Faryal is one of the most interesting people I've had the privilege to call my friend. She is from Pakistan. Her parents were diplomats of some sort so she was raised in Egypt.
She has two darling boys & a "fat faced" husband, her words, not mine.
It was an arranged marriage. She accepted the arrangement because she wasn't in love with anyone else and she thought he was nice enough and seemed to be a good man.
I met her in tech training at my company. While her...

I'm never aware of what my body really looks like. I think this is partly because I rarely know what my body FEELS like.

Right now, I'm always cold so I wear 1 or 2 shirts & 1 or 2 giant hoodies all the time. Because I haven't been shopping for about 30lbs. or so, all my sweats & jeans fall down. I never really do much more than glance in a mirror, unless I'm doing my hair or makeup. Then i'm usually in a gigantic robe & focused on individual features.
The slight...

I'm about to head out to with a friend of mine for dinner. She is an L.C.S.W. and practicing therapist who saw no sign that I was reaching the level that I did, or any of the events that followed until this week.

Much of the meal will be spent (I have no doubt) going over my descent into (madness?) and matching up behaviors that she was aware of, with my shiny new diagnosis in tow.

I'm coming off at least a week straight insomnia stretch & we're going to the Cheesecake...

WTF mate!?!
It's now 3:30 a.m. & I'm kicking myself for starting this blog & wasting my speed chill on writing nothing, instead of sleeping!





The lure of a few refreshing R.E.M. cycles is nothing compared to the absoute seduction of:

1. Thoroughly cleaning all the rooms in my house, organization of piling systems, boxes of...whatever included.
2. Finally organizing the 500+ photo CD's and negatives in a box next to my desk. -field note: Items

...

I live with a dog & cat.
I spend days in a row without seeing another person. Days without speaking to anyone but my pets.

When the level of amphetimine is high enough to stem the tide of brain chatter, my solitude is a blessing.
My current dose/med doesn't evenly affect all of my symptoms.
My body feels sedated and I'm a heavier kind of clumsy.
My speech is slowed and I have to search for thoughts & words.
I spend so much time trying to structure...