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Perspective – is a choice not a predetermination

Posted 08-28-08 at 08:03 AM by meadd823
Updated 04-26-10 at 02:59 AM by meadd823
Some times I feel like because I chose to see the positive with the negative people think my life is some how not hard. My challenges are not what theirs are or perhaps my ADD isn’t as bad as theirs. I keep trying to explain perspective is a choice not a predetermination – we may be born with a set point in weight, temperament and even mood however to the best of my knowledge perspective is still a choice.

The first time I heard the saying a man is about as happy as he makes up his mind to be – Abraham Lincoln. It sounded like a foreign concept I began thinking that accomplishments or lack of struggling determined happiness. As a grew older I understood happy people had hard times too so then I concluded that it must be an ability they were born with like a good singing voice. One day in the mist of insanity I came across the concept of positive negative neutral. I decided every thing came with these three elements, including every situation . . . This has been put through some pretty stringent testing over the last decade.

How does one get from being the most negative person in the world so someone who borders on Pollyanna? I trained myself to see the positive of negative situations. I still get bummed out and I still get frustrated but I simply don’t live there every minute of every day



The best example I have is portions of a typical day.

I am rained out again this month we have been in a drought all summer but this one month I am running behind on my bills and I get rained out. What does the world have against me.

Although I have been rained out I have saved on my watering bill. They are not equalvent but the decrease in water usage should make up for some of the money I miss due to the rain . Besides without rain there is no water and a million dollars won’t do a man any good if he is dying of thirst and there is no water to buy.


Because I have been rained out on the same month I chose to take off a week and have some dental work done I won’t have the money to make my bills. I am already behind because I chose to go to a conference instead of pay a few things so I started out behind. This is what I get for thinking I can make it up. Gary has offered to help me but I shouldn’t have to have his help.

I do have better teeth now even though things were scheduled a bit close together, I chose to go to the conference because I thought was a once in a life time chance and I was right. I was scared but I didn’t let the fear make the decision for me. I got to see Minneapolis and I made friends.


I got to met Dr., Hallowell and Ratey. I got to meet some of the members on ADDF in person. One of the smartest people I have even met said I was a smart person and genuinely meant it – hey money can’t buy me that. I have been behind for lesser reasons and I should be grateful I have a husband that cares and is willing to help me out even though he didn’t help me in.





I am trying this and Ferocious walks over and head butts me gently , then promptly take my mouse hostage – how I see her chose to perceive her interruption will determine how I react

Do I see my cat as selfish and uncaring I have been fiddling with this idea for three days and I finally get a chance to write it down and here she comes to mess with me. Do I pick her up and pitch her off my desk so I can finish this before I have to get ready for work

Or

Do I perceive her as a welcome break from my own thoughts . Do I remember the early days when she was so afraid of me she would hide her face ever time I looked at her and now she trust me so much she will even go so far as to take my mouse hostage in exchange for some kitty cat junk food. Do I give her just a moment of my attention realizing that I have had this idea for three days I even have a basic out line written down on paper so I don’t forget it . . Ferocious spent the first three or four month of her life never interacting with humans she doesn’t care if any one else on earth pays attention to her matter of fact she would prefer they didn’t. I am the only one she trust enough to take their computer mouse hostage. It is game we play because she knows she is more important to me than any thing on a computer screen.

How I perceive her greatly effects how I react – some times I do begin to feel frustrated until I remember that fearful kitten that bit me then hid her face in expectation of retaliation . . . some times she will put her teeth on a tender part of my hand to see if I trust her – then she rolls over on her back exposing her under belly as a show that she trust me.




My first response is often that my first response – the second is an alternate perspective I have trained my self to see I can change my reality any time I want by simply changing my perception of it. That chosen perception determines how I treat my cat, my husband, and in this case determined whether or not I had friends . . . . .

I am able to see both the positive negative and neutral of my dyslexia, husband, children and ADD. . .This behavior modification has been tested by mechanical break downs, house fires and the death of a fiancée. I see the negative just like every one else I have chosen to learn to see beyond it.

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Comments

  1. Old
    ggal's Avatar
    Thanks.

    It is a choice.

    Damned choices!!
    Posted 08-28-08 at 10:24 AM by ggal ggal is offline
  2. Old
    meadd823's Avatar
    Quote:
    Damned choices!!
    LAMO Choices can be both a good thing and a bad . . .
    Posted 09-01-08 at 12:00 AM by meadd823 meadd823 is offline
  3. Old
    spacemania's Avatar
    I love your pics you posted.
    Posted 09-02-08 at 08:32 AM by spacemania spacemania is offline
  4. Old
    meadd823's Avatar
    Thank you
    Posted 10-04-08 at 06:44 AM by meadd823 meadd823 is offline
  5. Old
    Black Razor's Avatar
    You should check out The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People and Fish!: A Business Fable. Both are excellent in regards to what your talking about. The 7 Habits by Steven Covey is excellent in regards to talking about choice, but more importantly about learning to focus on the things that we have influence or domain over, as opposed to things which are outside our sphere of influence. Fish! in particular is an amazing short story which talks about things such as Toxic Energy and the ability to choose a response and attitude to ANY situation. Both books would help deepen your own understanding of the exact mindset your describing.

    Cool post. It's very inspiring to see other people with ADD/ADHD to see the neuroscience behind our actions in play. I always think about Pavlov's dog experiments in which he proved a response can be linked to a stimulus, and therefore as human beings we can learn to link a different response to any stimulus at will. Again, great post.
    Posted 10-28-08 at 11:38 PM by Black Razor Black Razor is offline
  6. Old
    meadd823's Avatar
    I have read Steven Covey okay I remember a decent part of it any way. Fish I will have to check out that one.

    I have a mixed bag of diverse beliefs - I don't think they would mix in the average individual but they fit me fine.

    I do believe I have a choice in our perception and that in turn changes my world in a sense.

    Thank you for your insights
    Posted 11-03-08 at 12:44 PM by meadd823 meadd823 is offline
 
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