I've been contemplating suicide,
But it really doesn't suit my style,
So I think I'll just act bored instead
And contain the blood I would've shed

-- Rowland S. Howard "Shivers"

Love this man. Love love love. I hope I still love him after my psychiatric medication-ing happens. so silly to worry. Rowland S. Howard is pure goodness.

[url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JcbeM-DMUc[/url]

[IMG]http://www.disunplugged.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/DL-2012-04-256.jpg[/IMG]

How much it troubled me when I was a teenager and I had to make the annual trip to Disneyland with my family. I remember enjoying it when I was a small child so why was I feeling so much unhappiness now?

There was a sign that you would see, I believe over the main entrance that said "The Happiest Place in the World!" and I would look at it and just feel that sinking feeling...

I heard about a research study that will stimulate the vagus nerve to see if it helps ADHD children improve in specific areas such as attention, moods, etc. There was already one completed study with such positive results that evidently some of the U.S. parents in that are ordering the device (to own it and continue to use it on their children) from Canada.

I'm seriously contemplating this. I can identify already with the vagus nerve by studying how it runs through the brain...

When I was very young, perhaps 6 or 7 and was first realizing my condition and situation in life, I remember enjoying the collection of Science books in the hall outside my bedroom door. One book was about mammals, and there was a picture in the book that really troubled me. It was of the the baby rhesus monkey with his wire frame mother.

I'd be tempted to include the video of this experiment but it's actually too heart breaking. The little baby monkey has a wire frame mother-object...

I've been trapped, utterly trapped for so long. I sometimes feel like a character from a Charles Dickens book (Great Expectations), Miss Havishman who is a very ancient lady wearing a decaying wedding dress all the time, and trapped in her dusty strange mansion. She was jilted on the altar years and years past, but she can't get over it. Nothing has changed. Her wedding feast is still on the table, but all in dust and worms and decay. She flits about her strange cavernous hall, behaving erratically,...