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Slipping back down the rabbit hole...

Posted 03-11-10 at 05:43 AM by carped1em (Mission Log: Major Tom, present location coordinates...unknown)
Today was a pretty decent day all in all. It's getting late and my speed is long since gone.

I ended up eating only pasta, toast with peanut butter and bananas and green jello. I'm out of protein powder and i'm out of any high calorie food except peanut butter and I've had my fill thanks.

I'm trying to go to sleep before 3am (hhahahahha like that'll actually happen) so I'm not a complete mess for the "big reveal" of my test results at the shrink in the morning....
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Old

Good talk son...good talk...

Posted 03-11-10 at 12:43 AM by carped1em (Mission Log: Major Tom, present location coordinates...unknown)
It's a pretty good day today.
Cold's getting much better, back on stims, remembered vitamins and omega oils, no lingering trazadone feeling (or more specifically lack of feeling). Didn't shower or get dressed but hey, it's only 9pm.

I did fold my laundry, called on some artist loft apartments that I would love to live in (even worked up the courage to talk to Jobin about moving in again. don't know where he'll end up with that one but I'm proud of myself).
Ate leftover...
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Waiting for my laundry to dry so I can take a shower

Posted 03-10-10 at 01:23 AM by carped1em (Mission Log: Major Tom, present location coordinates...unknown)
A med free day, save for nasal spray and face goop, if one would consider that medication.

I don't know if it's lingering trazodone, cold meds in my system, ladytime hormones or emerging crazy but last night and today were extremely heavy and fractured.

Days like today I question the magical inpatient Dr.'s super mutant style AD/HD with no comorbid diagnosis.

The longer I'm left alone to wander the dark and contorted corridors of my psyche, the more I'm...
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Consider if you will, a life lived on impulse

Posted 03-07-10 at 10:24 PM by carped1em (Mission Log: Major Tom, present location coordinates...unknown)
I'm boycotting the trazodone that they gave me for insomnia. Not a fan of SSRI's.
I'd rather be in existential angst than an emotional vacuum.
SO, insomnia returns....in hour 26 I found the thread about the most impulsive thing you've ever done.
I started my post innocently enough.

Several hours, 3 facebook chats, applications of ointment and junk on my zombie laser face, 2 cups of coffee, 60oz. water, 1 vegan kashi pizza, 2 bananas, peanut butter honey toast,...
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Sorry, I've been shot in the face with a laser...

Posted 03-06-10 at 01:39 AM by carped1em (Mission Log: Major Tom, present location coordinates...unknown)
I love the fact that it is an actual job, and not technical enough to require a college degree, to shoot someone with a laser. Even curiouser is that it is common for people to pay money to be shot repeatedly by laser, in nearly every part of their body, face and genitals being most common.

I get shot in both locations for hair removal and I just paid for a more powerful laser to shoot off the top few layers of my face today.
I look like a radiation burn victim that will allegedly...
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