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Jealousy

Posted 02-20-08 at 10:46 PM by mireeee
Let me start by saying that I am a very grateful person. But sometimes, I just can't help to imagine what my life would be like if I didn't have this whole LD thing in my way.

I hate looking at other students while they study, especially for hours at a time. I envy all my friends who can just write a paper.

It's as though I work at least twice as hard, but get less credit than other students. I have to try harder at most things, which I guess can almost be seen as a blessing.

Sure I have the ability to work extra hard, but I have to put that energy towards being ablet o actually focus on something, instead of using it elsewhere.

I know I am not stupid, ugly, or a bad person, but I still feel inferior. I feel left out. Why do I have to try extra hard to do what others can do naturally.

I don't want to be Ms. Self Pity, but sometimes I just have to think of how nice it must be to be free of what ties me down. And those who don't have AD/HD or other issues will never know. Just as I dont have the ability to focus as well (or sometimes at all), they don't have the ability to understand what it is like to do this.

I wish I could be free of my medications. Wake up in the morning, and not have to ask myself as I walk out the door "did I take them?" And to have to hide the fact that you take them, because I am afraid of my peer's reactions...
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  1. Old
    meadd823's Avatar
    I wouldn't call this self pity I would call this perfectly normal. I think it is normal to get frustrated with our differences some times, okay I hope it is normal because I get tired of it too. Taking medication can be a pain tooo.

    These days it is usually better for young people if their peers don't know they are on medications. If you take stimulants some people will be bugging you for some - who wants to bother with that mess. I am pretty up beat but can relate to every thing you wrote here.
    Posted 02-26-08 at 05:54 AM by meadd823 meadd823 is offline
  2. Old
    chickatty's Avatar
    YOU ARE SO LUCKY! What if -- like me and many of the older members here -- you grew up and went to school in a time when there wasn't even such a term as ADHD? And there was no medication? All through school my report cards said "Does not pay attention." "Lazy." "Could be a good student if she would apply herself." Do you have any idea what THAT does to your self image?

    Somehow I made it through college and graduate school, but I can't help but think longingly about how much easier it would have been and how much more succesful I would have been if I'd had the advantages of knowing what was going on in my brain and some medication to help.

    I certainly relate to your frustration, but be glad you're young now and not forty years ago. THE GLASS IS HALF FULL -- MAYBE MORE!
    Posted 04-14-08 at 08:37 AM by chickatty chickatty is offline
 
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