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The most hated phrase...

Posted 06-16-08 at 04:53 PM by Lady Lark
"You know, other people have it worse then you do."
(or some such variant of that)

It's awful. I can't think of anything I'd rather hear less. I'd rather be pregnant again, with my belly (apparently) public property for all to touch and rub as they feel fit, while getting offended if I ask them to keep their grubby mitts of my body.

Don't get me wrong, for all my ranting and complaining I'm happy. I know I have a good life, and I know how very luck we are to be able to live off of a single income. My kids are healthy, we have insurance, the cats are.....well......cats. My kids are getting the treat of growing up with all four grandparents (something I never had), and are surrounded withy a large, loving, and (mostly) supportive family.

I also know that I have a teenage step daughter (living with us), with all the fun that brings, that has her own baggage thanks (in part) to her mother, and her dad not being there while she was growing up (no matter how much he wanted to be).

I know I have another teenage stepdaughter (not living with us) who also deals with her mother issues, and the fact that "daddy", who was there from the beginning, isn't her "real" daddy".

I know that I have a son who has the triple challenge of being ADHD, Asperger, and gifted.

I know I have another son who just happens to be one of those lucky individuals that breaks out in hives for no reason at all.

I know that while I chose to stay home (and I would again), it's hard. I know my kids have a competition to see who can get the vein in my neck twitching first, with bonus points awarded for not getting killed in the processes.

I want to have adult conversations. I want to talk about something besides how important AP English really is. Or why calling even the video game "poopy-head" isn't nice. Or the merits of Big Bird vs Cookie Monster.

"You know, other people have it worse then you do."

I know. But to say that just negates what I am going through. Why not say;
"Why are you being so selfish?"
"I don't care."
"No one cares since it's not on the national stage, and you're an evil person who should rot in hell for thinking that your issues have any significance what so ever."
It seems closer to the truth to me.

Sure, I might not be suffering from floods, earthquakes, genocide, famine, or even a "full blown" case of Autism, but that doesn't mean that what I am suffering is unimportant.

It matters to my son who can't understand why the kids don't like him.

It matters to my other son who wonders why he has to take medicine every day so he doesn't get "itchies."

It matters to me.
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Total Comments 3


  1. Old
    zoomman's Avatar
    When people spout great non-thoughts like that I just wanna smack them so hard that the Popsicle sticks they're using for ideas rattle loose and fall out their ears.

    "Well, you know, there are people that have it much worse than you do"

    WhacK! "Yeah, and you too, you pompous a*s."
    Posted 06-16-08 at 11:11 PM by zoomman zoomman is offline
  2. Old
    meadd823's Avatar
    I am sorry you feel invalidated at times when what you need is simply some one to shut up and listen. I think some time people say those things because they do not know what to say. For some reason there are those who feel the need to fix our feelings because they do not know how to simply accept them as they are.

    When you begin to cut your husbands meet for him perhaps it is a sign of mother needing a day off - mother hood as a job and every one else gets days off some times mother's need some time to them selves tooooo. ..
    Posted 06-17-08 at 02:28 AM by meadd823 meadd823 is offline
  3. Old
    Lady Lark's Avatar

    I've never cut up Mark's dinner, but I have caught myself talking to him like he's two. Course there are times he acts like he's two so.....

    I know a lot of people will say really dumb things because they want to say something that will help, but don't realize how amazingly stupid and insensitive it sounds.

    I guess I really should rant about how people need to think more.
    Posted 06-17-08 at 10:44 AM by Lady Lark Lady Lark is offline
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