ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community  

Go Back   ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community > Blogs > My Haunted Mind
Register Blogs FAQ Chat Members List Calendar Donate Gallery Arcade Mark Forums Read

IN my life I have learned every possible way to go around an obstacle without getting past it at all. I felt like Sisyphus, pushing that boulder up the tall mountain in hell, for it to only turn around and roll back down again.

I have felt like a vampire, a ghost, a ghoul, a monster, and a dead person at times.

I've questioned also why my conscience must be so sensitive that I feel like a monster simply because I get angry a lot and I argue a lot.

I've questioned my chronic disregard of what other people think in favor of what is good or convenient to me at the time.

I've spent years troubled about why my mother never loved me enough to leave me feeling secure and loved. She loves me, but it's never enough. I feel like a vampire.

I've questioned my own worth as a person when potential friend after potential friend has reacted negatively towards me because of something that I couldn't really accept because it seemed so hateful or bigoted or intolerant. Similarly I could never understand why my friends never treated me like a best friend when I loved them so much.

I've questioned my femininity when I could never manage to attract a good boyfriend who would be loyal to me. I could never understand why loyalty was not a given, in a relationship.

I've questioned my rights to expect fair treatment from my loved ones, when I don't share an equal amount of the work. I've accepted any treatment, without having the ability to leave any situation. I was grateful for what I got, and never was beaten.

I named my blog "My Haunted Mind" because I picture myself as a woman sitting in a chair and she has a haunted mansion for a head. The haunted mansion is my mind, all these years haunted by something I could never define yet was barely perceptible all around me and never suspected within me.
Rate this Entry

music I love, part 1

Posted 05-08-15 at 03:01 PM by icarusinflames
I've been contemplating suicide,
But it really doesn't suit my style,
So I think I'll just act bored instead
And contain the blood I would've shed

-- Rowland S. Howard "Shivers"

Love this man. Love love love. I hope I still love him after my psychiatric medication-ing happens. so silly to worry. Rowland S. Howard is pure goodness.

[url]https://
Facebook Twitter Submit "music I love, part 1" to Digg Submit "music I love, part 1" to del.icio.us Submit "music I love, part 1" to StumbleUpon Submit "music I love, part 1" to Google
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 850 Comments 0 Email Blog Entry
« Prev     Main     Next »
Total Comments 0

Comments

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:37 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) 2003 - 2015 ADD Forums