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Ramblings from a very disturbed mind
Rambling about my life I have a tendency to ramble. The story about my everyday life.
Old

I'm back

Posted 08-01-09 at 12:59 PM by Ethereal (The Unbearable Heaviness of Being)
I abandoned this blog ages ago, and I'm not sure I'll stick around- but for now, I need a place to rant, why not do it here?

A lot has happened since my last post. I've met the love of my life, experienced true happiness for a while- then it all fell apart. I started abusing Ritalin again, and it's damaged a relationship that was so good, maybe beyond repair. Falling in love have also triggered a behaviour that makes it obvious that the Borderline diagnosis I got when I was 19, and...
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Old

The queen is not dead, after all

Posted 04-24-08 at 06:13 AM by Ethereal (The Unbearable Heaviness of Being)
Not the drama queen, anyway. Why do I always halways have to make a big deal about anything? I was walking back from the grocery store yesterday, and suddenly, I fell down, in the middle of the road. I had seizures, it was so scary. Then I became unconcius, and woke up in an ambulanceI I was rushed to the hospital, and they ran a bunch of tests, and decided that is was probably just lack of sleep and food that had caused it. They forced me to stay there overnight, I was released 4 hours ago. ...
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Old

Back from the (near)dead

Posted 04-15-08 at 08:18 AM by Ethereal (The Unbearable Heaviness of Being)
I grew up as an only child (after having a child like me, who'd want more?), but always had pets- they became replecements for siblings. When I had a rough time growing up (and that was often), I turned to my pets for comfort. When everyone else let me down, my pets where always there for me. So, as a result, I have closer relationship with animals than most people, and my cat is extremely important to me, I love her so much. Last week, she started getting sick, but it wasn't until Sunday night...
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Old

It's just getting worse

Posted 04-12-08 at 03:32 PM by Ethereal (The Unbearable Heaviness of Being)
I gave in and took some of that crappy drug that can make me gain weight, it's supposed to have an immediate effect in addition to a long term one if you take it daily, and I figured taking it one day wouldn't make me gain weight. It might not, but it didn't do anything else for me either. After crying for hours, not being able to do anything, I took one of my sleeping pills to calm me down. I'm running out of them, and I won't get more in at least a week, so I can look forward to 5-6 days of hell...
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Dilemma

Posted 04-11-08 at 02:22 PM by Ethereal (The Unbearable Heaviness of Being)
I've been struggling, as you already know if you've read my previous post. I went to the doctor a few days ago and got a prescription for a drug that would help with the terrible "depression attacks", where I keep crying and crying for hours, and have suicdial thoughts. But I'm not, I repeat not, suicidal, it's only thoughts. I've been suicidal several times before, I know how that feels, and that's not how I feel now.

Anyway, my doctor prescribed me Seroquel, and anti-psychotic....
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