It really isn't all my fault.

I was reading up a bit on adhd today again and I have for many years. It's funny how you can think you know quite a bit and then, you read something in a new way.

Today I read about lack of empathy/hyper-empathy as a failure of regulation. I have seen the problems in my life and have blamed myself for them so long even knowing about adhd.

While I read this I thought, "it really isn't all my fault" as if I had never had this thought before. This sort of watershed of relief washed over me. It makes me wonder, what is it going to take?

We're embattled from all sides and from within as well.

I sit and can only wonder. If after all the reading I've done, all the understandings I've made and I still have so much self blame, what will it take? The narratives are so set out, but I think there's something wrong with them. All this talk of responsibility really is translated as blame by those saying it and those on the receiving end.

A new lexicon has to be made somehow.

Don't look at me.