also, I have to literally leave the house to get any work done. Preferably the coffee shop where there are few distractions, and yummy beverages & snacks ;) . This works for me because I only have with me the work I need to get done, and then I am free to leave. If I stay at home - there are WAY too many more interesting distractions to do instead of actual work.

I like easy activities after work. And whoever mentioned it - I don't know how people just "jump in" to a project - it seems like such a foreign idea. (oh - I think that was you, joan :) )

Not only am I a workaholic, but I work all hours of the nite and weekends as well. Not because I'm behind in my work...but because I LIKE to work.

Ironic, isnt it, that I'm actually LOOKING for work now...lol...you would think companies would LOVE someone who loves to work. :rolleyes:

YES, full-fledged workaholic here. and so if youll excuse me i will get back to work now.:D

unreal33,
you have just described my boyfriend (of 7 years), who was diagnosed with ADD a year ago. he's a freelancer and he works *constantly* and has tons of projects going on at the same time. but he's very disorganized and cannot prioritize and misses deadlines and is always totally overwhelmed and stressed out. he says he feels unmotivated and lazy, but to everyone else (including me) it looks like he is always taking on new things and challenging himself and is much more motivated than most people i know (including me).

i'm not sure what my role should be in all of this. he has a prescription for aderol, but will only take it sometimes, usually to stay up all night and work on a project that was due 2 days ago. should i encourage him to take the drugs more regularly? he'll also come hang out with me and tell me about all the work he should be doing and i can tell he's stressing out about it, and not relaxing, so should i encourage him to go work instead of hanging out with me? however, he has told me before that i am a stabilizing force in his life, so perhaps he is there with me because he feels so ungrounded at that moment and needs my more stable environment--and maybe i should just let him do that, without nagging him.

he always falls asleep right where he is, midwork sometimes, which has always frustrated me. this morning i asked him if, since he moved into this own place, he ever decides "now it's time to go to bed." he said that he never does that, because he thinks "bed sleep" is an indication that he's being lazy and not working enough.

we lived together for 3 years, and recently got different apartments. it was just too difficult to share a living space with someone who's lifestyle is so different from mine. but i still love him very much--i am just confused about how best to support him in these work-related situations.

I work late a lot of times because i do not get work done at work. Joan's response is a perfect summary of myself. I always do the easy tasks first. I also like to take it easy when I get home from work. My brain seems to be zapped in the evening.

Annaz,

I can sympathize with you on a lot of levels, I hope you get this reply even though your post is kind of old. (I am new here)

I am in the process of being diagnosed, but am fairly sure that I have ADD. It's affected me in ALL the ways you described - the stress and feelings of laziness, lack of sleep and always wanting to be working. I'm a junior in college right now, but it's been an AWFUL struggle to get here, and last semester I thought I really was going to die. (I took too many classes and had no medication, or anything.) I felt like I had to do work constantly just to keep up, I didn't have time to eat or sleep or go to the store; all I should be doing is studying. On weekends I would totally poop out just becuase I didn't have somthing due the next day... I'd hang out with my boyfriend and his freinds all weekend, but I'd constantly be thinking about the work I had to do, and it really bothered him alot. He sometimes would get mad and tell me that I shouldn't come over if I was just going to be stressed out about what I had left to do... but overall he was very supportive. I always made the excuse that I needed the time off and I needed to do things outside of school - it's just like your boyfriend's need for a "stabilizing force in his life." My boyfreind would often let me come over and get away from it all, but he was always very careful not to tempt me by telling me that a certain show was on tv, or that they were going to play cards or go to the movies or whatever.

Sometimes he wouldn't let me come over at all, which would always upset me even though I knew it was really for the best. Unfortunately, I let my emotions get the better of me in those situations, and stubbornly wouldn't do anythign at all, or come over anyway and cry about how much my hectic life sucked, and that he wasn't supportive. (even though he was.)

Everyone's advice to me was to "slow down and get some relaxing time", to eat healthier and exercise, but I didn't buy it. I just DIDN"T have the TIME!! I had to always be doing work becuase otherwise I was lazy. I would fail. I could do more if I tried harder... those were the days before I learned about the ADD. I finally decided taht I was doing something wrong in my study habits and went to the psychological services for help. that started the whole ADD thing, and I was able to explain so much of what had been going on. I got an accomodation for extended time on my finals at the VERY end of the semester.... I actually did very well with that and was able to pass all my classes. I finally realized that this is somthing I can't make better by working harder... which had been terrible for my self-esteem in the past. I'd worked my butt off for years and it hadn't gotten me far enough, but I was stubborn and continued to try for things beyond what I could handle. That's where the stress all arises from. I finally gave in and took fewer classes this semester, which was a very hard step for me. it puts me behind my freinds and makes me feel pretty inferior that I cna't handle what they can handle.... but in the end I think it's working. I'm no longer a stressed out maniac spazz who doens't sleep or eat and talks so fast you'd think everything was about to end. I'm not on medication yet, but just the lifestyle change was enough to really help.

My advice to you has several parts:

1. encourage your boyfriend to take his adderall regularly becuase that will help him be able to concentrate on the task he is working on. It helps with ALL aspects of life - not just when something is due really soon. the other thing is that if you don't take a medication on a regular schedule, it'll do messed up things to your head. Plus, how will you even know if it's the RIGHT medication? or the right dosage? It's always wise to listen to your doctor (I know a lot of people are stubborn about this, so he may not want to listen to you.) If his dosage is wrong, then he might feel yucky or overstimulated, or any number of other bad things. or maybe it's not even doing enough. definately try to get him to follow the doctor's orders.

2. I think it's great taht you are being supportive of him, and learning about his ADD - everyone needs stabilizing forces in their life and downtime to just be with people they love. But there is definately a need for balance too - I get way more stressed out when I have things LEFT to do than when I have done some of them. On my worst days I have gone a whole day at a time just WORRYING, and not actually doing anything. Sometimes motivation can be incredibly hard, and anxiety can be paralyzing. I think the best way to handle the issue is to accomplish some things during the day (the more the better) and then have the relaxing/stabilizing time. Obviously you aren't in direct control of him, and it is hard for someone to make a change like that even if they WANT to. It takes a lot more than a few tips and hints to become a balanced, highly functioning person (I'm FAR from it!!! lol) - it's a constant battle with yourself to get motivation and to keep up concentration. It's much worse with ADD people, becuase they often have a lot of past failures to make them feel unmotivated. ADDers avoid things which take a lot of concentration - especially if they're not on their meds or haven't had a lot of counseling to help train themselves. I guess I dont' really know the specifics of your boyfriend's situation, so what I said might not really apply... it all depends.

3. It sounds like he is doing to much, which is very often the case with ADDers - they have overactive brains, and go from one task to another more than most people would. I have seen this trend in myself... I start a ton of activities becuase they are all interesting. I always think that I can handle more, becuase there seems to be so much extra time.... I can always shortchange sleep.... right ? ;) If he is taking on too many projects, I would try to encourage him to do less. Remind him that he isn't superhuman - he needs to sleep in his bed or he will get fatigued!! there is a REASON they say we need 8 hrs of sleep a night. I know it sucks. i hate it too - i'm always cutting into that time so I can do more with my day. The truth is, he will be much happier if he doens't try to do the impossible.

4. Girls tend to want to be helpful and nurturing... so you have to be careful in determining when what he says is really true or if it's just an excuse. He probably loves you and wants to see you a lot! So in his head he would rather do that than do work. Don't buy his excuses when you see them. That is not to say that you should never hang out with him... just try not to let it hurt his work.

Relationships take a lot of time and work, and I'm really impressed that you've stuck with it this long with all the problems. If any of my advice applies to you, then I wish you the BEST of luck in trying to use it! It can be really hard to get someone you love to do somthing differently than they are doing it. He might not listen or understand your reasoning. Be patient and loving and I'm sure you will be able to help him get through this! :)

Christiana

christiana,
thank you so much for your response. i really do appreciate that someone understands a bit of what i'm going through. i will definitely take your advice to heart. and i am reading more and more about ADD so i can decipher what about him is ADD-related. it is still hard to tell how to respond to some things. from reading books about ADD, it sounds like there are some RIGHT and WRONG things to day, but they don't tell me exactly what those things are. so i am going to try to be more honest with him in general, which i think will help a lot.

i think he is also becoming more aware of his own ADD traits, and is trying to make up for them when around me (for example, he makes more of an effort to see me during the short times that he's not working, and he's very conscious to ask how my job is going, ask how my friends are, etc., even though i know he's thinking about a million other things).

i still don't know if this will all work out. he may not have enough free time for me to feel like we're actually having a relationship. i need someone who will be there for me when i need them, not just when they have a few spare moments every couple weeks. but the person i really want to be around is him, so i will try for a while longer to see if this can work out.

again, thanks for your help christiana.
annaz

used to be but thankfully I found a twelve step program for that....I am down to one or two days a week now....

I wasn't really sure what to check so I picked I do all my work at work and don't bring any home with me.

I work in a long term care facility. Paperwork must be done at work or it's a violation of the resident's right's. I do however feel guilty when the other shift's are short and find myself called in early or staying over my shift most week's working about 60-72 hours a week. Nice paycheck's but the family suffer's. I have real issue's with saying NO. Once in awhile my husband will make it to the phone before me and tell them I'm sleeping or not home.

I do however bring my emotion's home with me though. I find it increasingly difficult to work in the Alzheimer's unit anymore. We have a couple of new resident's who are borderline and know something is wrong with them and it's frightening and makes them violent. You just can't be mad at someone who doesn't understand that they are behind locked door's for their protection and that your only trying to keep them safe.

You can't take care of someone for X amount of year's and have them die and not take home a little sadness and loss. BUT, also a great sense of relief because the men and women I take care of want to die, their lives are filled with loneliness, degradation and pain. It's just hard to say goodbye especially when it happen's unexpectedly.

One quote was given to me by a resident's family after her passing that I hold dear. "Do not cry because it's over but laugh and smile because it happened." So, true.

I'm self employed and barely working at all now but like Garry, I've always got some project I'm busy with till all hours. I used to work late at the office and really burned out on that. If it's good work, I don't mind it interfering with my home life though. I don't like the idea of separating work and home and am not willing to hold a job I dislike.

I work with autistic kids --very exciting & rewarding work, but crappy pay, tons of paperwork & not much support from co-workers.

I am most productive at work, AFTER everyone has left for the day. Once I stayed at work til 9pm to finish a report. If I had taken it home, I would have been up til 3am trying to work on it and I still wouldn't have gotten it finished. My problem is that I'm not allowed to stay at work past 5pm --they kick my out of the building unless someone else is staying late.

When I am home, I have a very hard time doing work --I have a tough time getting started & staying on-task. I do bring home paperwork, but I am not very successful getting it done at home. At work, there are fewer distractions, plus the added stress/motivator that I'm gonna get kicked out so I better hurry up & finish.

I'm not a workaholic, but I tend to look like one to most of the staff because I stay sooo late at work. But to my supervisors, I appear lazy & unprdouctive because I don't get everything done that needs to be done ...and I'm always late getting stuff done. Then again, there is so much more that I'd like to do for the kids ...maybe I'd be a workaholic if I could only find the time. :D

"I am most productive at work, AFTER everyone has left for the day."

I'm so much like this too! I do my best drafting on Saturdays when no one else is in the office. I'm visually distractive as well as with my hearing. With conversations and everyone going by my work it can be tough.

I am a self dx workaholic. I don't have the type of job that requires me to bring a lot of work home, but when i am at work I do work like mad. I try and work as much as possible and squeeze in as much as possible in to that little amount of time!

Not a workaholic here, that's for sure! I have recently started to work on-call in Probation work. I like it cause I can pretty much work when I want to. It pays decent money so I'm able to do things I enjoy still(luckily have cheap rent)..I have many hobbies..playing sports(golf, b-ball), watching sports, reading, surfing the net, fishing, music(I DJ at home)...life is to short to be working more than 40 hours a week(although I realize some people HAVE to do it, for those people I feel really bad for) I'm also not concerned about money and how much I'm supposed to be making at my age,etc...Even if you enjoy your job, there is so much more to do in life than work for money..I think some people work cause for one, they have to obviously, but a lot do it cause they are bored, and bascially have no hobbies, friends, maybe are single, etc...I'm single and I love it! nobody to take care of except myself......time to go to the (Golf) range...............................