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Cut Adrift Again

Posted 05-05-08 at 03:12 AM by Asylum
Yes, here I am, once more bobbing about with no life raft, no help and no idea. Oh joy.
I told the phychiatrist the medication I've started wasn't working. This, for some bizarre and inexplicable reason, led to him suggesting an anit-phychotic.
Man oh man, I wished I could have seen my face when he said that!
'Of course' he didn't mean I was phychotic (it must be noted this was not pointed out with any great hurry) merely that it could help with some of my other 'symptoms,' like sleeplessness and anxiety. Which would be great - if I was having a problem with sleeplessness and anxiety.
(I should perhaps point out that my phychiatrist is, in fact, an idiot. This may lessen the amount of eyebrow raising anyone reading this may do while reading of his questionable standing as a compassionate human being. I don't want to be responsible for any eyebrow sprainage.)
Once that i had, in my stumbling and inarticluate way, establised that A) I am not phychotic and B) I am not looking to treat anything but ADD at this moment and C) There is no way in the sunny green hills of Hell i'm going to take this particular medication thankyou very much, he reluctantly had to admit he knew 'little' about ADD, and that he was unable to prescribe anything other than clinical trials of Dex.
Ah yes doctor, it all becomes so clear! Your refusal to discuss this disorder. Your concentration on other areas of my life and your subtle hints that you really, really want me to go on anti-depressants and talk about my mother, because you're cool with that, you have a handle on these things and can discuss and treat these things with ease. You do, in fact, fervently wish I would stop thinking I have ADD and admit to having something you're 'better at.'
I tried to explain for the umpteenth time that the only reason I agree to sit in his sh*tty little office on a regular basis is to get some treatment for ADD.
'I don't know that you have ADD,' says the man who prescribed me Dexamphetamine, clearly working on the theory that if this medication didn't work, I didn't have it.
See, I told you he was an idiot - and yet you didn't quite believe me, did you??
'I know you don't know that I have it. I know I have it,' I tried to point out. But it was hopeless, I don't have a degree on me, and am therefore not qualified to hold such an opinion.
I told him I was sick of being in that middling class, not crazy, not delusional and needing hardcore meds or sedation or hospitalisation or a lifetime on disability because I am unable to work, and yet not doing well enough to do what I want, be what I want, to have my choice of work or even enough work to get off the part-disablity I'm on for having clinical depresson. I said I just needed some help, that I'm not that hard to 'fix'. I'm tired of being shunted around between the too few avenues that are available in a small town.
His response was to say 'he was limited in what he could do for me.'
Read: Go find help somewhere else.
'Well,' I say, grabbing my purse and keys, 'I guess I'll go live my limited life.'
What the hell - he got paid for that.
I had to chew the inside of my mouth on the drive home to stop myself from crying big baby tears, because I wasn't going to let someone like that dissolve me into patheticness. I made record time back to my hometown and I'm not sure my old car has completely forgiven me - its out there now, sitting in my garage with a matyred air.
And now I'm left with half a bottle of useless Dexamphetamine, no proffesional help of any kind and no support. I state I've spent much too much time in already.
Poor me.
I have a bad craving to crawl under my bed covers and hide. To dwell on the number of times I've slid between the cracks and eat bad food. The right response would have been to punch the phychiatrist in the face and point out that he's not very good at his job. But I never think of the right response - I always come up with the perfect comeback or answer like, five hours later, when its too late to find that person and say 'Hey, remember me? Yea? Well, I just want you to know. . . !'
So now I'll probably have supressed rage induced dreams where I'm strangling him with a skipping rope or something.
Well, its near sundown, time to hit the trail and go hunt for chocolate. I will saddle up my horse (Sigma station wagon) ride into town and rastle up some vittles, and maybe take my mood out on those people that congregate in the middle of shopping isles to hold impromptu reunions.
They deserve what they get.
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Comments

  1. Old
    meadd823's Avatar
    Idiots abound no matter where one lives until I came here I thought the US had cornered the market -

    sorry you were unable to find ADD relief
    Posted 05-06-08 at 04:04 AM by meadd823 meadd823 is offline
  2. Old
    texasmissb's Avatar
    Is he the only one? Can you go to a major city and see someone else? When I was going to my reg MD for anxiety she had given me several different drugs that didnt work, she said, "here is what you need to do, you know that stuff that you can pop that is packing to ship things"? I say, "bubble wrap"? She says, "yea take it and when you feel anxious start popping it". This is true she really told me that, while I had hives from anxiety and had scratched my self to pieces. I went home cried and slammed several beers. She actually on my next visit though put me on something that worked but with bad side effects. This is why they say a doctor practices medicine, their just practising, not their fault if it doesnt work out or they dont know what they are doing and their ego has no boundaries.
    Posted 05-09-08 at 11:52 PM by texasmissb texasmissb is offline
  3. Old
    Asylum's Avatar
    Bubble wrap???????????
    I have heard the most insane, useless and bizzare 'advice' come out of the mouths of these proffessionals. It leaves me speechless. And the worst thing it, no-one believes you, because you're the crazy one who had to go see a phychiatrist, right?????
    Posted 05-10-08 at 03:16 AM by Asylum Asylum is offline
  4. Old
    Quote:
    I told the phychiatrist the medication I've started wasn't working. This, for some bizarre and inexplicable reason, led to him suggesting an anit-phychotic.
    Man oh man, I wished I could have seen my face when he said that!
    'Of course' he didn't mean I was phychotic (it must be noted this was not pointed out with any great hurry) merely that it could help with some of my other 'symptoms,' like sleeplessness and anxiety. Which would be great - if I was having a problem with sleeplessness and anxiety.
    (I should perhaps point out that my phychiatrist is, in fact, an idiot. This may lessen the amount of eyebrow raising anyone reading this may do while reading of his questionable standing as a compassionate human being. I don't want to be responsible for any eyebrow sprainage.)
    Once that i had, in my stumbling and inarticluate way, establised that A) I am not phychotic and B) I am not looking to treat anything but ADD at this moment and C) There is no way in the sunny green hills of Hell i'm going to take this particular medication thankyou very much, he reluctantly had to admit he knew 'little' about ADD, and that he was unable to prescribe anything other than clinical trials of Dex.
    I love my ex psych- here's an example of some of the useless banter we would have.

    me: I am not psychotic why should I take risperdal especially when it's not good for anxiety.

    my pdoc: maybe you need to take it every day.

    me: I am not psychotic though...

    That's when I fired her...
    Posted 08-26-08 at 10:50 PM by LeeAnne LeeAnne is offline
  5. Old
    Ive had all kinds of doctors. There are the ones who will just sit in the chair and nod ever time you say something, or the ones who will get you to try every kind on drug they have even though they dont understand what it does, and then the ones who miss diagnose and you cant tell them different because they are DOCTORS.
    When I was in college, I had a great bunch of people that worked in the learning disability center that helped me alot.they sent me to a psychiatrist for the meds, (btw, the ONLY thing this guy studied was learning disabilities and nothing else. He knew his stuff.) and they would teach me the coping mechanisms for dealing with school and my regular life. I dont think Ive learned more about myself and add than with them.
    I think people should look for doctors like they look for best friends. Do you understand them? Do you respect and trust them?
    Try it this way: Get someone for the meds and only the meds. Then get someone else for the cognitive/behavioral/learning stuff.
    If you can manage it, ie: money and time, its the best way to go imho.
    Posted 09-05-08 at 06:56 AM by lightchemist lightchemist is offline
  6. Old
    I got prescribed anti psychotics for the same reasons. But it seemed stupid. At the time I was presenting with a drug/drink problem, and this didn't stop my cravings for drinking, and it didn't seem to do jack **** but make my heart fluttery and that was anxiety provoking. Though thursday onthe concerta, but due to I guess stress related to general 'WHY THE HELL WON'T MY MUM STOP RIPPING THE HOUSE APART AND PUTTING IT BACK TOGETHER?' and 'JEEZ-us it's unbearable living in this house', and 'DEATH IS EVERWHERE.' 'EVERYONE IS DYING AROUND ME.' (well both my nans, but I'm detached from that usually.) and a massive wave of misery and anxiety rose up out of the blue, but the next day underdtandabley after getting a restful sleep I felt positive, and lacked pain in my eyes. http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm...endid=11716147 At college I should be getting learning support again, and it's pretty useless without the meds, and the meds arn;t as good without the support.
    Posted 09-06-08 at 08:47 AM by tree oh tree tree oh tree is offline
 
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