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Perception Vs. Reality

Posted 07-12-08 at 04:55 PM by houts
[Posted from my blog:]

I've always felt 'different' than other people. Then again, don't we all? However, in my mind, I could not justify certain actions that I saw others would. For example, I refused to sit quietly in any setting. Whether it was in a church, school, or social function, my urge to socialize was inherent from the beginning. This can be easily chalked up to the hyperactivity as well as the inability to function normally within mainstream societies rules.

And, you would be right...IF it wasn't for the fact that I was aware of it.

I knew I shouldn't be fiddling around in church, squirming in the seats, looking for something to read in the Psalm book, or trying to see what was going on around me.
I was, as other ADD/ADHD children/adults, are. Or am I being too quick to presume this?
Yet, it was my keen insight on my introspective behavior that has enabled me to function "in and out" (as I call it), these social functions.

What do I mean when I say "in and out?"

This is my own terminology explaining what I perceive from reality.
Bear with me...

Whenever I speak with someone that I am highly engrossed in conversation, I tend to over analyze everything. I will start to read the body behavior with the tone of voice and assess what was verbalized to derive meaning.
Sounds a bit complex, huh? It really isn't.
We all do it in everyday form of communication. But I tend to do it more.
This is where the common interruption an ADD individual does during conversation.
We have already done the work upstairs and know where you are going.

So, we want to stop you there. We know primarily what is going to be said-let's just save the time...

I call it a misfiring in the brain. However I leave this real diagnosis to the expert in the field. This my best way to explain my short, quick nature.

Now, after diagnosing all this, I tend to react rather quickly (to save time of course) without choosing alternatives for a response. My pre-calculated answer has been ready to be punched and handed in. No need for delay...

This is where the reality of the situation comes into play. My responses, canned or not, do not have the "PC" filter behind them. I am not racist, sexist, or demeaning in any form, but my thoughts tend to speak for themselves rather than my brain.

This short-sided nature has its benefits and consequences. However that is for another time.
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