View Full Version : Do you *have* to wear comfortable clothes like sweatpants?


Simfish
03-04-11, 01:40 PM
Because your skin might be oversensitive to uncomfortable clothes, and then this overstimulation might cause you to be distracted?

If so, how do you explain your clothing choices to other people who might be bothered?

tipoo
03-04-11, 01:57 PM
Yeah. And I often wear thinner/lighter jackets in winter because I don't like the feeling of heaveier ones, and I live in the maritimes of Canada. People think I'm nuts, but in my mind I'd rather be cold than put up with uncomfortable clothes :rolleyes:

Trooper Keith
03-04-11, 02:36 PM
Uh, how do you work?

toothpick
03-04-11, 02:56 PM
yeah i got sick of the sweatpants (kind of destroyed them from working) but whats the point in wearing something if its not comfortable. I swear theres not much worse then doing something when extremly distracted with how itchy a pair of pants make your legs or something along those lines especially at work.

Or even worse a belt that isnt the right size on pants that really were depending on it to be. >.< wow its way to easy to complain about this. at least for me on the whole thing i just typed.

Fortune
03-04-11, 02:59 PM
Because your skin might be oversensitive to uncomfortable clothes, and then this overstimulation might cause you to be distracted?

If so, how do you explain your clothing choices to other people who might be bothered?

Yes.

I can tolerate more fabrics than some, but anything with spandex makes me itch. Like, say, most bras. Also, some fabrics are harsher than others and difficult to wear. I'm glad I can tolerate denim, though, because I hate sweat pants.

When I was younger I cut tags out of everything because I felt like I was constantly bitten on the back of my neck. I get this less these days, although I've had some moments.

I dislike tight clothing in general and prefer looser clothing. I even prefer my jeans to be loose.

Sensory issues can be extremely distracting and frustrating. But hey, I also get my hyposensitivity to pain and cold out of this.

maggie403
03-04-11, 03:05 PM
I have issues with some types of clothing bothering me (for example, I have never been able to wear nylons or tights of any kind), but I've found plenty of options other than sweats.

Fortune
03-04-11, 03:33 PM
Given that many ADHDers have sensory issues, I'm surprised discussions like this don't come up more frequently.

Actually, I have an occasional problem (that I am having right this moment):

Many shirts no longer have tags in the back of the collar, but some have these applique-things that are sort of like labels. On a bad day they feel as horrible as tags ever did. Why are clothing designers so cruel?

Flibbertigibbet
03-04-11, 03:42 PM
Depending on the setting I guess I can wear anything from sweats to a corset. I will suffer for fashion or a good photo lol
But I also have certain issues that I can not ignore. Like the seam across the toes on a pr of socks. Even when I was little and my parents would put my shoes and socks on me, if I could feel the seam on the top of my toes I would scream bloody murder till they took them off me and redid them. bloody. murder. lol

Little things will bug me tho.. the tag on a shirt. scritching me over and over. I can handle tight fitting things if Im going out but its when there is just a single area thats being weird ill go bananas.

Fortune
03-04-11, 03:46 PM
The seam across the toes is a torture device and one of the top three reasons I never wear socks anymore.

The other two are: I lose the left sock, I lose the right sock.

Another torture device is underwires. I do not understand how anyone else could wear them.

daveddd
03-04-11, 03:50 PM
hanes is making their shirts tagless now

Flibbertigibbet
03-04-11, 03:54 PM
I got a pr of toesocks as a gift once. they look adorable on. but they drive me INSANE. I can't wear them. So, I snipped the very tips off each toe and turned them into fingerless gloves :)

maggie403
03-04-11, 03:56 PM
The seam across the toes is a torture device and one of the top three reasons I never wear socks anymore.

The other two are: I lose the left sock, I lose the right sock.


I've had to learn to live with toe seams, since the feeling of my feet in shoes without socks is far, far worse for me. I've found a few brands of socks which are a little more expensive but worth it because the toe seam is minimal.

Fortune
03-04-11, 04:11 PM
This is the label that is so annoying right now:

http://img845.imageshack.us/img845/2889/annoyingclothinglabel.jpg

Also, imageshack needlessly changed their interface.

Offle
03-04-11, 04:33 PM
I have trouble wearing any kind of tight shirts. It doesn't matter how soft they are, if they cling to my sides I cannot wear them, my sides are just too sensitive for it. So I usually wear cotton t-shirts that are a size too large or guy t-shirts.

I absolutely cannot wear rough fabrics to bed. I can usually stand them during the day time, but they drive me insane at night. I'll change my pajamas a dozen times until i find something soft enough for the night. Some nights one shirt is fine, but a month later I won't be able to stand the feeling of it. The same goes for sheets and pillow cases. I have to change those all the time.

I also have to have smooth legs all the time. Ill shave every night because even the slightest bit of hair will completely ruin any chance of sleep. I really regret the day I began shaving my legs some times.

I also can't wear shoes that encase my heels. I can't wear tennis shoes, I can't wear heels, no boots, anything like that. All of my shoes are either clogs or flip flops. On the plus side I'm one of the few girls I know whose feet aren't covered in blisters, corns, or whatever else you get from wearing heels.

The seam across the toes is a torture device and one of the top three reasons I never wear socks anymore.

The other two are: I lose the left sock, I lose the right sock.

Another torture device is underwires. I do not understand how anyone else could wear them.

You can buy seamless socks. I do in the winter time. They cost a bit more, but their worth it if you live in colder areas.

The only reason I can wear underwire bras is because my back and chest will start to hurt if I don't get enough support, and that only adds to my pre-existing back problems.

Fortune
03-04-11, 04:40 PM
You can buy seamless socks. I do in the winter time. They cost a bit more, but their worth it if you live in colder areas.

The only reason I can wear underwire bras is because my back and chest will start to hurt if I don't get enough support, and that only adds to my pre-existing back problems.

I live with wireless bras because the wires just cause me too much pain.

As for the socks - I don't really feel the cold, as in I can comfortably stand outside in 20 degrees F and not shiver. The only thing that gets to me is frostbite, which ouch is one of the things that actually cuts through my pain tolerance. Still, socks would be nice for other reasons. Thank you for the tip.

FaithofLeap
03-04-11, 04:42 PM
I try to buy shirts that do not have tags on them. New tags feel like razor blades to my neck. Some higher quality shirts are starting to print the tag info on the inside of the shirt. Some shirts have really smooth tags that do not bother me other than I can not stop playing with them.

Also, there is nothing more comfortable than a t-shirt that has been washed a thousand times. It may look ragged but it is sure comfy.:)

bof00
03-04-11, 04:50 PM
I have seamless socks, and tagless t-shirts that I'll wear under other shirts so the tags don't bother me, and thin really flexible jeans, or thin cloth shorts. I don't like feeling restricted - I can't stand tight sweaters. And I wear loose skater shoes with tons of padding, or light laceless business casual shoes for work. I don't like the look of sweats, but I like having that comfort level.

Offle
03-04-11, 04:56 PM
As for the socks - I don't really feel the cold, as in I can comfortably stand outside in 20 degrees F and not shiver. The only thing that gets to me is frostbite, which ouch is one of the things that actually cuts through my pain tolerance. Still, socks would be nice for other reasons. Thank you for the tip.


Frostbite is the only reason I ever bother with gloves. I have the feeling of gloves and mittens but after getting frost bite last year I vowed to wear them all winter this year.

I don't mind the cold at all either. I actually enjoy it. I keep my bedroom cold at all times. I even sleep with my windows open in winter. Being hot on the other hand makes me feel sick and it turns me into a monster to deal with.

Speaking of which, I can't stand the feeling of sweat on my skin. I hate it. Especially on my face and behind my knees. If I get too sweaty I have to take a shower or my skin will crawl all day.

Offle
03-04-11, 05:00 PM
Also, there is nothing more comfortable than a t-shirt that has been washed a thousand times. It may look ragged but it is sure comfy.:)

Yeah, I love old shirts that have been washed a ton of times. I take a lot of my brother's old t-shirts and wear them. I've done it since I was little so he doesn't mind. He only asks that I wait until he's sick of them.

Sorry for the double post everyone, I don't know how to quote more than one person in a post.

Fortune
03-04-11, 05:29 PM
Frostbite is the only reason I ever bother with gloves. I have the feeling of gloves and mittens but after getting frost bite last year I vowed to wear them all winter this year.

I don't mind the cold at all either. I actually enjoy it. I keep my bedroom cold at all times. I even sleep with my windows open in winter. Being hot on the other hand makes me feel sick and it turns me into a monster to deal with.

Speaking of which, I can't stand the feeling of sweat on my skin. I hate it. Especially on my face and behind my knees. If I get too sweaty I have to take a shower or my skin will crawl all day.

I could have written the second and third paragraphs verbatim.

And yeah, when I remember to buy gloves it's to avoid the frostbite. I don't particularly hate the feel of gloves, or at least I didn't in the past.

Grasshoppaa
03-04-11, 05:29 PM
So if I'm understanding this correctly, you guys are saying that they still make sweatpants? I thought they quit making those sometime in the 90's. I can understand not wanting to wear itchy clothes, but sweatpants shouldn't even be considered as an option.

I'm pretty sure some company makes clothes that solves just about everyone's problems. Except for the loosing socks problem, which I'm not sure how to help you with.......

Fortune
03-04-11, 05:41 PM
They still make sweatpants.

Why shouldn't sweatpants be considered an option? Is there a universal clothing standard somewhere?

Offle
03-04-11, 05:53 PM
So if I'm understanding this correctly, you guys are saying that they still make sweatpants? I thought they quit making those sometime in the 90's. I can understand not wanting to wear itchy clothes, but sweatpants shouldn't even be considered as an option.


Sweatpants are easy, convenient, and comfortable. They are great for someone who doesn't have to look nice and doesn't want to wear nice clothes just to run an errand. I wear sweatpants and pajamas around my house all the time, or to class if I have a really early one. During finals week you'll be hard to press to find someone who is wearing sweatpants or pajamas. Most of us have more important things to worry about than doing laundry or dressing nicely around that time.

Not to mention, a lot of sweat pants actually look really cute. Especailly the newer ones for girls. I have a nice pair of blue ones that I get a lot of compliments on on the rare occasion I wear them out.

fracturedstory
03-04-11, 05:58 PM
It's a little bit more than distracting. Can be anything from itchy to stinging. But I'm not going to constantly be wearing sweatpants. Not only to I easily get overheated in them I find them well...unattractive.

I just try to survive by wearing jeans by wearing ones not too tight, not too loose. I'm fond of track jackets and hoodies. I can no longer wear tight clothes and I'm a girl people are always pressuring me to wear dresses and stockings but that is like spreading bull ants all over my body.

Sometimes I just have to give in to feeling uncomfortable. Like when i do the dishes after my neck feels like something stung it and my hands are all dry and scaly. It's the worst feeling ever.

FaithofLeap
03-04-11, 06:11 PM
A few years ago, I discovered woven elastic belts. They look like web belts but stretch. Any other kind makes me feel claustrophobic. They really help prevent plumbers crack. :o

Trooper Keith
03-04-11, 06:15 PM
They still make sweatpants.

Why shouldn't sweatpants be considered an option? Is there a universal clothing standard somewhere?

No, no standard per se, but there are general fashion rules. If you show up to a job interview in sweatpants, don't expect to get a job, no matter how well the interview goes.

Fortune
03-04-11, 06:43 PM
No, no standard per se, but there are general fashion rules. If you show up to a job interview in sweatpants, don't expect to get a job, no matter how well the interview goes.

Oh, certainly, it's all about dressing appropriately for context, but I wonder why they should all go away.

Looks like a sensory sensitivities among ADHDers isn't really that strange. Who knew?

Lunacie
03-04-11, 06:44 PM
I would wear sweat pants all winter if I could find some with pockets. But I can't so I wear jeans. I buy my jeans at thrift shops so they've already been washed several times and are generally soft and non-scratchy.

I prefer t-shirt type tops, but can't wear high tight necklines, has to be a v-neck or a scoop-neck, otherwise I feel like I'm choking.

I don't like long sleeves, my wrists are apparently extra sensitive, they generally get pushed up around my elbows. And I can't wear sleeveless shirts as the underside of my upper arms feels all chafed.

Sweaters must be soft with no metallic fibers or stuff sewn or applicaed on them.

My underwear must be cotton. No underwires. Just went bra shopping today and it was a waste of time.

I can't wear pointy-toe shoes, mostly wear croc-type shoes. I have about three pair of socks that don't drive me crazy, still looking for more.

My sheets must be all cotton, NO polyester it's just too scratchy. And if the sheet gets wrinkled I have to unmake the bed and remake it so there aren't any wrinkles.

Flibbertigibbet
03-04-11, 06:53 PM
I have one word for you people.

Pajamajeans.

its the latest craze.
google.

Personally I think it depends on where youre going..but ppl are more and more NOT dressing appropriately for the public. This is a bit of a pet peeve for me. Just put regular comfortable clothes on and save sweatpants for the gym or around the house. possibly just to run quick to the grocery store...but seriously, its kinda a matter of self-respect and respect for others who have to look at you. Girls are wearing actual pajamas and slippers to the mall ffs. GET DRESSED! >.<

oh and as far as other things that I can't wear and/or touch... silk. polished silk..ugh just thinking about the way it feels gives me chills.
and wool sweaters. no can do.

Fortune
03-04-11, 07:04 PM
Personally I think it depends on where youre going..but ppl are more and more NOT dressing appropriately for the public. This is a bit of a pet peeve for me. Just put regular comfortable clothes on and save sweatpants for the gym or around the house. possibly just to run quick to the grocery store...but seriously, its kinda a matter of self-respect and respect for others who have to look at you. Girls are wearing actual pajamas and slippers to the mall ffs. GET DRESSED! >.<

I find this sentiment confusing. How much energy do people really invest in worrying about other people to this extent? Like, do y'all really stop and look at what other people are wearing and wish they'd wear something else? I'd just be happy to pretend they don't exist.

daveddd
03-04-11, 07:09 PM
I have one word for you people.

Pajamajeans.

its the latest craze.
google.

Personally I think it depends on where youre going..but ppl are more and more NOT dressing appropriately for the public. This is a bit of a pet peeve for me. Just put regular comfortable clothes on and save sweatpants for the gym or around the house. possibly just to run quick to the grocery store...but seriously, its kinda a matter of self-respect and respect for others who have to look at you. Girls are wearing actual pajamas and slippers to the mall ffs. GET DRESSED! >.<

oh and as far as other things that I can't wear and/or touch... silk. polished silk..ugh just thinking about the way it feels gives me chills.
and wool sweaters. no can do.

i hate wool

Flibbertigibbet
03-04-11, 07:14 PM
i hate wool

yeah...its Baaaaahh-d. :p

Fortune
03-04-11, 07:14 PM
Wool is the devil's lapdog.

Polyester is not my friend.

Polyester/cotton is variable. Can range from wearable to biting/stinging sensations.

Cotton tends to win.

I totally relate to what Lunacie said about necklines and choking.

shadowpower88
03-04-11, 07:16 PM
Wool is the devil's lapdog.

Polyester is not my friend.

Polyester/cotton is variable. Can range from wearable to biting/stinging sensations.

Cotton tends to win.

I totally relate to what Lunacie said about necklines and choking.

Im imagining Lucifer sitting on a chair with "Lambchops" on his lap, singing "This is the song that never ends"

I prefer sweatpants, but i look like a tard in them.

buddy
03-04-11, 08:31 PM
I like sweatpants & they are very comfortable.I tend to wear the same thing all the time.I wear jeans,T-shirt & a flannel shirt over the T-shirt.

insight needed
03-04-11, 09:15 PM
Google "Sensory Comfort" and you wll quickly find a link to a company that makes clothing especially for children and adults who have sensory issues. One trick is that most socks can be turned inside out without it really affecting the look of the sock--but it can make the toe seam a lot less irritating.

Offle
03-04-11, 09:41 PM
Wool is the devil's lapdog.

Polyester is not my friend.

Polyester/cotton is variable. Can range from wearable to biting/stinging sensations.

Cotton tends to win.

I totally relate to what Lunacie said about necklines and choking.

Flannel is a monstrosity unleashed by the welsh, and I shall never forgive them for it.

susannahmia
03-04-11, 10:21 PM
I wear jean's etc in public to fit in / "look acceptable" blah blah, but the minute I arrive home the first thing I do is change into either sweats or PJs, doesn't matter what time of day. :) Hate them but I tolerate them when I have too.

My Pjs, I always buy at least two sizes too big, I like them loose.

I also cant bear for my socks to be rumpled, they have to be pulled right up and they come straight off too when I get home.

+1 on cutting off the tags, I always cut them off.

C8H10N4O2
03-04-11, 10:28 PM
This thread reminded me that I've been meaning to purchase a few more pairs of sweat pants. Yeah, I *have* to wear sweatpants of gym shorts as soon as I get home. I don't out in public, but the first thing I do literally everyday when I'm back in my apartment is change out of the clothes I wore to work/lab/class, and throw on the comfy clothes.

edit: haha, looks like I said the same thing as susannahmia... I got a little side-tracked when I went to respond and left this open for a while I guess. :)

Padme
03-04-11, 10:55 PM
Oh yeah! My son and I both have a need for soft comfy clothing. He wore sweatpants everyday till 3rd grade when kids made fun of him at school. People don't get that its not a preference or ignorance of fashion. I finally gave up the "clown pants" as my hubby called any elastic waist pants I had because I realized I look horrible in them but I have to have soft jeans. I also have rheumatoid arthritis which makes cute shoes impossible at times. Life's too short to wear uncomfortable shoes!

Actually I became a huge fan of What Not To Wear because I've made almost every mistake pointed out on the show. I look way better in my 40's than when I was in my 20's because I take care with my appearance now. I suspect my ADHD had a role in being careless about my appearance when I was in high school but I'm not sure.

Firebird
03-05-11, 06:19 AM
Most things dont bug me but socks... Ugh.

So restricting. Sock's are the first thing off when I get home.

Also T-shirts that are too tight. That REALLY bugs me, especially when its in the armpit area. And wool. Wool is just horrible, dont even need an explanation for wool.

hoolio
03-05-11, 06:52 AM
Personally I think it depends on where youre going..but ppl are more and more NOT dressing appropriately for the public. This is a bit of a pet peeve for me. Just put regular comfortable clothes on and save sweatpants for the gym or around the house. possibly just to run quick to the grocery store...but seriously, its kinda a matter of self-respect and respect for others who have to look at you. Girls are wearing actual pajamas and slippers to the mall ffs. GET DRESSED! >.<

I really don't understand why people are always so concerned with what other people are wearing!

I have a couple pairs of pajama/sweat type pants that I love to wear. They are super comfy and they are pretty much all I wear at home... and yes, I do wear them out! I don't see why I should have to change into something less comfortable (and cause more laundry for me!) just to run to Walmart for a few things just to make total strangers I could care less about happy.

That being said, there are times (weddings, funerals, job interviews etc.) where appropriate dress needs to be worn.

OK, back on topic now. I can't stand anything tight on me (shirts in particular). If it is too clingy or too restrictive it will drive me crazy and make my fidgeting really bad. Socks must be on right or the toe seam will also drive me nuts. Hate tags or wool or anything else that itches me in any way. Also can't stand long sleeves (I will always push them up) or underwire bras! So yep, I tend to dress like a bum in baggy pants and old, worn in t-shirts except when a situation calls for better dress.

Oh, and anything with static will make me loony!

sighduck
03-05-11, 07:17 AM
i used to have the same major issues with tags... but now days it's only once in a while that it's a problem, but, i cannot where any shirts made of anything synthetic... i also dislike the feeling of silk (yes i know... it is very weird)

susannahmia
03-05-11, 11:08 AM
Hate the feeling of silk too. It freaks me out.:o

Lunacie
03-05-11, 12:11 PM
Oh yeah! My son and I both have a need for soft comfy clothing. He wore sweatpants everyday till 3rd grade when kids made fun of him at school. People don't get that its not a preference or ignorance of fashion. I finally gave up the "clown pants" as my hubby called any elastic waist pants I had because I realized I look horrible in them but I have to have soft jeans. I also have rheumatoid arthritis which makes cute shoes impossible at times. Life's too short to wear uncomfortable shoes!

Actually I became a huge fan of What Not To Wear because I've made almost every mistake pointed out on the show. I look way better in my 40's than when I was in my 20's because I take care with my appearance now. I suspect my ADHD had a role in being careless about my appearance when I was in high school but I'm not sure.

My granddaughter is in the 3rd grade and I don't think she'll ever outgrown her sensitivities in clothing. Fortunately they make soft velour pull-on pants for girls in a wide variety of colors. I hope they make them in bigger sizes because they do look nicer than sweatpants, although she has a couple of pair of those she wears to school with nice tops. She still can't manage buttons but has finally learned how to work a zipper (yeah!). Too bad they don't make pull-on jeans with elastic waists for bigger kids like they do for toddlers. Or do they . . . wanders off to do some online research . . .

Flibbertigibbet
03-05-11, 01:02 PM
I really don't understand why people are always so concerned with what other people are wearing!

I have a couple pairs of pajama/sweat type pants that I love to wear. They are super comfy and they are pretty much all I wear at home... and yes, I do wear them out! I don't see why I should have to change into something less comfortable (and cause more laundry for me!) just to run to Walmart for a few things just to make total strangers I could care less about happy.

That being said, there are times (weddings, funerals, job interviews etc.) where appropriate dress needs to be worn.

OK, back on topic now. I can't stand anything tight on me (shirts in particular). If it is too clingy or too restrictive it will drive me crazy and make my fidgeting really bad. Socks must be on right or the toe seam will also drive me nuts. Hate tags or wool or anything else that itches me in any way. Also can't stand long sleeves (I will always push them up) or underwire bras! So yep, I tend to dress like a bum in baggy pants and old, worn in t-shirts except when a situation calls for better dress.

Oh, and anything with static will make me loony!


well, for the same reason there is appropriate clothing for that wedding, funeral, job interview... you're in public...you should not be wearing your underwear or pajamas. Its simply not appropriate. they look like lazy slobs who don't give an F about themselves... or respecting other ppl.

"...just to make total strangers I could care less about happy."

its not about making ppl happy...its about showing respect for yourself and others. This world is so full of ppl who just dont give a rats butt about anyone but themselves and it shows. it seems like such a "little thing" to concern yourself iwth but i think the little things add up to an over all "mood" ppl have towards one another. ppl become more rude towards each other in general. One thing really does lead to another. Most ppl are completely unaware of this.

Flash back to when people actually dressed really really nice just to walk to the market. Gowns and parasols and nice hat and vests... ppl were so polite to one another back then. ppl showed respect for themselves and others in public. If you look at history and see the change in fashion in correlation with how ppl treated each other..youll see what Im talking about. How we present ourselves on the outside is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves on the inside. And others respond to that...subconsciously and consciously. Like it or not..you will be judged by your appearance. Its human nature to assess their surroundings.

imreallyjin
03-05-11, 01:09 PM
when i wear my jeans, i always unzip them or unbotton them, with belt on so that when I sit in class, i can unbuckle the belt and let my stomach relax.

can't study when my stomach/body is tightly bound by clothes... haha

Fortune
03-05-11, 04:34 PM
I continue to not comprehend the distinction that somehow wearing one type of clothing instead of another type of clothing is a display of respect. It seems to me to more be a social restriction and control. How on Earth does wearing pajamas to the mall broadcast any kind of attitude about a person?

People have always been rude to each other, and the times when people dressed "nicely" featured some pretty horrific treatments of entire categories of human beings as well. I don't see a smooth continuum where everyone was kind and courteous then and so many people being rude and inconsiderate now. I guess it may be easy to propose such a decline with careful selection, but I don't buy it as an overall trend.

Firebird
03-05-11, 05:33 PM
I continue to not comprehend the distinction that somehow wearing one type of clothing instead of another type of clothing is a display of respect. It seems to me to more be a social restriction and control. How on Earth does wearing pajamas to the mall broadcast any kind of attitude about a person?

People have always been rude to each other, and the times when people dressed "nicely" featured some pretty horrific treatments of entire categories of human beings as well. I don't see a smooth continuum where everyone was kind and courteous then and so many people being rude and inconsiderate now. I guess it may be easy to propose such a decline with careful selection, but I don't buy it as an overall trend.

Same reason people will honk at beater cars sitting at a green light first over luxury cars sittin for the same amount of time.

It might not make much differance, but dressing up makes you look both more self confident, and like you respect yourself more. People pick up on that whether thy relize it or not.

sighduck
03-05-11, 05:43 PM
My granddaughter is in the 3rd grade and I don't think she'll ever outgrown her sensitivities in clothing. Fortunately they make soft velour pull-on pants for girls in a wide variety of colors. I hope they make them in bigger sizes because they do look nicer than sweatpants, although she has a couple of pair of those she wears to school with nice tops. She still can't manage buttons but has finally learned how to work a zipper (yeah!). Too bad they don't make pull-on jeans with elastic waists for bigger kids like they do for toddlers. Or do they . . . wanders off to do some online research . . .

my parents never got me any form of fancy expensive clothing when i was younger... they knew it was most likely to be lost in a few months or so

Fortune
03-05-11, 05:46 PM
Same reason people will honk at beater cars sitting at a green light first over luxury cars sittin for the same amount of time.

It might not make much differance, but dressing up makes you look both more self confident, and like you respect yourself more. People pick up on that whether thy relize it or not.

This doesn't answer my question, you seem to be restating what Flibbertigibbet said, which is a premise I do not see. I can understand in particular social contexts that clothing signals things - as Keith pointed out you need to dress certain ways at job interviews. You need to dress certain ways for parties,for jobs, and so on.

But I mean, seeing random people at a mall? Why even spend the energy worrying about other people like that? It seems like a waste of time and energy to even care that they exist. They're not at the mall for you but for what they want to get at the mall, just as you are.

Firebird
03-05-11, 05:53 PM
This doesn't answer my question, you seem to be restating what Flibbertigibbet said, which is a premise I do not see. I can understand in particular social contexts that clothing signals things - as Keith pointed out you need to dress certain ways at job interviews. You need to dress certain ways for parties,for jobs, and so on.

But I mean, seeing random people at a mall? Why even spend the energy worrying about other people like that? It seems like a waste of time and energy to even care that they exist. They're not at the mall for you but for what they want to get at the mall, just as you are.

That's true and I totally get that, but how the cashiers, store employees, and any one else you come in contact with MIGHT treat you differantly depending on how you dress. Dressing badly just portrayes no self respect, and people figure that if you have no respect for youself that they shouldn't have respect for you either.

It may not matter or make a significant differance, but it is there.

Fortune
03-05-11, 05:59 PM
That's true and I totally get that, but how the cashiers, store employees, and any one else you come in contact with MIGHT treat you differantly depending on how you dress. Dressing badly just portrayes no self respect, and people figure that if you have no respect for youself that they shouldn't have respect for you either.

It may not matter or make a significant differance, but it is there.

That assertion is nonsensical. Dressing badly could mean you were in a rush, or you can't afford better clothes, or it could mean everything else was in the laundry, or they're comfortable and you like to wear them. It doesn't mean you can tell by looking at someone whether they respect themselves or anyone else.

And even if you do think you have evidence that someone doesn't respect themselves, that's not an excuse to treat other people poorly. This is getting into a kind of loop: The argument is that dressing a particular way signals a lack of respect, and now you're saying this justifies treating people with a lack of respect. How does this make sense? It seems like the problem is not how people dress but how people judge.

Lunacie
03-05-11, 06:00 PM
my parents never got me any form of fancy expensive clothing when i was younger... they knew it was most likely to be lost in a few months or so

We can't afford expensive clothing. I buy most of my clothes at yard sales and thrift shops and that's where I get most of my youngest granddaughter's clothes at as well. I used to shop for the older one the same way, but most kids develop more awareness about their clothing along about 6th grade or middle school and want to have new clothes. Her mom takes her shopping at discount clothing stores for the most part. So far both girls have done very well at not loosing any clothing. And now that she's medicated the older one doesn't leave a different coat or jacket at school every day so she's out of coats by the end of the week. They weren't lost, she knew where they were. They were at school instead of at home. ;)

buggie
03-05-11, 07:27 PM
I don't wear a lot of sweatpants outside of it being really cold and walking to the gym because sweatpants are really heavy!

I'm SUPER picky about sleepwear. Has to be really light weight, and it can't be too baggy so that it gets tangled or bunched. Sometimes I end up sleeping at my parents' house when I'm not planning it, and my mother gets so aggrevated because I can't sleep in her pajamas which are too big, nor can I sleep in an oversized tshirt and underwear because the top is too big and it ends up riding up. So uncomfortable. Have to have the absolute perfect socks too. And sleeves are always an issue for me. I'm aways adjusting my clothing and rarely feel perfectly comfortable and content with it.

fracturedstory
03-05-11, 07:54 PM
I will be the first to admit that I don't like sweatpants because I'm vain and look down on people who do wear said clothes. My sister is worse though. She won't even be nice to these people. With me clothing is what first makes me attract to people and not always in a sexual way. Even if someone is wearing expensive clothes and I don't like it then I probably will take all my effort to try to get past this foible and give them a chance.
I'm a very visual person and usually people wearing sweatpants and other clothes I can tell where in my town they are from and it's a part we avoid like the plague, not because we think we are better but because of the crime rate, where those people came from and probably because there is still an outbreak of the plague there.

I always said I'm not a people person.

Flibbertigibbet
03-05-11, 11:06 PM
Ok 1st let me say I'm not trying to insult anyone here. I don't just formulate opinions arbitrarily. Usually there is a very well thought out or deeper reason behind it. And its not just to look down my nose at someone. So, please don't take offense as it is not my intention.

The most simple way to put it is what is on the inside we will reflect on the outside. Its called self image. What do sweatpants say? Other than "I'm going to the gym" they say "I don't care how I look and I don't care what you think about how I look either." Its a clear indication of how ppl regard themselves and consequently others. (you know the saying how can you love someone else if you cant love yourself? respect is the same way.) And then ppl wonder why no one has any manners or patience w anyone...its a subtle domino effect of "I don't care".

hygiene and clothing selection are functions of one's self image.

I'm c&p just a couple bits here pertaining to my point & the subject of sweats:

http://www.sixwise.com/newsletters/07/03/14/clothes-psychology-what-your-clothing-tells-others-about-who-you-are-and-who-you-want-to-be.htm

There are very few instances where your clothing doesn't matter. This may sound shocking, but it's true. That's because, even in instances where you're the only one who knows what you're wearing, those clothes can affect your mood and how you face the day.

With that in mind, take a look at some of the common clothing personalities out there, and what they say about the wearer.

The Sloppy Dresser: If your clothes are wrinkled, stained, or mismatched, others typically take this to mean that in a figurative sense you are too. Sloppy clothing sends the message that you don't really care … about your appearance, your job, your future or otherwise.

The Athletic Dresser: Athletic dressers wear sweats, running shoes and other workout gear 24/7, whether they're heading to the gym or not. While this may show others that you're athletic and care about your body, be careful. Athletic dressers can easily be mistaken for sloppy dressers, particularly when sweats are involved.

then there are 2 images in the article:
http://www.sixwise.com/images/articles/2007/03/14/33269296.jpg
A smart business suit exudes confidence and success. (Consider how differently you'd perceive this woman if she were dressed in a sloppy sweat suit.)

http://www.sixwise.com/images/articles/2007/03/14/30756022.jpg
Looking to impress your new in-laws? An overly sloppy outfit can tell them that you don't care.


if you think these messages don't carry over into the mall or the market or any other public place, you're mistaken.
Even if someone isnt consciously noticing the subconscious messages are still being picked up and influencing ppl. and it sets an example to the community of "why should anyone care if she/he doesn't"
So lets say young girls in the mall are wearing their pajamas and slippers or sweats.. this is going to effect how they are seen and treated and continue to support a low-self-image.

Ok this question is for the ladies here. (guys I don't mean to exclude you. If the question relates to you by all means please speak up ;) ) What panties do you wear when you have a date? What panties do you wear when youre feeling ill or have yer [.] ? What kind do you wear for every day? (this is not necessary to answer literally...ask yourselves quietly so we dont get the boys in a tizzy. lol) Do you feel more confidant or sexy when you wear the special pretty underwear? Why would it effect how you feel if youre the only one (supposedly) that can see them? Because its a reflection of how you feel or want to feel and thus effects or reflects your self image. Thats why. Now broaden the view to include the clothes ppl DO see you in. If they effect you..then they effect others too. as in how they view you I mean. And it starts to set a precident. This is why there are dress codes in places. It effects the psychology of the entire establishment.




We Are All Innate Psychologists
The first thing we need to understand, in terms of human psychology, is that we are all innate Psychologists.

Generally speaking, we find it easy to analyse human behaviour because we have subconscious and conscious ability in deciphering what people really mean.

People communicate this with subtle social ques, such as:

Verbalising (speaking how we feel - our needs, our wants, our fears and our joys).

Non-verbal communication (our body language, how we express ourselves, facial expressions, even the subtle hesitancy's and silences in our speech).

Physical representation (how we present ourselves - the way we dress, the way we feel will show itself in skin tone - for example anger and illness will present itself in redness, beads of sweat and/or paleness)



I don't think it matters how much $ you have or where you buy your clothes so much as it matters that you just get dressed appropriately. I have gotten most of my clothing from thrift stores. I grew up super poor too. We got clothing from church donations and hand-me-downs from my mothers friends kids. You do with what is within your means of course and go with whatever style suits you. I'm not even suggesting that anyone dress "normal" or follow the latest fashion trends or not express your individuality in your own unique way. But if you're wearing sweats everywhere, like it or not, this does reflect on your self-image. And everyone does this when seeing how people dress. Everyone. Sometimes consciously but more often subconsciously.

Certain clothing is designed for specific functions. You don't wear a wedding dress to a trip to McDonalds or a wet-suit in the office or a bikini to the market. Pajamas are for sleeping. Gym clothes/sweats are for working out and collecting your sweat. They're made of warm, breathable material designed to absorb your sweat as you work out and it also helps you lose weight and gives you unrestricted movement for your running or workout. Its the closest thing to being naked while still protecting you from the elements and collecting your sweat. Its a giant towel.
If you're wearing it to the mall or a restarant clearly you're not going to the gym. So its going to be presumed you just don't care how you look. Which if you don't care you don't care...thats your choice. But if you're 1st reaction is to feel defensive about the idea of someone else caring/being bothered by how youre dressed or having the opinion that it sends the message of not having respect for yourself or others then I suspect you do care at least a little. And its only natural that you may not have even considered it or cared because you're not actually in others pps heads to hear these things out loud. Plus more and more people are just NOT CARING how they present themselves so like I said earlier...it spreads cuz it effects everyone on a subconscious level and thus influences the Collective Consciousness.

When I'm kicking around the house in sweats and then realize I have to run to the store or go pay my bills or something I go get dressed into regular clothes. I can still be comfortable while being presentable to the public. I wear jeans that are stretchy sometimes. They're almost just as comfortable as sweats even. But they're decent for going out in.

ok, bit of a tangent here. I was curious about the word 'decent' just now after I wrote it and I think its the perfect word for this subject. (The tangent connects I swear.. I'm very into words and what we choose to use and breaking them down to illustrate what it is we are actually saying to one another. most ppl use words w/o considering what they really mean or the message its giving...much like the clothing we wear.)

Etymology
From Middle French décent, or its source, Latin decēns, present participle of decet (“it is fitting or suitable”), from Proto-Indo-European *deke-, from base *dek- (“to take, accept, to receive, greet, be suitable”) (compare Ancient Greek δοκεῖν (dokein, “to appear, seem, think”), δέχεσθαι (dekhesthai, “to accept”); Sanskrit dacasyati (“shows honor, is gracious”), dacati (“makes offerings, bestows”)). Meaning kind, pleasant is from 1902.

Appropriate; suitable for the circumstances.
Sufficiently clothed or dressed to be seen.
Having a suitable conformity to basic moral standards; showing integrity, fairness, or other characteristics associated with moral uprightness.

Not in reference to some "moral code" like youre a bad person if you wear white after labor day.
But as how we "present" ourself being mindful of how others "receive us". And having that much consideration for yourself and how others perceive you reflects respect. And I think this is where it gets tricky for ppl and where the confusion lies because the knee-jerk reaction is to be like "who are you to judge me or care wtf I wear? I'll wear whatever I want to wear!" thinking its an attack on their freedom or indivduality or some stuffy notion of what is and whats not fashionable. Of course people don't want to get caught up in caring what other ppl think so much that they stop being themselves and dress to please others or to conform while suppressing their own personality and individuality. Thats not what Im suggesting at all.

What I'm suggesting/asserting is, how you dress reflects your self-image and the amt of respect you have for yourself and others. If you're wearing something that says "I don't care"....thats the message you're giving to ppl... about yourself and them. If you portray yourself as someone who doesn't care then no one will care about you that much either. Not just at the mall. But you never know. You can meet people anywhere. What kind of people do you want to attract? Ppl who don't care or ppl who care?
I think if more people took the time to be aware of and care about their self image and how they presented themselves to others they would notice a significant increase in their happiness over all. Not "worry"... CARE.
I don't think some ppl realize how much they push away the things they want because of the self-image they put out there to others.

Gosh, this is getting long eh? lol
Yanno I had NO IDEA I had so much to say on the subject of freakin sweatsuits until this thread haha
I don't spend energy worrying about how ppl dress. But it gets noticed and I personally find it disappointing. Hence the pet peeve. (perhaps I was being too glib with this comment which led to the misunderstanding) And now we all know..in GREAT DETAIL..why lol

SORRY FOR THE NOVELLA :)

metzfanaz
03-05-11, 11:12 PM
Thanks for the linky flibber, I be:


The Casual Dresser: This is the guy or gal who never puts on anything but jeans and a t-shirt. Fine for a weekend at home, but over time this look can make you appear one-sided or lacking a creative flair or dimension.


I find this comfortable. Hate sweatpants and not a big fan of anything like gym shorts or sweatshorts as regular clothing. It's ok if your going to work out or sick with a cold/flu but I will stick with jeans a t-shirt these days. On a good day, cargo pants and a button up. :)

Flibbertigibbet
03-05-11, 11:22 PM
metzfanaz~

I love cargo pants/shorts. SO MANY POCKETS to put things in! :D
Its like wearing a purse for me. lol

FaithofLeap
03-05-11, 11:29 PM
I am suprised that nobody has mentioned pajama jeans. I wish that they made a mens version. I found the website for them. Warning the website has pop-ups and is infomercerally (new word:o). pajamajeans.com

Flibbertigibbet
03-05-11, 11:41 PM
I am suprised that nobody has mentioned pajama jeans. I wish that they made a mens version. I found the website for them. Warning the website has pop-ups and is infomercerally (new word:o). pajamajeans.com

I did, silly. near the beginning of the thread..or somewhere. lol

Flibbertigibbet
03-05-11, 11:42 PM
I have one word for you people.

Pajamajeans.

its the latest craze.
google.

Personally I think it depends on where youre going..but ppl are more and more NOT dressing appropriately for the public. This is a bit of a pet peeve for me. Just put regular comfortable clothes on and save sweatpants for the gym or around the house. possibly just to run quick to the grocery store...but seriously, its kinda a matter of self-respect and respect for others who have to look at you. Girls are wearing actual pajamas and slippers to the mall ffs. GET DRESSED! >.<

oh and as far as other things that I can't wear and/or touch... silk. polished silk..ugh just thinking about the way it feels gives me chills.
and wool sweaters. no can do.

^^ there it is! :D

FaithofLeap
03-05-11, 11:43 PM
I did, silly. near the beginning of the thread..or somewhere. lol

Darn it, and I tried to go back and read every post. It's evening, I am at work and my Concerta wore of a few hours ago. That's my excuse:o

FaithofLeap
03-05-11, 11:44 PM
^^ there it is! :D

You just sparked my memory. :)

Offle
03-05-11, 11:57 PM
We can't afford expensive clothing. I buy most of my clothes at yard sales and thrift shops and that's where I get most of my youngest granddaughter's clothes at as well. I used to shop for the older one the same way, but most kids develop more awareness about their clothing along about 6th grade or middle school and want to have new clothes. Her mom takes her shopping at discount clothing stores for the most part. So far both girls have done very well at not loosing any clothing. And now that she's medicated the older one doesn't leave a different coat or jacket at school every day so she's out of coats by the end of the week. They weren't lost, she knew where they were. They were at school instead of at home. ;)

I was like that with coats, jackets, sweat shirts, gloves, socks, gym clothes, at one point my classroom's coat closet had more of my clothing in it than my actual closet at home. My teacher eventually took to personally making sure I put on or took home whatever pieces of clothing I brought to school.

I also never developed my own awareness about clothes. I still take my brother's old t-shirts after he's finished wearing them. The same thing magically happens with old boyfriends' shirts and sweat shirts after we break up, if they don't ask for it back I'm keeping it. It drives my mom nuts, but it's economic and she's given up all hope of me out growing my love for his shirts. She has found ways to slip more feminine, but still reasonably priced, shirts into my wardrobe, like Boyfriend/pocket tees from Target. They come in a lot of pretty colours, they're really soft and light, and they aren't clingy like a lot of girl shirts are. Plus I look really nice in them :D

Fortune
03-06-11, 12:04 AM
Ok 1st let me say I'm not trying to insult anyone here. I don't just formulate opinions arbitrarily. Usually there is a very well thought out or deeper reason behind it. And its not just to look down my nose at someone. So, please don't take offense as it is not my intention.

I wasn't taking offense. I honestly find this perspective confusing. You've put a lot of work into justifying what amounts to a fundamental attribution error - the idea that you can actually judge what a person is like from the clothing you see them wearing? This makes no sense, no matter how much justification, rationalization, or elaboration one goes into, it keeps coming back to the idea that somehow one can detect a person's mental state from the clothing they choose to wear.

But if you're 1st reaction is to feel defensive about the idea of someone else caring/being bothered by how youre dressed or having the opinion that it sends the message of not having respect for yourself or others then I suspect you do care at least a little.I'm not feeling defensive. I don't even wear sweats or pajama bottoms. I usually wear jeans and shirts. Your point of view makes no sense to me.

You keep saying that clothing reflects self-image as if it is axiomatic, and I do not believe this is true. I certainly believe it can reflect self-image, but it also may not reflect it at all. It seems like a huge assumption to not just make, but base the idea that it's evidence of how everyone is becoming less civil to each other. This was another thing that makes no sense - there is no such thing as a "good old days" and there never was a time when everyone dressed more nicely. If you select one segment of the population, perhaps, but in those same times there were tons of issues that impacted large groups of people in very negative ways that makes any kind of pining for such "kinder" days moderately disturbing.

Not in reference to some "moral code" like youre a bad person if you wear white after labor day.
But as how we "present" ourself being mindful of how others "receive us". And having that much consideration for yourself and how others perceive you reflects respect. And I think this is where it gets tricky for ppl and where the confusion lies because the knee-jerk reaction is to be like "who are you to judge me or care wtf I wear? I'll wear whatever I want to wear!" thinking its an attack on their freedom or indivduality or some stuffy notion of what is and whats not fashionable. Of course people don't want to get caught up in caring what other ppl think so much that they stop being themselves and dress to please others or to conform while suppressing their own personality and individuality. Thats not what Im suggesting at all. My reaction was not a knee jerk reaction. It is confusion, but that is not where the confusion lies. The confusion is that you keep assuming certain things are automatically true and failing to explain how they are true. You have repeated several times that what you wear reflects your self-image, but this is pretty easy to demonstrate as false. You have said it reflects a lack of respect, but this too is easy to demonstrate as false. In some contexts it may be true, and I have already agreed with that. But I do not believe it has anything to do with every context.

What I'm suggesting/asserting is, how you dress reflects your self-image and the amt of respect you have for yourself and others. If you're wearing something that says "I don't care"....thats the message you're giving to ppl... about yourself and them. If you portray yourself as someone who doesn't care then no one will care about you that much either. Not just at the mall. But you never know. You can meet people anywhere. What kind of people do you want to attract? Ppl who don't care or ppl who care?
I think if more people took the time to be aware of and care about their self image and how they presented themselves to others they would notice a significant increase in their happiness over all. Not "worry"... CARE.
I don't think some ppl realize how much they push away the things they want because of the self-image they put out there to others.
Okay, so there's a problem here: You keep asserting that what you wear reflects your attitude and respect and so on, but this is not actually established. Without even remotely establishing this in a way that makes sense, the rest of your argument has no meaning. If you can't explain the whys of this, then writing ten novellas won't matter, it still won't make any sense.

When I'm in public I don't care about other people, I would really rather not talk to other people, and in fact I would be perfectly happy if people pretended I didn't exist unless there's a reason to interact (say, I want to buy something or need to find something). This isn't a matter of my self-image or my self-respect, I am simply not all that tied into what other people think, care about, or want. I am not dressing to apply for a job or attend a party or go to work or visit someone or sell a house or marry anyone. I'm simply going out to buy something I want or need.

When I am someplace with a different purpose I try to dress and behave appropriately for that place. I would not be on this forum if I didn't care to communicate with other people about ADHD, but even that doesn't reflect anything about my mindset other than the probability that I have ADHD and I would like to discuss matters we have in common. And I try to adhere to the rules in this forum as closely as possible, because that is the social context for our interactions - there are clearly defined rules in addition to standard courtesy.

But again, the context of my disagreement is how people dress at a mall, not in structured social occasions or overdressing for a particular occasion. A mall isn't an occasion, and what other people are doing in a mall have nothing to do with you. Why take it personally?

I do not see how a mall has clearly defined dress codes or requires people to adhere to someone else's ideas of courtesy, both of which you have seemed to argue and neither of which makes the least amount of sense to me.

I would be grateful if you didn't assign emotions or motivations to my words - I try to say what I mean. I admit that I do not always succeed, but I find it strange that you'd assume that my reactions are "defensive" and "knee-jerk," when I have not done you the discourtesy of trying to tell you which emotions you're experiencing while you write your posts.

So here's my question:

What makes you think that looking at someone enables you to actually, realistically, determine what they are thinking and how they view themselves? How can you know such a thing?

Without an answer to that, I just don't see how the way anyone dresses in a mall has any bearing on any of the things you've said here. It all seems random and contradictory.

Flibbertigibbet
03-06-11, 12:26 AM
before I even finish reading your post Fortune...you seem to think the whole thing was directed completely AT YOU.. it wasnt. only the last bit did I directly quisi respond to you specifically regarding the why waste energy caring what other ppl are wearing or whatever part.

The whole post was a general response to anyone on the subject and explaining how I see things and offered supporting opinions. I didnt just pull these thoughts out of my butt. Its a supported idea.

ok back to reading..

metzfanaz
03-06-11, 12:31 AM
metzfanaz~

I love cargo pants/shorts. SO MANY POCKETS to put things in! :D
Its like wearing a purse for me. lol

I like it because I can bring my usual stuff (keys, cell phone and wallet) with extra pockets for the camera, just in case I find something to shoot and some extra batteries. Plus it looks nicer sometimes, especially breaking out the camo with a dr pepper shirt. :)

Lunacie
03-06-11, 12:32 AM
The other night my daughter went to the Y to work out, then stopped at the store on the way home to buy dog food. Was she really supposed to wear her sweats to work out in and take along some "nice" clothes to change into so she could spend 10 minutes dashing into the store? :confused:


I see teens wearing pajama bottoms with tees and slippers and I take it for a fashion thing. I see adults wearing something similar and I generally think they're trying too hard to look younger than they are. But I don't think it's sloppy or lazy.

I really don't mind seeing people wearing sweat pants or croc shoes or even jeans with so many holes you can see their underwear. I don't usually notice stains and wouldn't judge anyone by them because I've lived my whole life in stained clothing. I have ADHD and possibly Autsim and I'm clumsy as hell and I'm always dripping or spilling or splattering something on my clothes. Very frustrating to wear a brand new shirt (even if I bought it secondhand) and drip something on it the very first time and ruin it with a stain. If I threw everything away when it got a stain on it I'd have to stay home because I wouldn't have any clothes. I hate wearing clothes with stains but I just have to deal with it.

If other people judge me by what I'm wearing, or whether my hair is windblown and the roots are showing, well they're probably not the kind of people I spend much time with anyway, so what the heck.

Like I said, I wear well-worn comfortable jeans and t-shirt tops that are loose and baggy and comfortable, and I wear crocs a lot. But other people like to wear other things. There is no universal dress code.


edited to add: the one thing that really bugs me is when people wear their pants so low you see butt cleavage. That's just gross.

metzfanaz
03-06-11, 12:37 AM
I see teens wearing pajama bottoms with tees and slippers and I take it for a fashion thing. I see adults wearing something similar and I generally think they're trying too hard to look younger than they are. But I don't think it's sloppy or lazy.


I noticed that too and here a lot of teens are wearing oversized sweatpants also to stores. I just figured that was the fashion of the day. Having grown up in the 80's and what we wore then I can't say anything against what kids today are wearing.

Offle
03-06-11, 12:49 AM
I noticed that too and here a lot of teens are wearing oversized sweatpants also to stores. I just figured that was the fashion of the day. Having grown up in the 80's and what we wore then I can't say anything against what kids today are wearing.

It's less the fashion of the day and just sheer laziness and not caring. Most of the time those teens literally just rolled out of bed, put on some deodorant, and went to the store or to class or where ever. It's very common to see almost everyone dressed like that around my campus during finals week, midterms, and sundays. Although on Sundays it's usually accompanied by a hoodie and sunglasses, changing it from the "I just rolled out of bed" look into the "I really wish I didn't drink so much last night" look.

Personally I don't wear pajamas out and about. I feel like it takes away from the magic of changing into them when I get back home. It's silly, but changing into my pajamas is one of the best parts of my day, and wearing them around town takes away from that a lot.

Fortune
03-06-11, 12:59 AM
It's less the fashion of the day and just sheer laziness and not caring.

How can you possibly know this?

Flibbertigibbet
03-06-11, 01:03 AM
I would be grateful if you didn't assign emotions or motivations to my words

I didn't.
"If you feel..." was not addressed TO YOU. it was "you" as in ...anyone who happened to feel defensive while reading anything I said.


I do not see how a mall has clearly defined dress codes

I never said it did. I used dress codes in some places to give an example of how you are expected to dress effects the whole establishment. The same goes for places w/o dress codes... how everyone dresses effects the atmosphere etc..

a mall is a public place. not a gym. not your living room. There doesn't need to be an "occasion" to dress decently/appropriately/like you care about your appearance. If you read some others who posted they too would not wear sweats in public. Its for home or the gym. No ones going to go to hell or Jail for wearing them in public and it doesnt make anyone a bad person. It just doesn't come off to me (and many others) IN GENERAL that the person has as much respect as someone who took the extra 5 seconds to switch pants.


So here's my question:

What makes you think that looking at someone enables you to actually, realistically, determine what they are thinking and how they view themselves? How can you know such a thing?

I actually never claimed to know what anyone was thinking. Simply that it reflects a lack of respect to me. Its inappropriate and slobbish and says you dont care. I get it..YOU DONT CARE. I'm saying, ppl should care more. Thats how I feel. I explained the minutia of why I feel that way. I THOROUGHLY explained my reasoning. I gave, albeit minor, supporting opinions/examples from another site. You are welcome to disagree. But I'm not going over everything I already said any more than that.

Did you actually read what I wrote? Or did you just skim and start typing away?
Perhaps take your time to read it slower and w/o the notion its directed AT YOU and maybe you'll understand my reasoning better. Ironically, for someone not defensive you sure sound defensive and this seems like a "knee-jerk" response to me simply elaborating on my opinion and what I meant by "pet peeve". Actually, if I was intending to respond to anyone even indirectly it was probably hoolio but again...my response was intended to be GENERAL opinion. Not directed AT ANYONE. ok?

I thought I was purposely careful to preface the whole thing so I could avoid having my opinions taken personally or offensively. This kind of response to what I said is precisely what I was trying to avoid.

Fortune
03-06-11, 01:21 AM
a mall is a public place. not a gym. not your living room. There doesn't need to be an "occasion" to dress decently/appropriately/like you care about your appearance. If you read some others who posted they too would not wear sweats in public. Its for home or the gym. No ones going to go to hell or Jail for wearing them in public and it doesnt make anyone a bad person. It just doesn't come off to me (and many others) IN GENERAL that the person has as much respect as someone who took the extra 5 seconds to switch pants.

Why does this nebulous "respect" matter to you? Why do you keep emphasizing it? What does it mean? How can you tell whether someone has any respect or not on the basis of their clothing in a mall? What sixth sense enables you to determine this thing? And if you know you're not actually reading their true intentions but making assumptions based on superficial trappings, why do you do it?

I actually never claimed to know what anyone was thinking. Simply that it reflects a lack of respect to me. Its inappropriate and slobbish and says you dont care. I get it..YOU DONT CARE. I'm saying, ppl should care more. Thats how I feel. I explained the minutia of why I feel that way. I THOROUGHLY explained my reasoning. I gave, albeit minor, supporting opinions/examples from another site. You are welcome to disagree. But I'm not going over everything I already said any more than that. You repeatedly stated that how one dresses reflects their self-image, and you say they're showing a lack of respect. How can you know this? You keep asserting that the premise is true, but the premise itself makes no sense to me. How can you know what they're thinking, what their circumstances are? Their presence in the mall has literally nothing to do with you, and yet you made a point of describing this as a sign of the downfall of polite society. You say it's a pet peeve, but you are condemning it rather harshly.

Did you actually read what I wrote? Or did you just skim and start typing away?Yes, I read it three times before I wrote my reply.

I found that you kept repeating the same points over and over again, that you can tell by looking at someone what their self-image is. This seems to be the basis for your judgment of others as disrespectful, which makes no sense to me.

Perhaps take your time to read it slower and w/o the notion its directed AT YOU and maybe you'll understand my reasoning better. Ironically, for someone not defensive you sure sound defensive and this seems like a "knee-jerk" response to me simply elaborating on my opinion and what I meant by "pet peeve". Actually, if I was intending to respond to anyone even indirectly it was probably hoolio but again...my response was intended to be GENERAL opinion. Not directed AT ANYONE. ok?So if it was not directed at anyone, why even make comments about defensiveness and knee-jerk responses?

And how am I supposed to know who you intend to respond to after I had already made several posts on this particular topic in this thread in the first place? Perhaps if you'd been explicit about who you were directing it at, this might have helped.

And no, I am not defensive. It seems to me you are misreading my post completely. Just as, I assume, you misread the intentions and self-perceptions of people who fail to dress to your standards. I am frustrated because you seem to assume that some element of what you are saying is obvious and therefore does not require explanation, but it is not obvious to me.

I thought I was purposely careful to preface the whole thing so I could avoid having my opinions taken personally or offensively. This kind of response to what I said is precisely what I was trying to avoid.I didn't take your opinions personally or offensively.

I just don't see the underpinning logic.

Offle
03-06-11, 01:30 AM
How can you possibly know this?

Because more of them say as much if you ask them or get near the subject. Also, I've seen plenty of people do it before in the dorms. I see them going to bed in one set of pajamas, and then see them the next day in class in the same set of pajamas. It's really common, especially on rain days I've noticed. Plus, people like to be comfy.

I'm not meaning to say everyone who wears their pajamas around does so out of laziness, but a lot of the teens and students you will see wearing them usually do. It's easy, comfy,and so much less hassle than getting dressed especially if the only reason you're awake in the first place is because you have an eight o'clock class and you're going right back to bed afterwards.

Also, it's not fashionable at all, at least as far as I have been told. My friends call them their "I don't give a fash-crap" days because they don't care about looking fashionable those days. They just want to be comfy and not care.

Fortune
03-06-11, 01:32 AM
Because more of them say as much if you ask them or get near the subject. Also, I've seen plenty of people do it before in the dorms. I see them going to bed in one set of pajamas, and then see them the next day in class in the same set of pajamas. It's really common, especially on rain days I've noticed. Plus, people like to be comfy.

I'm not meaning to say everyone who wears their pajamas around does so out of laziness, but a lot of the teens and students you will see wearing them usually do. It's easy, comfy,and so much less hassle than getting dressed especially if the only reason you're awake in the first place is because you have an eight o'clock class and you're going right back to bed afterwards.

Okay, fair enough.

I wonder if it's a bad thing or just a thing.

butterflyinrain
03-06-11, 01:33 AM
Comfortable to me means less. i like wearing shorts than sweat pants. when i am just at home a tank top and soft/cotton shorts are my thing.

koffy
03-06-11, 01:37 AM
I hate hose and tights. It's like having your buttcheeks glued together all day.

I hate underwear. I even hate the word "panties."

I hate bras but I wear them. I have to wear underwire even though I have small boobs. Otherwise the whole thing will dislocate itself every time I raise my arms. I do this pec flex thing to adjust it without my hands. I used to think nobody could tell until my friend gave me a weird look one day.

I hate tags. Nowadays they put them in the weirdest places and you have to cut them out in the bathroom sometimes with a Swiss Army knife.

Anything too close to my neck is bad. "Like being strangled by a really weak guy all day." Pace Mitch Hedberg, RIP.

Anything near my waist is bad, too. I like low-rise jeans.

As for heels, I never learned to walk in them, but I love platforms.

I also hate rings, watches, and bracelets.

I always admired the hell out of Hugh Hefner for creating a world for himself where he can wear pajamas all day. So awesome.

Stretch jeans are the greatest invention since the Internet.

Wool is not a fabric. It's just not.

NorCalAndy8
03-06-11, 01:40 AM
Going full commando seems comfortable. But I might have to burn my pants afterwords. lol

Or you could just wear nothing around the house. Letting it all hang out sounds a bit too comfortable. But if someone stops and questions you just tell them that you're invisible.

koffy
03-06-11, 02:15 AM
^^^^ LOL. The one time I did that I just went to the kitchen to make coffee and the meter man walked by the sliding glass doors in the back of the house. I thought I was safe because we have trees all around the back of the house. He also walked by the one time I had sex in living room. Now I just can't be naked in certain rooms because I know he'll show up again.

NorCalAndy8
03-06-11, 04:49 AM
^^^^ LOL. The one time I did that I just went to the kitchen to make coffee and the meter man walked by the sliding glass doors in the back of the house. I thought I was safe because we have trees all around the back of the house. He also walked by the one time I had sex in living room. Now I just can't be naked in certain rooms because I know he'll show up again.


Yeah, one of my college buddies walks around butt naked when his housemates aren't around. He has a glass door that leads to the balcony which is visible around his complex. I've asked him if he felt a little insecure walking around naked without any shades at his place. He tells me, "I don't care. If they wanna look, let them have a free show."

Haha, that meter man probably checks out more than just the meter during his occasional trips to your house. OMG..that is kind of freaky. But im sure it was quite embarrassing to have the meter man unexpectedly seeing you do the dirty dirty....you were with someone else...right? ...for protection...lol

koffy
03-06-11, 05:58 AM
I think he was as embarrassed as I was, really. I just pulled the quilt we were on up over myself as the meter man acted like he didn't see anything.

When I was in college in Austin, Texas, my friend lived in a co-op on the main drag. His bathroom had a huge window which faced the street, so he would not only shower with no curtain so that everyone passing by could see him, but he would do these Pete Townsend air guitar twirls whenever he thought anyone was watching. If you looked down the street (I lived on it, too) and saw a few people sort of standing across the street from his building, you knew Jerry was putting on his shower show for the spectators. If you're going to be an exhibitionist, commit, man.

NorCalAndy8
03-06-11, 06:17 AM
I think he was as embarrassed as I was, really. I just pulled the quilt we were on up over myself as the meter man acted like he didn't see anything.

When I was in college in Austin, Texas, my friend lived in a co-op on the main drag. His bathroom had a huge window which faced the street, so he would not only shower with no curtain so that everyone passing by could see him, but he would do these Pete Townsend air guitar twirls whenever he thought anyone was watching. If you looked down the street (I lived on it, too) and saw a few people sort of standing across the street from his building, you knew Jerry was putting on his shower show for the spectators. If you're going to be an exhibitionist, commit, man.


OMG..that is too funny. I can't imagine showering without curtains, especially if the shower has a window that looks out to the street. Air guitar twirls in the shower haha. He sounds like one shameless, living human being but quite bad***.

So, nobody complained about his segments of indecent exposure to the public?

hoolio
03-06-11, 06:39 AM
Ok, this may come out all messed up. Me and "multi-quote" don't always work well together! lol. So I apologize if this comes out all "misconbobulated".

EDIT: OK, yup I messed it up... parts of quotes are not here that I wanted here, and other parts that were not relevant are here that I thought I took out (so that it wasn't a novel).

[quote=Flibbertigibbet;1039518]Ok 1st let me say I'm not trying to insult anyone here. I don't just formulate opinions arbitrarily. Usually there is a very well thought out or deeper reason behind it. And its not just to look down my nose at someone. So, please don't take offense as it is not my intention.

Perhaps take your time to read it slower and w/o the notion its directed AT YOU and maybe you'll understand my reasoning better. Ironically, for someone not defensive you sure sound defensive and this seems like a "knee-jerk" response to me simply elaborating on my opinion and what I meant by "pet peeve". Actually, if I was intending to respond to anyone even indirectly it was probably hoolio but again...my response was intended to be GENERAL opinion. Not directed AT ANYONE. ok?

I thought I was purposely careful to preface the whole thing so I could avoid having my opinions taken personally or offensively. This kind of response to what I said is precisely what I was trying to avoid.
Wow, what a debate this turned out to be! I apologize if I in any way incited any hard feelings or anything.

I didn't take anything you (or others) have said as an insult, same as my quoting the earlier response was not meant to insult or be rude to anyone, and neither is my response here (which I am making to hopefully clarify my thoughts on the issue, not to further fuel the fire - so please don't take it that way). I actually agree with BOTH sides of the issue which hopefully is what comes across! (and truth be told, years ago, you wouldn't catch me in my sweatpants in public)!

We all have different opinions and I think we should all be able to voice that. I respect your (meaning anyone and everyone reading) opinion completely even if I don't fully understand or agree with it.

well, for the same reason there is appropriate clothing for that wedding, funeral, job interview... you're in public...you should not be wearing your underwear or pajamas. Its simply not appropriate. they look like lazy slobs who don't give an F about themselves... or respecting other ppl.

its not about making ppl happy...its about showing respect for yourself and others. This world is so full of ppl who just dont give a rats butt about anyone but themselves and it shows. it seems like such a "little thing" to concern yourself iwth but i think the little things add up to an over all "mood" ppl have towards one another. ppl become more rude towards each other in general. One thing really does lead to another. Most ppl are completely unaware of this.

Flash back to when people actually dressed really really nice just to walk to the market. Gowns and parasols and nice hat and vests... ppl were so polite to one another back then. ppl showed respect for themselves and others in public. If you look at history and see the change in fashion in correlation with how ppl treated each other..youll see what Im talking about. How we present ourselves on the outside is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves on the inside. And others respond to that...subconsciously and consciously. Like it or not..you will be judged by your appearance. Its human nature to assess their surroundings.

Ok this question is for the ladies here. (guys I don't mean to exclude you. If the question relates to you by all means please speak up ;) ) What panties do you wear when you have a date? What panties do you wear when youre feeling ill or have yer [.] ? What kind do you wear for every day? (this is not necessary to answer literally...ask yourselves quietly so we dont get the boys in a tizzy. lol) Do you feel more confidant or sexy when you wear the special pretty underwear? Why would it effect how you feel if youre the only one (supposedly) that can see them? Because its a reflection of how you feel or want to feel and thus effects or reflects your self image. Thats why. Now broaden the view to include the clothes ppl DO see you in. If they effect you..then they effect others too. as in how they view you I mean. And it starts to set a precident. This is why there are dress codes in places. It effects the psychology of the entire establishment.Not in reference to some "moral code" like youre a bad person if you wear white after labor day.
But as how we "present" ourself being mindful of how others "receive us". And having that much consideration for yourself and how others perceive you reflects respect. And I think this is where it gets tricky for ppl and where the confusion lies because the knee-jerk reaction is to be like "who are you to judge me or care wtf I wear? I'll wear whatever I want to wear!" thinking its an attack on their freedom or indivduality or some stuffy notion of what is and whats not fashionable. Of course people don't want to get caught up in caring what other ppl think so much that they stop being themselves and dress to please others or to conform while suppressing their own personality and individuality. Thats not what Im suggesting at all.

What I'm suggesting/asserting is, how you dress reflects your self-image and the amt of respect you have for yourself and others. If you're wearing something that says "I don't care"....thats the message you're giving to ppl... about yourself and them. If you portray yourself as someone who doesn't care then no one will care about you that much either. Not just at the mall. But you never know. You can meet people anywhere. What kind of people do you want to attract? Ppl who don't care or ppl who care?
I think if more people took the time to be aware of and care about their self image and how they presented themselves to others they would notice a significant increase in their happiness over all. Not "worry"... CARE.
I don't think some ppl realize how much they push away the things they want because of the self-image they put out there to others. You do make valid points, whether it is right or wrong, in this world we are judged by appearance (among other things). I guess for me, when it comes to the clothing department, it depends on whether or not I care about who is judging and why (or whether they have a right or reason to judge me - in other words, if they have no vested interest in my clothes and are not directly effected by it, then they shouldn't be bothered by what I have on any more than I should be bothered what they have on, to each there own!).

Of course I have certain outfits etc. that I feel good in because I know that I look good in them. And if I am going out somewhere where I want to attract/impress someone (a date or job interview for example) I would dress according to how the other person is going to "perceive" or "receive" me. In the case of a job interview, if you are hired you are going to be a reflection of the company so of course your appearance is going to matter to them. In these situations the person has a "reason" to judge your appearance because they have a vested interest in it (suitable for the company or if they find you attractive in the case of a date).

Same goes for a wedding or funeral or something. You are there to honor someone (bride/groom or the deceased etc.) and as such there is a certain "dress code" for these types of events that you should adhere to out of respect.

But, if I am just out at the mall or wherever, the people at the mall don't know me and have no valid reason to judge me on what I am wearing (whether it be something nice, or my sweats/pajama pants). In that kind of situation I really don't care what others think about what I am wearing anymore than I care what they chose to wear grocery shopping. (ie: what I wear has no effect on them, what they wear has no effect on me).

It is not my right to pass judgment on someone just because I happen to be in the same public place as them. If a total stranger is going to make sweeping judgments about me, or use my dress as an "excuse" to treat me disrespectfully, I think that says more about them than me. I mean, if I don't take their opinion of my outfit personally, why should they take my outfit personally?

Example: I used to work at an office and had to wear dress/business clothes every day. At work, I cared how I was perceived, in part as a reflection on me (if I wanted to get promoted etc), and in part because my "dress" was a reflection on the company (therefor they had a "right" or reason to judge my dress and find it disrespectful for me to not be dressed appropriately).

Because I was so constricted on what I could wear during the week, on the weekends I was all about comfort. On a Sunday at the grocery store, I didn't give a hoot what the cashier thought about my sweats and ratty t-shirt! And she/he had no reason to care what I wore. It was not a reflection on her/him in any way. If I wore my sweats over there it had nothing to do with "disrespecting" the cashier. Or disrespecting myself for that matter...it had to do with me wanting to be comfortable for the day and being confident enough in myself that I didn't need to dress in a certain way because of how others might look at me.

So, my point is that both sides are right. There are times and places where your choice of clothing is important and not dressing appropriately can/should be considered "disrespectful" (to yourself and others).

But there are times when passing judgment or finding fault with someones attire is just not appropriate and is well, disrespectful! I mean if someone just didn't feel like putting jeans on today and would rather go to the mall all nice and comfy in their sweats.... shouldn't we "respect" their right to make that decision?

koffy
03-06-11, 07:24 AM
So, nobody complained about his segments of indecent exposure to the public?

It was the main drag in Austin, Texas, dude. That was considered relatively normal, if novel.

stef
03-06-11, 08:59 AM
interesting thread (just skimming the debate parts for now...)
I like jeans, skirts etc with some lycra; I have a pair of "jeggings" that I bought this summer, I love them. I love leggings! I was so happy that a long sweater, leggings and flats came back in style, i can get away with wearing that to work and it's totally comfortable. I like turtlenecks actually because I'm always cold in winter, it's really drafty everywhere here; But all my tops have to be really soft, not tight and not stiff or "boxy" fitting. Can't wear actual blouses; no wool, no scratchy polyester, EVER.

Flibbertigibbet
03-06-11, 12:33 PM
And how am I supposed to know who you intend to respond to after I had already made several posts on this particular topic in this thread in the first place? Perhaps if you'd been explicit about who you were directing it at, this might have helped.

I will quote you directly. I didn't in my initial "novena" except at the very end re:"wasting energy"
and I prefaced it with a GENERAL addressing to "anyone". I didn't say "you specifically" When I am "explicitly" directing it at someone..Ill say so or quote them. (unless sometimes its the post directly after it and its way obvious who Im talking to.) Seriously, its really frustrating and exhausting having to go over these details that are self-evident and unimportant. ok.. so on with me re-explaining my explanation of my explanation...And yes, now I am clearly responding TO you in an attempt to clarify things.


The governing principles behind what I've said, and I've mentioned before:

"Your self-esteem is a reflection of what you think about yourself (self-image) on the inside and what you do on the outside."

"hygiene and clothing selection are functions of one's self image." (ie: what you do on the outside)

"If one doesn't respect oneself one can have neither love nor respect for others." -Ayn Rand

Synonyms or near-synonyms of self-esteem include: 'self-worth',[1] 'self-regard',[2] 'self-respect',[3][4] and 'self-integrity'. According to The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, "self-love" is "the instinct or desire to promote one's well-being".[5

Self-love is the strong sense of respect for and confidence in oneself. It different from narcissism in that as one practices acceptance and detachment, the awareness of the individual shifts and the individual starts to see him or herself as an extension of all there is.
In 1956 psychologist and social philosopher Erich Fromm proposed that loving oneself is different from being arrogant, conceited or egocentric. He proposed that loving oneself means caring about oneself, taking responsibility for oneself, respecting oneself, and knowing oneself (e.g. being realistic and honest about one's strengths and weaknesses). He proposed, further, that in order to be able to truly love another person, a person needs first to love oneself in this way. [1]

Respect
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Respect denotes both a positive feeling of esteem for a person of other entity (such as a nation or a religion), and also specific actions and conduct representative of that esteem. Respect can be a specific feeling of regard for the actual qualities of the one respected.
It can also be conduct in accord with a specific ethic of respect. Rude conduct is usually considered to indicate a lack of respect, disrespect, where as actions that honor somebody or something indicate respect.
Specific ethics of respect are of fundamental importance to various cultures. Respect for tradition and legitimate authority is identified by Jonathan Haidt as one of five fundamental moral values shared to a greater or lesser degree by different societies and individuals.[1]
Respect should not be confused with tolerance, since tolerance doesn't necessarily imply any positive feeling, and is incompatible with contempt, which is the opposite of respect.


dignity: the quality of being worthy of esteem or respect

Decency is the measure of an object's worth and value.
decency - the quality of being polite and respectable
dignity, self-regard, self-respect, self-worth - the quality of being worthy of esteem or respect

Pride:
1. a feeling of honour and self-respect; a sense of personal worth
2 personal dignity
take pride in
to feel pride about -You should take more pride in (=care more for) your appearance.
decorum: propriety in manners and conduct; appropriate social behavior; ettiquite
behavior in keeping with good taste
(1) Suitability of Behavior or conduct, (2) conventions of polite behavior, and (3) Proper to the unity of the composition.


Respect is in no way "nebulous". And Respect is just one of the things that matters to me. So is integrity and honor and Love. in fact, I find those words synonymous.
How it relates to showing respect to others is reflected in what I said in my 1st post referring to the saying "If you dont love yourself you cant love somebody else" and that respect works much the same way. (please refer to above Ayn Rand quote) If someone has no self-respect (which is tantamount to self-love) than they are also showing a lack of respect to others. and I further explained by using the whole "I dont care" vocabulary that was being said about not caring what others think. "I don't care" = "I don't respect". How can you respect someone you don't care about? Including yourself.

You brought it up earlier..and I didn't address it. But since you aren't grasping the connection between respecting others and yourself... This is the most relevant and immediate example of this.

When I'm in public I don't care about other people, I would really rather not talk to other people, and in fact I would be perfectly happy if people pretended I didn't exist unless there's a reason to interact (say, I want to buy something or need to find something). This isn't a matter of my self-image or my self-respect, I am simply not all that tied into what other people think, care about, or want. I am not dressing to apply for a job or attend a party or go to work or visit someone or sell a house or marry anyone. I'm simply going out to buy something I want or need.

This, to me, is a perfect example of having no respect for others...and it does reflect a lack of respect for yourself. What you described is like, Apathy kinda.

Apathy (also called impassivity or perfunctoriness) is a state of indifference, or the suppression of emotions such as concern, excitement, motivation and passion. An apathetic individual has an absence of interest in or concern about emotional, social, or physical life.
In 1950, US novelist John Dos Passos wrote that "Apathy is one of the characteristic responses of any living organism when it is subjected to stimuli too intense or too complicated to cope with."
"a sense of disconnected numbness and indifference to normal social interaction."
A review article by Robert van Reekum MD et al. from the University of Toronto in the Journal of Neuropsychiatry (2005) claimed that "depression and apathy were a package deal" in some populations which may help illustrate what people mean when they say that "The opposite of love is not hate, it is apathy."

There is a big difference between not allowing others negativity or judgements effect your self-esteem and not caring about other people, not wanting to talk to other people and preferring ppl treated you as if you didn't exist. I'm sorry but I see no evidence of confidence or respect in any of that.

"If one doesn't respect oneself one can have neither love nor respect for others." -Ayn Rand

I am not taking this display of what I perceive as a lack of respect for themselves or others "personally". I'm not sure where you get the idea that I'm somehow consumed with offense. Or like i'm sitting in the mall with a little booklet jotting down my dissapprovals of ppl. I just find that dressing like a slob and not caring about how you present yourself to the world, no matter where you are, is a sign of a lack of respect for themselves and others around them. I'm not even suggesting that *I* have no respect for them personally!! As I said before I'm not looking down my nose all judgy...its merely an observation of THEIR lack of respect. And one that I do not obsess over or "waste energy on" (except for spending 10+ hours writing in this forum) All this explaining over something so simple...

I also already differentiated between "superficial trappings" (as such fashion faux pas of wearing white after labor day) and getting caught up in caring what other ppl think so much that they stop being themselves and dress to please others or to conform while suppressing their own personality and individuality. I already said thats not what I was saying at all.
Its the mentioning of things like this that have me thinking youre not actually reading what I'm writing. I said it in the last post that I said it all in the post before that. But, at the risk of being accused of repeating myself again...let me...reiterate..

A mall is not an "occasion". yes. I already acknowledged that. however,
Would you wear a bikini in the mall? your underwear? a slip? a robe? How are sweats or pajamas any different? I don't believe they are. They're not appropriate attire for being in public. Mall or otherwise. (unless you wear the bikini to the beach or the sweats to the gym...cuz that is where they are appropriate. and thus you are "respecting" others and the establishment and public decorum. (Proper to the unity of the composition.)The mall actually does have a dress code as do many stores. "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service" no, I know it doesnt mention sweatpants. my point in mentioning it tho is because...you're saying why would anyone care if someone is wearing sweatpants? well... why would anyone care if a guy had his shirt off? Why would anyone care if they werent wearing shoes? Respect. Social decorum. Appropriateness. There are just common courtesy and standards of respect you try to adhere to in public. Its not an "occasion" ...but its not your living room either...or the gym. (again, not a HUGE deal or punishable in any way but how ppl dress in public will effect how others perceive you and that will essentially be lack of respect)
Another example: Its even a sign of respect for men to remove your hat in public.

A man should remove his hat outdoors (and indoors):
(1) when he is being introduced to someone
(2) while talking with a woman, an elder, or a a person of prominence
(3) while the National Anthem is being played, or your country's Flag is passing
(4) at a funeral, or during the passing of a funeral procession

Indoors, a man should always remove his hat, especially in a home, church, or restaurant except:
(1) in some public places such as airports
(2) In retail stores
(3) while seated at the counter of a diner or cafe
(4) in the foyers of office buildings or hotels
(5) if both hands are busy carrying packages
If in doubt, remove you hat. It is considered a sign of contempt and disrespect to leave your hat on when it would be proper to remove it.

So that you understand, I am using the hat example to illustrate that what we choose to wear can indeed reflect how we respect others. again, you're not going to jail or are a bad person ..it just shows a lack of respect.

EVEN IF you arent CONSCIOUSLY making the decision to not show self-respect or pride in your appearance or respect for public/social ettiquite (which I already assumed ppl werent doing it consciously with that intent in mind) What we do, how we act, how we dress all effects the people we come in contact with on a subconscious level. All day long we pick up on non-verbal cues and are influenced by everything we see on a subconscious level. This is how Hypnosis works. This is how Advertizing works.We are by-passing critical thinking and all this information gets collected and imbedded in our subconscious...which is where our long-term memory resides. If you are surrounded by ppl who don't respect themselves and the general attitude is one of "I dont care" about whatever...your own clothes, someone eles, whether they even exist or not...guess what kind of attitude is being reinforced and spreading? "I DON'T CARE" thats what.

Call me fool-hearted and a dreamer but...I'm in favor of the attitude of CARING. Not to be confused with "insecurely obsessing over what others think of you" But caring as it refers to and reflects respect for yourself and your surroundings and fellow human beings.

I don't need a 6th sense to have an opinion based on how someone presents themself. And I am also not the only one who has stated this. Several others have said they would not wear sweats in public and that dressing poorly or like a slob shows a lack of self respect.

I made an off-hand remark about how I feel it has a rippled effect in how ppl treat each other. I strongly feel that everything we do effects the world around us. On multiple levels. It may be too subtle for you to notice...because as you said, "you dont care" so why would you notice?. But that doesn't make my observations any less valid or that is has no meaning or that they don't make sense or that it doesn't matter.
I'm sorry my point of view makes no sense to you and you don't get it or that my reasoning doesn't seem valid to you. Sometimes... ppl just think differently ...and thats okay.


"You keep asserting that what you wear reflects your attitude and respect and so on, but this is not actually established."

But it is. like i said, twice, I don't just pull this stuff out of my butt.and I've explained why... a few times..with c&p from another site. with pictures. definitions of terms. ... but heres some other c&p that may word things better still... in relation to where this "6th sense" comes from and the not-so-nebulous notion of respect, how it relates to how we dress and how we have an effect on ppl around us.. (I hope you'll pardon the hap-hazard collection. I've literally been researching and gathering stuff for you for like.. uh,... 11 hours or more? I have not slept yet. Do me a favor please.. when you're done reading all this. Can we just agree to disagree if you still think it makes no sense? Please don't ask me to address further questions, at least not right now. Cuz there is no way in Hell I'm going to be able to go over a single shred of this again. I don't want to be rude by not answering you but I've exhausted every possible angle at this point...and my mouse hand hurts..:

Quotes:
"Every action in company ought to be with some sign of respect to those present."
--Rules of Civility

Respect yourself if you would have others respect you. --Baltasar Gracian

"Neither we, nor any other people, will ever be respected till we respect ourselves and we will never respect ourselves till we have the means to live respectfully."
--Frederick Douglas

The true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good.
– Ann Landers

True self--respect, being very different from false pride, leads inevitably to respecting others.--Virginia Moore

There are countless ways of attaining greatness, but any road to reaching one's maximum potential must be built on a bedrock of respect for the individual, a commitment to excellence, and a rejection of mediocrity.--Buck Rodgers

Who am I?
I am a little thing with a big meaning.
I help everybody. I unlock doors, open hearts,
dispel prejudice. I create friendship and goodwill.
I inspire courtesy and admiration.
Everybody loves me. I bore no one. I violate no law.
I cost nothing. Many have praised me.
No one has ever condemned me. I am pleasing to those of high and low degree.
I am useful every moment of the day.
I am Respect!–Unknown

Is there no respect of place, persons, nor time in you? --William Shakespeare

Character is the foundation stone upon which one must build to win respect. Just as no worthy building can be erected on a weak foundation, so no lasting reputation worthy of respect can be built on a weak character.
R. C. Samsel

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quick blurbs from around the interwebs:

Personal grooming not only affects the way others see you, but also has an impact on how you feel about yourself. When you look and feel your best you are able to present yourself confidently with others.


3. Your physical appearance is the first impression that people have of who you are. Choosing to ignore common personal grooming habits may indicate to those around you that are not detail oriented; that you do not take pride in your work because you don't take pride in your appearance; or that you are not someone who desires to be taken seriously. Just as curb appeal is important in marketing a home for sale, your image is what helps "sell" you to potential employers, members of the opposite sex, peers and any other groups of people you come in contact with. Your resume may tell the story of a highly educated and accomplished individual, but if your appearance and cleanliness don't follow suit then you put yourself at a disadvantage, possibly missing out on opportunities for advancement at work and fulfillment in personal relationships.

4. Poor grooming can indicate to others that you lack self-esteem. In turn, presenting yourself at less-than-your-best contributes to further declines in how you feel about yourself, creating a vicious cycle of poor self-image and discomfort in social settings.

~~~~~~
Self Image
How well do you dress? Do you make an effort to look good? Are you happy with the way you look? Your external appearance if often a reflect of how you internally view yourself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Self-Awareness Theory
Self-Awareness Theory states that when we focus our attention on ourselves, we evaluate and compare our current behavior to our internal standards and values. We become self-conscious as objective evaluators of ourselves. Various emotional states are intensified by self-awareness, and people sometimes try to reduce or escape it through things like television, video games, drugs, etc. However, some people may seek to increase their self-awareness through these outlets. People are more likely to align their behavior with their standards when made self-aware. People will be negatively affected if they don't live up to their personal standards. Various environmental cues and situations induce awareness of the self, such as mirrors, an audience, or being videotaped or recorded. These cues also increase accuracy of personal memory.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Self-verification theory
Self-verification is a social psychological theory that asserts people want to be known and understood by others according to their firmly held beliefs and feelings about themselves, that is self-views (including self-concepts and self-esteem). A competing theory to self-verification is self-enhancement or the drive for positive evaluations.
Because chronic self-concepts and self-esteem play an important role in understanding the world, providing a sense of coherence, and guiding action, people become motivated to maintain them through self-verification.

Difference between positive and negative self-views

There are individual differences in people's views of themselves. Among people with positive self-views, the desire for self-verification works together with another important motive, the desire for positive evaluations or "self enhancement".[3] For example, those who view themselves as "insightful" will find that their motive for both self-verification and self-enhancement encourage them to seek evidence that other people recognize their insightfulness.
In contrast, people with negative self-views will find that the desire for self-verification and self-enhancement are competing. Consider people who see themselves as disorganized. Whereas their desire for self-enhancement will compel them to seek evidence that others perceive them as organized, their desire for self-verification will compel such individuals to seek evidence that others perceive them as disorganized. Self-verification strivings tend to prevail over self-enhancement strivings when people are certain of the self-concept[4] and when they have extremely depressive self-views.[5]


Effects on behavior

Self-verification theory suggests that people may begin to shape others' evaluations of them before they even begin interacting with them. They may, for example, display identity cues (see: impression management). The most effective identity cues enable people to signal who they are to potential interaction partners.
Physical appearance, such as clothes, body posture, demeanor.[12] For example, the low self-esteem person who evokes reactions that confirm her negative self-views by slumping her shoulders and keeping her eyes fixed on the ground.
Other cues, such as the car someone buys, the house they live in, the way they decorate their living environment. For example, an SUV evokes reactions that confirm a person's positive self-view.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Self-concept
...aspects of self-concept, body image develops and evolves over time. For the infant, body image involves sensorimotor experiences in which the body is not perceived as separate from the surroundings. As a person ages, body image invoves not only physical appearance and functions, but also items associated with the body, such as clothing, jewelry, eyeglasses, pacemakers and prostheses.

Rosenberg (1979), who postulated that self-concept is a cognitive structure comprised of three broad dimensions: “the extant self (how the individual sees himself); the desired self (how he would like to see himself); and the presenting self (how he shows himself to others)”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
there was too much of this to c&p so there are huge gaps in between paragraphs but its a whole study revolving around how clothing effects our self-esteem/self-respect and how we view others etc etc.. its done on adolecents but its pretty much saying the same things I was saying...only all sciency.

http://web1.msue.msu.edu/imp/modrr/rr556098.html

Clothing in the Self-System of Adolescents:


Dimension 1: Clothing in relation to self as structure.
Clothing is not regarded as an object separate from the
person but as a portrait of the self-that is, as an
organized picture of oneself existing in one's
awareness. Clothing is a mirror that reflects much about
the person, such as one's image, personality, values,
attitudes, beliefs or moods.


Dimension 4: Clothing in relation to self-esteem-
evaluative process dominant.
Clothing can positively or negatively affect one's
self-worth or self-respect. A person not only compares
one's clothing to others' clothing on the basis of a
personal or social standard but also evaluates the self
in terms of one's confidence, competence, mastery of
environment, and social adequacy. In turn, a person acts
in accordance with this evaluation. For example, a
person may feel more confident when dressed
appropriately and may, in turn, act confidently. If a
person thinks or feels that his or her clothing is
appropriate or desirable, positive self-esteem may
result. Clothing can affect confidence in one's
abilities, personal qualities, features, or performance.


Dimension 5: Clothing in relation to
self-esteem-affective process dominant.
As a result of evaluations made above, people experience
an emotional response directed toward the self. This
positive or negative affect is expressive of self-esteem
and is often verbally expressed with words such as
feeling good, bad, content, embarrassed, or comfortable
about or with the self. Self-esteem may also affect
one's feelings about or behavior toward clothing. For
example, individuals who feel bad about themselves may
select clothing that reveals or expresses this feeling
or helps compensate for it and bolsters their
self-esteem.


Dimension 6: Clothing in relation to body image and body
cathexis.
Everyone has a picture of her or his body existing in
consciousness. This picture can change from time to time
or be stable over time. The individual's body image may
closely match her or his body figure or be quite
distorted. Characteristics of clothing-such as line,
style, color, and texture-can help create or modify
one's body image. A female adolescent, for example, may
perceive that she is fat when she wears loose-fitting
clothing. If her perceived body image meets her
standards, she may be satisfied with her body and her
clothing. The level of satisfaction with or feelings
directed toward the body is called cathexis. Body image
and body cathexis may affect self-esteem and an
individual's clothing behavior. A person may select or
wear clothing that reveals or hides parts of the body
according to one's body image or body cathexis relative
to those parts. Therefore, clothing can play a
significant role in enhancing or reflecting an
individual's body satisfaction or in compensating for
body dissatisfaction.


The highest correlations for both girls and boys
occurred between dimension 4 (clothing in relation to
self-esteem-evaluative process dominant) and clothing
interest, and dimension 5 (clothing in relation to
self-esteem-affective process dominant) and clothing
interest. Thus, as clothing becomes important to an
adolescent in building and maintaining self-esteem and
feeling good about the self, both boys and girls take a
heightened interest in clothing.


Finally, we found that, of the domains explored in this
study, adolescents' perceived quality of life appears to
be most influenced by their affective evaluations of the
self, their family, their neighborhood, and their
friends. Strengthening these domains of adolescent life
should have the effect of increasing their quality of
life.
What implications do these findings have for schools and
other groups and agencies? First, instructors of life
management or other appropriate classes may wish to
include learning strategies that help adolescents
understand how clothing may serve multiple positive
functions for the developing self. Because of
differential socialization of girls and boys and the
nature of life experiences that adolescents have
encountered, these functions differ by gender as well as
between individuals of the same gender. Understanding
these differences could help adolescents and parents
become more tolerant of diverse patterns of dressing.
Secondly, findings also suggest that instructors, youth
group leaders, parents, and peers may help an adolescent
become more satisfied with clothing by helping the
adolescent select and acquire clothing that will fit his
or her image of self and build a sense of personal
competence. Parent and teacher associations could
request that clothing professionals conduct educational
programs for parents and teachers on how clothing
functions for healthy self-concept and self-esteem.
Third, administrators responsible for setting policies
related to dress codes or school uniforms would be
prudent to take into account the possibility for
adolescents to realize important values within the
allowable forms of dress.(*editorial* IE:TEACHING KIDS TO CARE) For example, how much
creativity and ability to express masculinity or
femininity may be retained by permitting some variety in
and options for selecting or personalizing uniforms or
other elements of allowable dress? Can required school
uniforms function in support of the self in the same way
as individually chosen clothing? Future research,
building on the results reported here, should address
this question through an experimental research design.
Finally, because affective evaluation of self was the
most important predictor of adolescents' perceived
quality of life, identifying and enriching environments
that support the development of a positive self-concept
and high self-esteem are important for parents,
adolescents, schools, and other organizations. Schools
and other groups concerned with youth development can
also support programs aimed at strengthening family
life, improving neighborhoods, and helping young people
form healthy friendships.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
theres way more in that study but again I just wanted to demonstrate some other ppls views on how clothing effects our self esteem and how others view us....starting very young.
THE END!

Flibbertigibbet
03-06-11, 12:47 PM
Oh, Goodness,,,Hoolio!

Thank you for your response and for understanding what I was saying. Please forgive me if I don't respond to any particular points right now...I can barely type nor keep my eyes open and my head is splitting lol I've been sitting here since like 9 or 10 pm and its almost noon now.

I hope that I somehow may have addressed anything you mentioned in the LONGEST FORUM POST EVER. lol
xoxo (((HUGS)))
goodni.. er... day.
I'm gonna go slip into something more comfortable now...

....like a coma. :P

Offle
03-06-11, 04:36 PM
I hate underwear. I even hate the word "panties."


I don't mind soft cotton underwear, but I hate anything silky or lacy or really tight, pretty much any kind of sexy underwear. Unfortunately I've had a very difficult time making my last couple of boyfriends understand that. They kept buying me it for the various anniversaries people celebrate every month. Apparently the fact that they make my bum look fantastic is supposed to make up for the fact that wearing the underwear makes me want to claw my skin off.

Lunacie
03-06-11, 08:39 PM
I don't care how much crap someone finds on the internet to back up their moral notions of how the way we dress reflects on our self-esteem or how it makes others respect or disrespect us. That was very true when I was a child in the 50's and 60's, and there are times and places when it's still important to dress neatly - but I'm not going to include every public place where one might be seen by a stranger as being on the same scale of importance.

I attended a dinner and talent contest at a country club last week and you know what I wore? It sure wasn't panty hose and pointy-toed high-heeled shoes. I wore my best dark blue jeans, my croc-type shoes, and a very nice new knit/tee top with silver jewelry. Not as dressy as some, but I wasn't distracted by itching or scratching that made me cranky. I was able to enjoy the evening without looking like a slob. If someone wanted to judge me as lacking self esteem or respect for myself or the venue, that's on them. They're not living with Sensory Processing Disorder, eh?

And again I'll point out that someone might be stopping by a store on the way home from a workout session, just in-and-out to get a couple of things, not worth going home and taking a shower and changing clothes and getting back out again - not to mention a waste of gas.

Flibbertigibbet
03-06-11, 11:45 PM
I don't care how much crap someone finds on the internet to back up their moral notions of how the way we dress reflects on our self-esteem or how it makes others respect or disrespect us. That was very true when I was a child in the 50's and 60's, and there are times and places when it's still important to dress neatly - but I'm not going to include every public place where one might be seen by a stranger as being on the same scale of importance.

I attended a dinner and talent contest at a country club last week and you know what I wore? It sure wasn't panty hose and pointy-toed high-heeled shoes. I wore my best dark blue jeans, my croc-type shoes, and a very nice new knit/tee top with silver jewelry. Not as dressy as some, but I wasn't distracted by itching or scratching that made me cranky. I was able to enjoy the evening without looking like a slob. If someone wanted to judge me as lacking self esteem or respect for myself or the venue, that's on them. They're not living with Sensory Processing Disorder, eh?

And again I'll point out that someone might be stopping by a store on the way home from a workout session, just in-and-out to get a couple of things, not worth going home and taking a shower and changing clothes and getting back out again - not to mention a waste of gas.

Im so glad I bothered to preface my earlier post with my intentions to not offend anyone. Its worked like gangbusters! :rolleyes:
lol
Dont get yer panties in a knot, sister. yer just gonna make yourself more cranky. :p
No one here or anywhere is judging you.
I only elaborated because people asked for further explanation of how or why I thought the way I did. It started as an off the cuff comment. I hasn't actually put all that much careful thought into it till it seemed necessary to. My own words were apparently not sufficient. Abundant...but not sufficient. She asked for something established...so I collected what I could to support my OPINION. And I got lost in a sea of interesting information and shared what I could.

I'm sorry it stirreded you up. No one expects you to waste time or gas. If you read it all you'd see actually wearing sweats to the gym and just stopping at the store were mentioned as no biggie. The issue was wearing them to the mall or other places as if they were every day attire.

Gosh, I just had a funny thought.. can any of you imagine what you'd do if this was the Victorian age or like the 17th century? The corsets and 8 layers of pettycoats and bustle cages and high wigs and dresses you couldn't walk thru a doorway w/o walking sideways?
lol some of you would go stark raving mad! ...and then put in a straight jacket to boot! lol
From the sounds of it it would probably be total torture. (for SPD I mean)

Honestly, I wish I lived back then. Those gowns were so pretty. I'd need maids to help dress me. I'd get to empty ****-pots out 2nd story windows into the street.
I'd get to ride in a carriage.
good times! :D

metzfanaz
03-07-11, 01:14 AM
It's less the fashion of the day and just sheer laziness and not caring. Most of the time those teens literally just rolled out of bed, put on some deodorant, and went to the store or to class or where ever. It's very common to see almost everyone dressed like that around my campus during finals week, midterms, and sundays. Although on Sundays it's usually accompanied by a hoodie and sunglasses, changing it from the "I just rolled out of bed" look into the "I really wish I didn't drink so much last night" look.

Personally I don't wear pajamas out and about. I feel like it takes away from the magic of changing into them when I get back home. It's silly, but changing into my pajamas is one of the best parts of my day, and wearing them around town takes away from that a lot.

As for the magic, I hear ya there. I change out of my work clothes when I make it home and put on jeans or shorts and a t-shirt. Like the day is finally done. :)

For the sweatpants I've seen people all over wearing that though. I counted 3 girls at Walgreens, of various age coming in or out of the store with their parents or sisters with this look. It might be because Tucson is known as a more laid back city, so much so that it's rare to see anyone seriously dressed to the nines.

Sweatpants are so blah. :p

hoolio
03-07-11, 01:35 AM
Oh, Goodness,,,Hoolio!

Thank you for your response and for understanding what I was saying. Please forgive me if I don't respond to any particular points right now...I can barely type nor keep my eyes open and my head is splitting lol I've been sitting here since like 9 or 10 pm and its almost noon now.

I hope that I somehow may have addressed anything you mentioned in the LONGEST FORUM POST EVER. lol
xoxo (((HUGS)))
goodni.. er... day.
I'm gonna go slip into something more comfortable now...

....like a coma. :P

Im so glad I bothered to preface my earlier post with my intentions to not offend anyone. Its worked like gangbusters! :rolleyes:
lol
Dont get yer panties in a knot, sister. yer just gonna make yourself more cranky. :p
No one here or anywhere is judging you.
I only elaborated because people asked for further explanation of how or why I thought the way I did. It started as an off the cuff comment. I hasn't actually put all that much careful thought into it till it seemed necessary to. My own words were apparently not sufficient. Abundant...but not sufficient. She asked for something established...so I collected what I could to support my OPINION. And I got lost in a sea of interesting information and shared what I could.

I'm sorry it stirreded you up. No one expects you to waste time or gas. If you read it all you'd see actually wearing sweats to the gym and just stopping at the store were mentioned as no biggie. The issue was wearing them to the mall or other places as if they were every day attire.

Gosh, I just had a funny thought.. can any of you imagine what you'd do if this was the Victorian age or like the 17th century? The corsets and 8 layers of pettycoats and bustle cages and high wigs and dresses you couldn't walk thru a doorway w/o walking sideways?
lol some of you would go stark raving mad! ...and then put in a straight jacket to boot! lol
From the sounds of it it would probably be total torture. (for SPD I mean)

Honestly, I wish I lived back then. Those gowns were so pretty. I'd need maids to help dress me. I'd get to empty ****-pots out 2nd story windows into the street.
I'd get to ride in a carriage.
good times! :D

No worries. I have read many other posts by you and you don't strike me as some sort of fashion police arresting people in the malls for OMG daring to be in sweatpants! lol.

I for one wouldn't last 5 minutes in the Victorian age! I hate dresses and hate to admit, comfort tends to trump when it comes to my clothes! lol. I am itching just thinking about corsets! And the parasols... I'd have to have it attached to me or I would lose it in no time! lmao

I do tend to wear whats comfy because I don't feel confident when I am pinching and pulling at shirts that feel clingy to me (hence my t-shirts - which everyone i know hates me wearing btw!). So for me, I often do feel more "confident" or "comfortable with myself" in clothes that others consider "slobby" because then I am not self-conscious of my fidgeting, and it irks the heck out of me that people may judge me as a lazy slob because of that (maybe because I kind of am sometimes! lol). EDIT to add: (And not implying that anyone here is judgmental in that way!!)

I think that may be why this became such a sensitive topic. For those with sensory issues or people like me (no fashion sense whatsoever! lol) it can be frustrating to feel like they are being judged unfairly because they dress in a way that makes them feel more comfortable - that unfortunately does not necessarily fit the "normal dress code" (for example sweats as opposed to more restricting jeans).

I think it also gets touchy because "Average Joe" has no way of knowing whether "Sweat-pant Bob" wears nothing but sweats or is "just stopping for milk after being at the gym".

That doesn't mean to say "anything goes" in a mall etc. I mean there are kids there so certain "body parts" ought to be kept under wraps etc.!

But since this obviously is a touchy area...... how about we all try to get back to what the original poster was asking about since we have kind of hijacked the thread and gotten way off topic (seems to happen a lot in these forums... wonder why that is? lol). After all - we are online - we can't even see what everyone is wearing anyway!! lol.

Fortune
03-07-11, 07:13 AM
Since I do not love having this sit unanswered:


You brought it up earlier..and I didn't address it. But since you aren't grasping the connection between respecting others and yourself... This is the most relevant and immediate example of this.

This, to me, is a perfect example of having no respect for others...and it does reflect a lack of respect for yourself. What you described is like, Apathy kinda.

No. I already told you in PM, but I want to spell it out here on account of not wanting to leave something like this unanswered:

My question had nothing to do with the connection between respecting yourself and respecting others. You kept saying that wearing clothes means something about feeling respect, and I questioned that connection between clothing and feeling respect. To me it seems more a matter of etiquette, not really reflecting any true feelings behind it (there might be true feelings, might not, but wearing clothing is a facade, not the reality of a person's inner being).

As for the rest: I was talking about going out in public - to a mall. Also to supermarkets, shopping centers, and CostCo. I get sensory overload in those places and need to get everything done as quickly as possible before things go completely south. I was not talking about my entire life. I do in fact care about people, but I do not do well around people, especially crowds. Interacting with people on top of all of the other overload in those places will simply make everything worse (and it has in the past). I would have elaborated if I'd had any idea you would take what I wrote and suggest that I am filled with apathy and have no respect for anyone.

Edit: I did overplay it a bit, but my point is really, that people in public are one more thing on top of everything else.

I have a lot of respect for people, I just don't use the criteria you've elucidated to make decisions about them.

Impromptu_DTour
03-07-11, 07:44 AM
what if i perceive that theres nothing wrong with sweatpants?

or if i came from a society.. or had a view of social conformity, in which this "issue" was irrelevant?

Lord have mercy.. what if i was, mentally disabled? Does the manner in which i dress.. indicate a mental disorder that i should be judged for? Measured up to some definition of what is and is not "normal" to wear?

I dont want you to think that there's something "wrong" with me.. by the way that i dress in public..

But then.. at this point.. whose problem is it?

Your.. or mine?

That

I obviously dont care that im wearing sweats and 1 sock. the issue of respecting your optical environments are something that, i personally dont fathom.. but there's an observation that i need to respect the ideals of what is and is not normal.. and this must measure up to you're idea of this social model

so.. im left to deduce that if i DONT have a problem with what i wear.. and that it DOESNT affect how i view the people around me..

I must be sick. Or have Bi-Polar disorder... or something.

Im abnormal. (ie: to be not normal.. or to conform to social norms..)

Definably .. your norms..

I just want to make sure im following the original issue, Yea?

I_Dtour

peripatetic
03-07-11, 07:54 AM
Respect is just one of the things that matters to me. So is integrity and honor and Love. in fact, I find those words synonymous.

As I said before I'm not looking down my nose all judgy...its merely an observation of THEIR lack of respect.

two things:

1. if you hold that respect is synonymous with integrity, then to say you deem someone lacking in respect is to say you deem the person lacking in integrity. regardless of your protests to the contrary, that IS a judgment about another's character. you also say some things that i can't imagine being anything other than extremely condescending (telling someone not to get her panties in a knot as she'll be *more* cranky, for example). someone disagreeing with you doesn't necessarily mean that the person is incapable of grasping your point, but being dismissive is just unnecessary and does nothing to support your position.

2. what's considered social decorum is the product of cultural values to a large extent as well as socio economic ones, among other things. they are not homogeneous and it's easy to conceive of having a different aesthetic or prioritizing other values to demonstrate respect.

Lunacie
03-07-11, 10:53 AM
Im so glad I bothered to preface my earlier post with my intentions to not offend anyone. Its worked like gangbusters! :rolleyes:
lol
Dont get yer panties in a knot, sister. yer just gonna make yourself more cranky. :p
No one here or anywhere is judging you.
I only elaborated because people asked for further explanation of how or why I thought the way I did. It started as an off the cuff comment. I hasn't actually put all that much careful thought into it till it seemed necessary to. My own words were apparently not sufficient. Abundant...but not sufficient. She asked for something established...so I collected what I could to support my OPINION. And I got lost in a sea of interesting information and shared what I could.

I'm sorry it stirreded you up. No one expects you to waste time or gas. If you read it all you'd see actually wearing sweats to the gym and just stopping at the store were mentioned as no biggie. The issue was wearing them to the mall or other places as if they were every day attire.

Gosh, I just had a funny thought.. can any of you imagine what you'd do if this was the Victorian age or like the 17th century? The corsets and 8 layers of pettycoats and bustle cages and high wigs and dresses you couldn't walk thru a doorway w/o walking sideways?
lol some of you would go stark raving mad! ...and then put in a straight jacket to boot! lol
From the sounds of it it would probably be total torture. (for SPD I mean)

Honestly, I wish I lived back then. Those gowns were so pretty. I'd need maids to help dress me. I'd get to empty ****-pots out 2nd story windows into the street.
I'd get to ride in a carriage.
good times! :D

You can say you don't mean to offend anyone, but the way you've worded your posts IS somewhat offensive. You can say that no one is judging others by the way they dress, but what you've said about respect proves that you are indeed judging others by what they wear.

The part that I bolded in your post is especially offensive, no two ways about it. I'm disagreeing with you - not getting my panties in a knot. It's an Ad Hominem argument to make it look like I don't have a valid point because I'm too emotional. I wasn't posting from a purely emotional point of view, but that is part of my reaction because I am human.

Yeah, the idea of someone with Sensory Processing Disorder having to wear uncomfortable clothing is hugely amusing . . . not. Just as funny as kicking the white cane out of the hand of some blind person just to see them fumble around and walk into things . . . not funny at all.

Lunacie
03-07-11, 05:05 PM
To get back to the thread topic, yes I DO *have* to wear comfortable clothing and shoes. Fortunately I can tolerate well-washed jeans and knit tee-type shirts so I hopefully I don't have strangers looking down their noses at me and thinking I have no respect for myself.

It's been comforting to learn that I'm not the only one with this issue, and that some people are even more sensitive than I am and can only wear very lightweight clothing or very-very soft clothing, or only clothing like sweat pants. I'm probably much more sensitive to light and smells and sound than a lot of people. I do what I can to modify my environment so I'm not experiencing a constant barrage of too intense sensations, and that includes wearing soft comfortable clothing.

APSJ
03-07-11, 08:42 PM
I don't have to wear *comfortable* clothes, but it's difficult for me to transition from one variety of clothing to another, and tend to wear the same things in the same situations all the time.

When it's warm enough I wear shorts and a t-shirt. When it's not, I wear jeans and a t-shirt, and if needed sweatshirt and/or coat.

Work is the exception, where I wear a button down shirt and khaki-type pants, and when required, a suit and tie.

When the weather changes, it's always hard for me to make the transition from jeans to shorts and vice-versa. It just feels so strange....I tend to dress too cold or too warm for a while into the next season as a result.

Fortune
03-07-11, 09:07 PM
I wear the same clothes year round - which is jeans and a shirt. I have nicer clothes for special occasions, however.

I may have already said something like this, but whatever. Jeans are comfortable.

Oh, and bras and tights with spandex in them make me itch furiously.

metzfanaz
03-07-11, 09:31 PM
I wear the same clothes year round - which is jeans and a shirt. I have nicer clothes for special occasions, however.

I may have already said something like this, but whatever. Jeans are comfortable.

Oh, and bras and tights with spandex in them make me itch furiously.

I am the same way without the spandex. Me in spandex wouldn't be a good thing and me in a bra would be just craziness. :p

HighFunctioning
03-07-11, 09:39 PM
I used to be very sensitive to clothing, tags, etc., especially coats and other clothing with certain polymer compositions. I've been able to tolerate jeans for quite some time though. I rarely wear long sleeved shirts (in an area that does see sub zero (deg F) temperatures occasionally).

Fortunately, I work at a place with a lax dress code. I can work in the same clothes that I wear at home, being jeans and a simple shirt (though I usually wear nicer shirts at work).

HighFunctioning
03-07-11, 09:43 PM
Me in spandex wouldn't be a good thing and me in a bra would be just craziness. :p

Imnapl reassured me that it's okay if I post in the Women's forum. I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you wanted to wear a bra either. :D

hypergirl96
03-07-11, 09:54 PM
Hech yeah! Baggy t-shirts, sweatshirts, jeans (worn and washed million times before), swetpants, or basketball shorts. i have to wear sneakers or boots. i hate wearing anything else. and this kinda sucks cause now adays, girls my age dress like theyre going out on a photoshoot.

My excuse? im a tomboy! and everyone accepts it. so it doesnt matter to them or to me. thats my explanation (even though i dont really have to say it outright :rolleyes: ) and nobody really gives it much more thought.

if you act as an individual, talk like an individual, and are kind, people will usually accept you for who you are, and the rest doesnt even matter. i ve never really had to explain (except to my mom and dad). people just acept it and feel no different, no questions asked ;)

even though that probably didnt any where near answer your question.....:o

metzfanaz
03-08-11, 05:55 PM
Imnapl reassured me that it's okay if I post in the Women's forum. I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you wanted to wear a bra either. :D

Well then I guess a trip to Victoria's Secret is in order for this weekend. :p

Fortune
03-08-11, 06:03 PM
Well then I guess a trip to Victoria's Secret is in order for this weekend. :p

Be sure to ask for help. A clerk will spend as much time as it takes with you to ensure you get the right size. I'm sure there'd be no awkwardness at all.

Lunacie
03-08-11, 06:30 PM
Well then I guess a trip to Victoria's Secret is in order for this weekend. :p

I'd love to go with you. Sounds like fun. As long as I don't have to wear the scratchy uncomfortable things myself.

Flibbertigibbet
03-09-11, 02:04 AM
No worries. I have read many other posts by you and you don't strike me as some sort of fashion police arresting people in the malls for OMG daring to be in sweatpants! lol.

I for one wouldn't last 5 minutes in the Victorian age! I hate dresses and hate to admit, comfort tends to trump when it comes to my clothes! lol. I am itching just thinking about corsets! And the parasols... I'd have to have it attached to me or I would lose it in no time! lmao


Thank you. *hugs*
:)

lol @ losing your parasol
I love corset. I have several.
;)


After all - we are online - we can't even see what everyone is wearing anyway!! lol

^GOOD POINT!! :D

But just so you know I'm almost always completely naked except for a pr of scuba goggles and snorkel. :p

Flibbertigibbet
03-09-11, 02:14 AM
as for the rest who addressed me I already said all Im going to say about it. I already asked to "agree to disagree" .

and I wasnt implicating ppl w Sensory Processing Disorder . I was speaking about just normal freakin ppl who just dont give a sh*t to dress decently in public.

so you can all just remove the thorn of of yer butts about it. or don't. whatever you're more comfortable with. :)

its funny I was answering hoolio and hoolio is the only one who understands what I was saying. lol

I'm gonna go wear my corset to bed now. goodnight. :P

Lunacie
03-09-11, 10:35 AM
as for the rest who addressed me I already said all Im going to say about it. I already asked to "agree to disagree" .

and I wasnt implicating ppl w Sensory Processing Disorder . I was speaking about just normal freakin ppl who just dont give a sh*t to dress decently in public.

so you can all just remove the thorn of of yer butts about it. or don't. whatever you're more comfortable with. :)

its funny I was answering hoolio and hoolio is the only one who understands what I was saying. lol

I'm gonna go wear my corset to bed now. goodnight. :P


Hm. I thought it was fairly clear that this thread was all about people with Sensory Processing Disorder, and whether we would rather be comfortable or styling. It wasn't so clear that you were talking about "normal freakin ppl" so of course I thought you were talking about people like me and took it somewhat personally.

The fact that only one person understood what you were saying makes me think that I wasn't the only one who was confused by your rants on how people who wear comfortable clothing don't respect themselves.

Hope you slept well in your corset. I've worn a corset, made it myself and it was actually pretty comfortable. Of course there was no stiff scratchy material or lace trim. But I never slept in it.

Offle
03-09-11, 10:56 AM
Well then I guess a trip to Victoria's Secret is in order for this weekend. :p

Enjoy their ice cold hands and long pointy finger nails.

Lunacie
03-09-11, 11:05 AM
Enjoy their ice cold hands and long pointy finger nails.

*shudders and grimaces*

metzfanaz
03-09-11, 03:12 PM
Enjoy their ice cold hands and long pointy finger nails.

That's getting me all the more excited. :p

Actually, I think I can put on my own bra. Never tried it but it doesn't look that bad. Been able to take them off with one hand so I got mad skillz. :)

metzfanaz
03-09-11, 03:15 PM
Be sure to ask for help. A clerk will spend as much time as it takes with you to ensure you get the right size. I'm sure there'd be no awkwardness at all.

Will do. Might even bring the camera along as this would be a photographic moment. Granted they'd be NSFW but hey, it'd be just between me and who ever hacks my computer.

I'd love to go with you. Sounds like fun. As long as I don't have to wear the scratchy uncomfortable things myself.

Cool. Then I can have someone to give me tips to make sure I pick the right colors to go with my skin tone. I want something sassy but not slutty.

Lunacie
03-09-11, 03:30 PM
Will do. Might even bring the camera along as this would be a photographic moment. Granted they'd be NSFW but hey, it'd be just between me and who ever hacks my computer.



Cool. Then I can have someone to give me tips to make sure I pick the right colors to go with my skin tone. I want something sassy but not slutty.

I thought everything at Victoria's Secret was slutty? Maybe you need the explain what you think the difference is between sassy and slutty?

metzfanaz
03-09-11, 03:35 PM
I thought everything at Victoria's Secret was slutty? Maybe you need the explain what you think the difference is between sassy and slutty?

Nope, I am thinking more of a covered nightgown instead of a see through teddy kind of deal. Want to leave something to the imagination. Something silky. :p

I guess sassy and slutty would be the same thing, I can't think of a difference. Might be time to go to wikipedia to look up both words....

Or maybe I can go with that whole PINK look that the girls are wearing these days, no idea what it stands for but those clothes look comfy...

Lunacie
03-09-11, 03:39 PM
Nope, I am thinking more of a covered nightgown instead of a see through teddy kind of deal. Want to leave something to the imagination. Something silky. :p

I guess sassy and slutty would be the same thing, I can't think of a difference. Might be time to go to wikipedia to look up both words....

Or maybe I can go with that whole PINK look that the girls are wearing these days, no idea what it stands for but those clothes look comfy...

Just when I thought we were so far off topic that this would be moved to Chit Chat, you bring it back to being comfy. You sneaky dog. ;)

metzfanaz
03-09-11, 03:43 PM
Just when I thought we were so far off topic that this would be moved to Chit Chat, you bring it back to being comfy. You sneaky dog. ;)

I was actually more worried about everybody thinking I'm now a crossdresser. LOL Actually, I think they still might.

Actually, womens clothes do look more comfy then men's clothes, you get all those fancy materials and a nice selection. :)

Lunacie
03-09-11, 04:36 PM
I was actually more worried about everybody thinking I'm now a crossdresser. LOL Actually, I think they still might.

Actually, womens clothes do look more comfy then men's clothes, you get all those fancy materials and a nice selection. :)

Fancy materials are usually uncomfortable for me.

Although I don't know how men wear neckties. I would feel like I was being strangled all the time. Can't stand high necked t-shirts or choker type necklaces.

metzfanaz
03-09-11, 05:49 PM
Fancy materials are usually uncomfortable for me.

Although I don't know how men wear neckties. I would feel like I was being strangled all the time. Can't stand high necked t-shirts or choker type necklaces.

Ties are awful, if I wear one I have to keep it on loose and one I don't have to wear anymore it comes off and the top buttons get undone.

I hear ya on the high necked t-shirts but the one I hate the most is turtle neck sweaters or shirts. I feel like I'm being strangeld in those for sure.

Lunacie
03-09-11, 06:05 PM
Ties are awful, if I wear one I have to keep it on loose and one I don't have to wear anymore it comes off and the top buttons get undone.

I hear ya on the high necked t-shirts but the one I hate the most is turtle neck sweaters or shirts. I feel like I'm being strangeld in those for sure.

It's been so long since I've worn a mock turtleneck that I'd forgotten all about them. Thanks for the memory ... not. :rolleyes:

metzfanaz
03-09-11, 08:33 PM
It's been so long since I've worn a mock turtleneck that I'd forgotten all about them. Thanks for the memory ... not. :rolleyes:

No problem. :)

I remember seeing some of the old disco leasure suits from back in the day with the huge collars, those looked hella uncomfy. Especially while dancing.

Lunacie
03-09-11, 08:35 PM
No problem. :)

I remember seeing some of the old disco leasure suits from back in the day with the huge collars, those looked hella uncomfy. Especially while dancing.

They were polyester - so they were uncomfortable to start with. Not that I ever wore one, but my ex did.

sir_taps_alot
03-09-11, 08:41 PM
I've always worn clothes so big..i could gain or lose 10 or more pounds and my clothes would still fit me...I only recently started taking meds for adhd and suddenly i can wear clothes that fit me

jeninok
03-09-11, 10:26 PM
I attended a dinner and talent contest at a country club last week and you know what I wore? It sure wasn't panty hose and pointy-toed high-heeled shoes. I wore my best dark blue jeans, my croc-type shoes, and a very nice new knit/tee top with silver jewelry. Not as dressy as some, but I wasn't distracted by itching or scratching that made me cranky. I was able to enjoy the evening without looking like a slob. If someone wanted to judge me as lacking self esteem or respect for myself or the venue, that's on them. They're not living with Sensory Processing Disorder, eh?


I think your outfit sounds wonderful and perfectly fine for anything but the dressiest occasions. I love my crocs and wear them daily spring through fall.

I cant stand tight itchy synthetic blend clothes. But I try to wear things that are still comfortable and look decent on me.

At our house we call this issue putting on real pants.

I as my own personal standard put on real pants to run to the store or fast food or the mall or whatever. I'm not talking about getting dressed up here, I'm just switching pajama pants for stretchy jeans and fuzzy boots.


There are also different types of sweats. :D
I have some really cute Yoga type pants are a basic black and totally as comfortable as my grungy paint stained sweats with the elastic around the bottom. I wear the Yoga pants in public without worry, but would never leave the house in the regular sweats.

If you follow Flylady one of her most basic principles is getting dressed to your shoes, because when we are fully dressed and ready for the day our whole attitude changes. Wearing Pajamas and slippers to class doesn't exactly scream that you are there to learn and put effort into your education.

Lunacie
03-10-11, 10:31 AM
I think your outfit sounds wonderful and perfectly fine for anything but the dressiest occasions. I love my crocs and wear them daily spring through fall.

I cant stand tight itchy synthetic blend clothes. But I try to wear things that are still comfortable and look decent on me.

At our house we call this issue putting on real pants.

I as my own personal standard put on real pants to run to the store or fast food or the mall or whatever. I'm not talking about getting dressed up here, I'm just switching pajama pants for stretchy jeans and fuzzy boots.


There are also different types of sweats. :D
I have some really cute Yoga type pants are a basic black and totally as comfortable as my grungy paint stained sweats with the elastic around the bottom. I wear the Yoga pants in public without worry, but would never leave the house in the regular sweats.

If you follow Flylady one of her most basic principles is getting dressed to your shoes, because when we are fully dressed and ready for the day our whole attitude changes. Wearing Pajamas and slippers to class doesn't exactly scream that you are there to learn and put effort into your education.

Thank you. I wasn't the only one at the country club dinner that was wearing jeans and a nice top - but she may not have been a member either. ;)

There are people who have a whole attitude about crocs that I really don't understand. If they'd spent their whole life kicking off their shoes every time they sat down because they were so uncomfortable, maybe they'd understand why I was so thrilled to find that crocs are comfortable for me.

When I was severely clinically depressed (before the doctor recognized it and offered me any meds) I spent days slumping around the house in a nightgown and mumu and slippers. When I moved in with my daughter and began helping with the kids I found it was a good idea to get dressed first thing in the morning because I didn't know what I'd end up doing during the day. Hard enough getting two kids ready to go to the park or the grocery store or the mall without having to get myself ready at the same time.

And since I gave up carrying a purse at least 3 decades ago (back problems) I always put on jeans because I can put my billfold in one pocket and my cell phone in another - that way I don't have to hunt around because I can't remember where I laid the phone down. Comfortable as sweat pants are - they don't usually have any pockets. And if they shrink in the wash they show my cellulite way more than jeans do. But there are people who look fine in sweats and pajama pants and I don't usually pay that much attention to how other people are dressed anyway.

metzfanaz
03-12-11, 11:55 PM
I actually had experienced this on Friday but not with tight clothes but with a shorter then I like t-shirt.

The back story is I bought a shirt a couple years ago that I love to death. It shrank a little so I put it away, but lately I've shrank a little so I figured I caught up a little. Well, I put it on and it fit nicely but was a little shorter then the shirt that I customarily wear but I figured it wouldn't be that big of a deal.

Boy was I wrong. I was so self conscience of this shirt being too short that I spent all day at my desk at work for the most part. Didn't want to reach over my head for anything on a top shelf so I left that for when everybody else went home (I work til 7 and everyone else leaves at 3) and just felt a little off all day long.

So as much as tight clothes don't bother me, ill fitting ones tend to do. I guess that would be my comfy clothes in that they have to cover the parts of my body that I want covered.

Imnapl
03-14-11, 12:34 AM
I don't mind soft cotton underwear, but I hate anything silky or lacy or really tight, pretty much any kind of sexy underwear. Unfortunately I've had a very difficult time making my last couple of boyfriends understand that.Has your boyfriend seen the movie Bridget Jones' Diary? Big girl panties can be sexy. ;)

Offle
04-08-11, 08:31 PM
Boy was I wrong. I was so self conscience of this shirt being too short that I spent all day at my desk at work for the most part. Didn't want to reach over my head for anything on a top shelf so I left that for when everybody else went home (I work til 7 and everyone else leaves at 3) and just felt a little off all day long.

So as much as tight clothes don't bother me, ill fitting ones tend to do. I guess that would be my comfy clothes in that they have to cover the parts of my body that I want covered.

That's why no one else ever does my laundry but me. I've had so many shirts shrunk by people well meaning people who don't understand that warm water and dryers shrink shirts that I've just prohibited anyone but myself and my mother from doing it.

I hate shirts that are even just a little bit too short. I will wear a shirt that reaches down to my knees before I will wear a short one. In short shirts I spend all day pulling and tugging on them hoping a couple more centimeters or inches of magical miracle fabric will grow because the shirts just feel so wrong on me.

That's also why if I'm unsure about a shirt when I leave in the morning I'll pack an extra t-shirt in my back pack just in case.

Rebelyell
04-08-11, 09:08 PM
I love sweats an a t shirt or comfortable fitting jeans and t shirts.I have work uniforms,the damn shirts shrunk like 3 inches and I didnt even wash them in hot water.I gotta keep pulling it down all day,the long sleeve 1s I roll up,got all stretched out keep falling down when I roll em up.Im so fed up Im ready to use my work shirts as wash rags:(

Offle
04-08-11, 09:13 PM
I hate uniforms. Especially school uniforms. I was traumatized by my first elementary school's uniform. Yellow plaid should be illegal, so should required blouses made of itchy fabric and knee shocks.

Lunacie
04-08-11, 09:13 PM
I love sweats an a t shirt or comfortable fitting jeans and t shirts.I have work uniforms,the damn shirts shrunk like 3 inches and I didnt even wash them in hot water.I gotta keep pulling it down all day,the long sleeve 1s I roll up,got all stretched out keep falling down when I roll em up.Im so fed up Im ready to use my work shirts as wash rags:(


If you bought them and you still have the receipt you could take them back to the store.
If the company provides them, tell your supervisor they shrunk and you need some bigger ones.

Rebelyell
04-08-11, 09:30 PM
I like to get dressed up and look gq and chic but not having any 1 too go out w tonite its kind of a mute point.Nothing like a sweet pair of dockers w a nice button down designer shirt or golf shirt.

Offle
04-08-11, 09:39 PM
I like to get dressed up and look gq and chic but not having any 1 too go out w tonite its kind of a mute point.Nothing like a sweet pair of dockers w a nice button down designer shirt or golf shirt.

I'll get all dressed up for no reason and just hang out around the house. Some days I'm just in the mood to look pretty. It always weirds my brother out though because he'll be convinced that I'm planning on sneaking out to see my friends or a guy, even though I don't need to sneak out to do either of those things.

metzfanaz
04-09-11, 12:59 PM
That's also why if I'm unsure about a shirt when I leave in the morning I'll pack an extra t-shirt in my back pack just in case.

I always keep one extra in my car for that reason, I figure that's usually with me so I can just quick grab it.

Rebelyell
04-09-11, 03:28 PM
hEE HEE tell him your going to meet your new gf that'll really weird him out an get him all fired up on ya.Yeah my work iniform is more dickie pants an long or short sleeved shirts w my name and place where I work on them.I'll go out to Long horn,houlihans all dresse dup and bro will be like were only going to so n so.I just like to look and feel like a milllion bucks when i go out.

Joker_Girl
04-12-11, 08:24 PM
As soon as I am home from work and won't be going out anymore I am in pajama pants or sweats and a tee shirt. I always will get t-shirts that are too big for jammies.

I will wear stuff which is loose and soft and comfy in public if given the chance. I will wear pajama pants to the store or convenience store.

I do not care for satiny material pajama pants because they feel weird. Satiny things should only be worn for sexy fun time, and then taken off and sweats and a t-shirt put on, IMO.

I am picky about underwear and socks. I like new socks a lot. I don't like socks that have a big seam over the toe.

I don't like to have a tag poking me.

I got some socks for Christmas that are supposed to be worn in place of house slippers. They are striped and really really soft, almost like fur. I like these socks a lot.

I cannot STAND to wear socks to bed. Also, I HAVE to have either pajama pants, sweats, or shorts on in bed, and a tee shirt or tank top.

Bras are another thing. I used to like underwires but I had a bad experience once where the wire came out of the side of one of the bras and poked me all day long. Now I like sports bras, but I don't like when it is really hot because they make me hot.

I LOVE things that are thermal knit, tee shirt material, or really soft. I got a blanket a while back that is so soft its like fur. I like to curl up in it.

Rebelyell
04-12-11, 10:41 PM
I might as well wear my birthday suit an go au naturale:D

Offle
04-12-11, 10:54 PM
hEE HEE tell him your going to meet your new gf that'll really weird him out an get him all fired up on ya.

I tried this over the weekend. All he said was "At least she can't get you pregnant." I love how much faith he has in me. :rolleyes:

On Topic:
I hate the feeling on grass on my skin. Dry grass, wet grass soft grass, all of it feels really horrible to me. I also hate Bermuda shorts because of the cut off point. The feeling of a hem in that spot is a thousand times worse than sock hems on my toes.

jmale
04-15-11, 09:37 AM
I work in a corporate environment, slacks and polos required. Can wear jeans on fridays.

I never wore jeans until I was in college, and that was only because what else was I going to wear 'downtown' to meet girls. Hated wearing jeans, hate wearing a belt even more.

I am constantly uncomfortable at work. As I type this, I feel the waist line of my jeans irritating me, or the fabric causing discomfort with my boxers.

I've tried different boxers, jeans, etc etc. Nothing helps.

The moment I get home, I change into an undershirt and gym shorts. I still adjust, but it's not as uncomfortable.

I never knew where to go to get help for it, and i've tried to tell myself just to 'ignore it', but then it consumes my mind until I adjust, even thought it solves nothing.

Hopefully my doctor will be able to help with this. Is there even treatment for this? Do the ADHD medications help?

jmale
04-15-11, 09:38 AM
As soon as I am home from work and won't be going out anymore I am in pajama pants or sweats and a tee shirt. I always will get t-shirts that are too big for jammies.

I will wear stuff which is loose and soft and comfy in public if given the chance. I will wear pajama pants to the store or convenience store.

I do not care for satiny material pajama pants because they feel weird. Satiny things should only be worn for sexy fun time, and then taken off and sweats and a t-shirt put on, IMO.

I am picky about underwear and socks. I like new socks a lot. I don't like socks that have a big seam over the toe.

I don't like to have a tag poking me.

I got some socks for Christmas that are supposed to be worn in place of house slippers. They are striped and really really soft, almost like fur. I like these socks a lot.

I cannot STAND to wear socks to bed. Also, I HAVE to have either pajama pants, sweats, or shorts on in bed, and a tee shirt or tank top.

Bras are another thing. I used to like underwires but I had a bad experience once where the wire came out of the side of one of the bras and poked me all day long. Now I like sports bras, but I don't like when it is really hot because they make me hot.

I LOVE things that are thermal knit, tee shirt material, or really soft. I got a blanket a while back that is so soft its like fur. I like to curl up in it.

Wow, aside from the bras this is me! Good to see i'm not the only one..

StarlaDear
05-11-11, 06:48 PM
YES!!! I'm so glad you mentioned this :)

I am only this way when I take my adderall, but I take it almost every day. I can't stand tight clothes, I live in cut off sweat pants and a light t-shirt and I HAVE to get my bangs off my face.

This has caused some problems with my long term boyfriend, allthough appearance isn't everything, I often have to explain to him that yes I DO care about my appearance and I like to dress nicely but sometimes I just have to be comfortable. Sometimes all he sees me in are my lounge clothes!

silivrentoliel
03-20-12, 01:26 PM
I get very claustrophobic in certain clothes but not in others, and I immediately change out my scrubs (which aren't tight- in fact they are too big!) for pjs and a tshirt or something when I get home... I often freak about my choker too, which is very stretchy and not tight at all, but I often freak out and have to take it off before I go mad. Never have figured that one out.

Flory
03-20-12, 02:14 PM
i have to wear mostly hoodies and jeans/skirt or tshirts i cant be dealing with buttons uncomfortable fabrics such as wool, stuff that rides up that i have to adjust all the time etc, i chop labels out of my clothes to, very oversensitive to touch

jiffyPOP
04-15-12, 11:57 PM
This thread is really quite amazing. Yes, I also need conformable clothing. :thankyou:

I can not wear tight or uncomfortable clothing whatsoever. I will be distracted all day and generally "botherd".

I need comfy clothing to sleep in. Or it will keep me up all night.

Raven01
05-06-12, 08:23 PM
Thanks for this discussion. I have always wondered why I can't wear tight cloths. My shirts and Tshirts need to be a size larger than normal. When I get home I quickly discard my underpants in favour of loose fitting tshirt and pants.
I also have trouble with fabrics, I manage natural fabrics like cotton fine but have trouble with synthetics and rough fibres close to my skin. I have a lot of trouble finding socks. I recently found some pure alpaca socks which I really like.
I have always thought I was a bit odd, but the sensory sensitivity with ADD explanation makes sence.

Headroom
06-10-15, 07:20 PM
A sentence by someone about itchy clothes made me think that as a child I frequently felt that many fabrics were very itchy. I remember arguing often about it with parents absolutely abhorrent about wearing a particular "itchy" shirt.
Always searching for a way out of what causes this forum to exist, at some point in my recent past I stopped drinking all together for a few months. In about a week I started feeling very itchy. That feeling passed in a few days, but it made me realize that I haven't felt itchy for light-years since my childhood. A little research uncovered that was alcohol receptor saturation, which stopped itchiness when I grew up.

I am not here to promote drinking, but nevertheless... :)

4rch0n4n6313
07-28-15, 11:12 PM
You know I never really thought about it in terms of ADD, I always just dealt with it. I did notice that I am usually the only one obsessively adjusting my clothing...but I thought it was more of a weight issue than anything.

I did buy some nice oversized business slacks and a belt, and that seemed to help a great deal. However shirts are another story altogether.

loverainbow
12-30-15, 07:36 PM
I abhor clothes. In my room, which I won't leave unless I have to go to work, I wear only underwears for hygiene reason and so my boops won't flop around. Can't stand jewellery, watch as well; I can feel it weighing me down. I love the feeling of fabrics, just not on me.