Another Dip: A Flamingo Mind

Another dip all down
against some pile where
urgency is buried with extra
copies of something copies
of nothing sometimes but
piles always another

dip all down to the fear and pressure
how much is me how much
pie on the chart what
percentage of the loss and the
shame what percentage the pain
what is the whole and is part a trip

all down to the science and the balance
down to the "caught" and shame
down to the deep stinging potential
of me to the creative possibilities
and what could have been
what could be if I was just able to get

down to the road or the stream that
carries me back or forward to a good day
of sorting and finding and remembering I
am human and complex and brain-strange
in every way that works and doesn't

and the fret and block is a dance on one
restless leg of collapse - a flamingo painted
wild, but feather-worn
worn down and wanting
trying to be strong
hoping that second leg
will right me if it is up for it.