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-   -   Child gets embarrassing add award. (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=192245)

Caco3girl 07-02-18 11:06 AM

Re: Child gets embarrassing add award.
 
Had my 15 year old ADHD son received the awards mentioned he would have laughed and agreed, probably while the class cat called and whistled.

Another case of over sensitivity in our country. She didn't give him the dumb award, least likely to go to college award....come on people.

Fuzzy12 07-02-18 11:31 AM

Re: Child gets embarrassing add award.
 
Whatever the teacher's intentions were it was a very, very bad idea and I expect professionals who are in a place of responsibility for very vulnerable and impressionable people (pupils in this case) to not have very bad ideas.

I honestly don't see how on earth the teacher thought this was acceptable. Some kids might be able to laugh it off but others won't but it won't add any real value or be beneficial in any way so why do it? I think a teacher's mantra just like a healthcare provider's should be "do not harm".

Lunacie 07-02-18 11:37 AM

Re: Child gets embarrassing add award.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Caco3girl (Post 1999157)
Had my 15 year old ADHD son received the awards mentioned he would have laughed and agreed, probably while the class cat called and whistled.

Another case of over sensitivity in our country. She didn't give him the dumb award, least likely to go to college award....come on people.

To me, that sounds like another case of making excuses for bully behavior.

My adhd granddaughter was bullied in school, and the bullying by teachers
bothered her much more than any student bullying.
It took a real toll on her self esteem.
She finally asked to move to online school.
Without that option, I have little doubt that she would have dropped out
instead of graduating.

psychopathetic 07-02-18 01:17 PM

Re: Child gets embarrassing add award.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Caco3girl (Post 1999157)
Another case of over sensitivity in our country. She didn't give him the dumb award, least likely to go to college award....come on people.

Oh thank goodness, someone else actually feels the same way I do and I'm not alone! lol

:grouphug:

psychopathetic 07-02-18 01:36 PM

Re: Child gets embarrassing add award.
 
I still don't think the teacher was being a bully here.

And now I'm getting all uptight on this again this morning :lol:

It's like ya'll are stuck on the idea that the teacher was meaning to do this out of spite, or to be mean.

But holy heck it seems SO insanely clear to me that she was just being silly and playful.
She's got a tough job...but I bet she loves it. And I wouldn't be surprised if she's had it for a long time and has a long record of being thought of as an awesome teacher by a lot of students over the years.

This was likely just a thing she did with her students to try and have a bit of fun...like making fun of the yearly year books "most likely to succeed" awards. She probably gives out silly "most likely" awards to every single person in her class. And yeah...I guess if you want to look at the awards with zero humor, and zero open mindedness...sure they're going to look bad. But come on! :doh:

I don't get it.
/frustrated sigh...

Until I've been given some sort of reason to believe the teacher was intentionally trying to be mean in this situation...I side with the teacher on this and fully believe she did this as a warm hearted joke. An inside joke the mother didn't understand.
And until I have reasons to believe the mom isn't over reacting...I'm disgusted with her for blowing this so far out of proportion. There's something about this I don't trust or like about her. In my mind...her son wasn't even really bothered by this, but she's going around telling the media and everything that he was super upset over it because it will help her case in court. She'll be laughing her way to the bank when she sues the school.
I can't stand people like her.
Yuck.

namazu 07-02-18 05:05 PM

Re: Child gets embarrassing add award.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by psychopathetic (Post 1999178)
It's like ya'll are stuck on the idea that the teacher was meaning to do this out of spite, or to be mean.

But holy heck it seems SO insanely clear to me that she was just being silly and playful.

OK, so let's say she was just being silly and playful. That's totally possible, probably even likely. Maybe she rides unicorns who fart rainbows and is next in line for sainthood. ;)

But what she thought was super-duper-fun! -- publicly joking about a kid's ADHD in the context of end-of-year awards -- was evidently hurtful to that child.

It doesn't make the teacher an inherently horrible person, and maybe the kid actually loves this teacher despite it all (though we certainly don't know that). But it suggests that she midjudged what would be appropriate in this situation. That's all. It's possible to have good intentions and still screw something up.

The parent's (possible over-)reaction is a separate issue, and may also be a (small or large) misjudgment. Again, we don't have all of the back-story.

It would be interesting to hear everything from the child's perspective.

AdultADHD 07-02-18 06:40 PM

Re: Child gets embarrassing add award.
 
All we have to go on is the written information provided.

In that description of the event, we learned:

1. The child had tears in his eyes because of it

and

2. This was presented to him in front of all his peers by an authority figure

The teacher being corrected or reprimanded for this is not an indictment on the teacher's character.

It's simply correcting an inappropriate behavior that is inappropriate regardless of who is doing it.

Brushing it under the rug allows the type of inappropriate behavior to continue.

If you are missing the point, it is not that the teacher was automatically judged to be mean-spirited.

It's all about how this could be humiliating for the child and why a publicly humiliating behavior in front of a child's peers like this perpetuated by an authority figure who is entrusted with being the schooltime caretaker of children under their watch, must be addressed and checked.

It simply cannot be allowed to continue.

It's not about the specific teacher being wrong personally. It's about the humiliating act being wrong professionally.

To most people, it should be obvious that the motivation for the act wasn't malicious or done with ill will toward the child. In fact, it could have come from a place that was pure and genuine.

That was never the argument.

It's all about how any teacher failing to consider the ramifications of calling attention to a child for their disorder/learning difference in front of peers is neglect.

My mother was an elementary school teacher for Metro Public Schools for over 40 years.

If there is one thing I know all teachers are expected to do before each activity in a classroom, it is to plan ahead for it.

These lesson plans are routine and done in advance.

Therefore, this was done with forethought which means the teacher had time to see this plan on paper.

The teacher knew exactly what specific kind of awards would be given.

Even if the specific child the award was given to was voted on by the class without input by the teacher, the teacher knew which kinds of awards would be possible for any child to get. The teacher knew this ahead of time or else the teacher neglected their professional responsibility of creating the lesson plans.

Here are the two areas where the teacher dropped the ball, in my opinion:

1. The teacher knew there was at least one child with ADHD in the class.
2. The teacher knew there was at least one award for ADHD for the class.

There is no way the teacher could plan to present this specific ADHD award to the specific student who has ADHD without even the smallest inkling that it could be inappropriate given the child's feelings, unless the teacher flat out neglected to consider how the child could be affected by the type of attention it could bring the child.

Even if there is only a slight chance that the child could feel humiliated, that is enough of a chance that the teacher who is charged with planning and carrying out these events should know to take that particular award off the table.

This is part of the teacher's duties.

Even if someone was to say the child was just being too sensitive in the way the child felt, that is up to the child.

It's not about protecting the teacher's feelings over the child in this case. It was the child who was brought the unwarranted attention in front of that child's peers.

When you're a kid in school, the way the other kids receive you means everything.

Even a kid with the thickest of skins and goofiest of personalities cares about how the other kids view him or her even if they would never admit it to their teachers or parents.

For all we know, the particular child was sitting there eagerly with a hopeful expectation of an award for something they could feel proud about in front of the other students and an award that would recognize something that would distinguish them positively for a behavior, attitude, or accomplishment.

Instead, their name was called and they were distinguished from the rest of their neurotypical peers in the classroom for something that was negative and carries a stigma with it, distraction.

Yes, the very challenge that has already brought enough difficulty for them in their learning life, was now allowed by the teacher to extend its damage to their social life too. :(

The teacher should have received training on how certain actions coming from an authority figure can adversely affect a child emotionally as well as socially.

This is a memory this child will carry with them for years to come if not the rest of their life.

If such damage happened, it is not the responsibility of the child to be forced to just grin and bear the social consequences of this type of attention when the child had no control of it happening in the first place.

It is the teacher who was responsible for the event and for making sure things like this do not happen under their watch.

This teacher was negligent in their professional duties to prevent even the potential of harm from this type of inappropriate behavior to have a place in their classroom.

If there was even one child with ADHD in the class, the ADHD "award" should not have even been an option to make it past the lesson planning stage for that day.

In my honest opinion, even if there wasn't a child with ADHD in the class, there is no justification for having an ADHD "award" in the first place.

Those who won the ADHD lottery and their parents aren't laughing to the bank.

As we've learned from what was written about the event, it's quite the opposite.

The child who "won" the "award" came home to their mother with tears in their eyes because of being humiliated by the very authority figure trusted to be responsible for their well being at school.

mildadhd 07-02-18 08:31 PM

Re: Child gets embarrassing add award.
 
Quote:

He was one of several student to receive the award, Derek told his mother after she stumbled across the certificate in his room. His teacher had also given him an award for being most improved in social studies and another called #BermudaTriangle, which reads “most likely to borrow stuff and it never coming back.”


I think the teacher(s) involved need to learn the difference between being sarcastic and being playful.

I have made the same mistake in being sarcastic, in an attempt to be funny with my own son, and I could tell by the look on his face that my attempt to be funny failed, and only confused things. (I then remembered reading in a book about childhood development, that there is no place for sarcasm in raising a child.) Which I could see by the confused look on my son's face, do to my sarcasm, to be true.

I then apologized to my son for being sarcastic and explained to him, it was totally wrong for me to sarcastic, and I will try never to be sarcastic again.

If the teacher had given the award for most improved in social studies without giving the other sarcastic awards, the teacher would have done the child a great service.

Instead the teachers' sarcasm has left the student confused instead.

I think the teacher could make this whole messy situation better, by addressing his/her mistake, tell the student that teachers make mistakes to, it was wrong for the teacher to be sarcastic, and tell the student again, great job improving his grades in social studies.



M

Lunacie 07-02-18 09:26 PM

Re: Child gets embarrassing add award.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by mildadhd (Post 1999201)
I think the teacher(s) involved need to learn the difference between being sarcastic and being playful.

I have made the same mistake in being sarcastic, in an attempt to be funny with my own son, and I could tell by the look on his face that my attempt to be funny failed, and only confused things. (I then remembered reading in a book about childhood development, that there is no place for sarcasm in raising a child.) Which I could see by the confused look on my son's face, do to my sarcasm, to be true.

I then apologized to my son for being sarcastic and explained to him, it was totally wrong for me to sarcastic, and I will try never to be sarcastic again.

If the teacher had given the award for most improved in social studies without giving the other sarcastic awards, the teacher would have done the child a great service.

Instead the teachers' sarcasm has left the student confused instead.

I think the teacher could make this whole messy situation better, by addressing his/her mistake, tell the student that teachers make mistakes to, it was wrong for the teacher to be sarcastic, and tell the student again, great job improving his grades in social studies.



M


Yes, it must be very confusing when serious awards are mixed with possibly
playful or possibly sarcastic awards in the same awards ceremony.

mildadhd 07-02-18 09:49 PM

Re: Child gets embarrassing add award.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lunacie (Post 1999202)
Yes, it must be very confusing when serious awards are mixed with possibly
playful or possibly sarcastic awards in the same awards ceremony.

Play promotes childhood development.

Sarcasm demotes childhood development.

All children are born with a biological instinct to play.

Children are not born with a biological instinct to be sarcastic.

In other words, we are born with an understanding of play. We are not born with an understanding of sarcasm.

The child would have understood the teacher, if the teacher was being playful.

The teacher was being sarcastic, and the student did not understand.



M

daveddd 07-02-18 09:49 PM

Re: Child gets embarrassing add award.
 
What if it turns out the teacher had adhd as well

And this was her equivalent of blurting things out before thinking and poor social skills

That be crazy huh. How would we feel about it then

namazu 07-02-18 09:50 PM

Re: Child gets embarrassing add award.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by daveddd (Post 1999204)
How would we feel about it then

About the same -- that it was a mistake.

Lunacie 07-02-18 09:51 PM

Re: Child gets embarrassing add award.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by daveddd (Post 1999204)
What if it turns out the teacher had adhd as well

And this was her equivalent of blurting things out before thinking and poor social skills

That be crazy huh. How would we feel about it then

The mom asked for a simple apology.

Doesn't matter why the teacher did this, or what disorder she may have.

She's the adult and should model good behavior by apologizing.

daveddd 07-02-18 09:57 PM

Re: Child gets embarrassing add award.
 
What if the kid one of those with adhd who constantly joked about his adhd with a similar style of humor

daveddd 07-02-18 09:59 PM

Re: Child gets embarrassing add award.
 
I guess I don’t have to much of a side her

The only thing this invokes in me when I read it was innocent until proven guilty

Maybe a lawsuit was mentioned early and the schools legal console advised her not to say anything


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