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Captains log of troubleshooting steps taken, results and analysis of physical, emotional and intellectual response.

Documentation to aid in resolution of known corruption in operation system code language translation and possible multiple shorts in circuit wiring, resulting in CPU malfunction.

(Research notes may include but are not limited to to following; frustration, whining, fear, anger, grief, denial and extremely dark and dry humor...please consult your owner's manual for interraction warnings before opening)
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and now for something completely different...

Posted 12-06-10 at 01:18 PM by carped1em (Mission Log: Major Tom, present location coordinates...unknown)
It seems like my last post was a lifetime ago, two or three really.
Where to begin should be obvious, but so much has transpired since my last post, I don't know that I really want to spend my entire day writing in reverse...
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If I had a world of my own everything will be nonsense

Posted 04-08-10 at 10:48 AM by carped1em (Mission Log: Major Tom, present location coordinates...unknown)
"I invite you to a world where there is no such thing as time
And every creature lends themselves to change your state of mind
And the girl that chased the rabbit drank the wine and took the pill
Has locked herself in limbo to see how it truly feels." -Shinedown

If only I could write like that. Funny how many songs peg so exactly what you feel or think, more deeply than you could ever hope to. At least that's true for me.

I've tried to...
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Slipping back down the rabbit hole...

Posted 03-11-10 at 05:43 AM by carped1em (Mission Log: Major Tom, present location coordinates...unknown)
Today was a pretty decent day all in all. It's getting late and my speed is long since gone.

I ended up eating only pasta, toast with peanut butter and bananas and green jello. I'm out of protein powder and i'm out of any high calorie food except peanut butter and I've had my fill thanks.

I'm trying to go to sleep before 3am (hhahahahha like that'll actually happen) so I'm not a complete mess for the "big reveal" of my test results at the shrink in the morning....
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Good talk son...good talk...

Posted 03-11-10 at 12:43 AM by carped1em (Mission Log: Major Tom, present location coordinates...unknown)
It's a pretty good day today.
Cold's getting much better, back on stims, remembered vitamins and omega oils, no lingering trazadone feeling (or more specifically lack of feeling). Didn't shower or get dressed but hey, it's only 9pm.

I did fold my laundry, called on some artist loft apartments that I would love to live in (even worked up the courage to talk to Jobin about moving in again. don't know where he'll end up with that one but I'm proud of myself).
Ate leftover...
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Waiting for my laundry to dry so I can take a shower

Posted 03-10-10 at 01:23 AM by carped1em (Mission Log: Major Tom, present location coordinates...unknown)
A med free day, save for nasal spray and face goop, if one would consider that medication.

I don't know if it's lingering trazodone, cold meds in my system, ladytime hormones or emerging crazy but last night and today were extremely heavy and fractured.

Days like today I question the magical inpatient Dr.'s super mutant style AD/HD with no comorbid diagnosis.

The longer I'm left alone to wander the dark and contorted corridors of my psyche, the more I'm...
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