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Part 2

Posted 11-24-09 at 01:59 AM by ginniebean
Finding a group of people with ADHD has been fantastic and has given me insights I doubt I could get anywhere else, plus what a truly great bunch of people. At the same time, I have spent all sorts of time searching the web, reading research, webpages, coach blogs, etc.. There's just tons of information that I was swimming in. Several months ago I started to notice that often I'd walk away from a site on the net, or a post feeling demoralized. I couln't articulate why, but it did make me curious.

I can't stand when I can't quite put my finger on something that bothers me and so I've spent time off and on trying to discover the reason for the sense of unease that I keep having. There became a recognizable pattern of various statements on almost every website offering 'help' and within these statements I have recognized embedded messages/narratives. I wondered at first whether I was being too sensitive, or if the feelings surrounding what I was feeling were legitimate. I'd honestly like some feedback on this.

The messages I keep getting on a frequent basis are that people with ADHD are:

  • prone to making excuses.
  • Irresponsible.
  • lacking in self awareness.
  • lacking empathy.
  • in need of learning skills to help us pass effectively.
  • in need of being more normal.
  • In need of a great deal of assistance in order to achieve this more normal.
    And finally, that as we are we are unacceptable.

There are probably more that I haven't listed but a lot fall pretty much squarely in those categories. These are the messages as I received them, and I am guessing an argument could be made that my perception is faulty but the consistency and frequency of the messages have put up a red flag and ignoring it would do me a disservice.

I've looked at each of these messages in order to see why they caused such a sense of unease and realised that they seem to be working in opposition to my desire for self acceptance and even healthy self love. I also noticed that I'd get conflicting messages, in the research I'd read I was discovering the neurological and genetic basis for ADHD and on other sites messages of blame, judgement, and stereotyping.

I'll be more specific about this conflict. Researcher messages were that ADHD is a neurological and genetic disorder that impairs from mild to severe, Then there are the messages from those who say they can help a great deal that appeared to say that ADHD is more of an inconvenience that can be overcome as long as I am willing to make the right kind of efforts to retrain.

A connundrum.... to be continued

(same bat time.. same bat channel)
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