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-   -   Out of sight out of mind. (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=189884)

Goofycook 01-03-18 05:29 PM

Out of sight out of mind.
 
Out of sight out of mind is one the biggest issue that has resulted from my ADHD. As soon as I set something down,stop doing something.ect it is completely is forgotten. So many things in my life are unfinished, lost and/or just forgotten that I get overwhelmed thinking about it.

A lot in my life has been lost because of this including friendships. does anyone have this issue or find it takes years to figure out how to do something consistently.At the age of 60 I'm just figuring out things that should have been figured out years ago. Stupid things like how not to get a milk mustache or rinse off a plate so it doesn't get crusty. Does any of this even make sense.

right now I'm sitting and shaking my head at myself.

Padawan 01-03-18 09:54 PM

Re: Out of sight out of mind.
 
Yes, what you wrote makes perfect sense. I also am wondering how much of what I've abandoned or left unfinished that I want to release to the universe, and how much I want to try to salvage.

All I can say is to try to celebrate every small success (even if it's a rinsed plate) and to be sure to spend at least as much time thinking about your strengths, especially those you might have ignored, as dwelling on lost opportunities.

anonymouslyadd 01-03-18 10:27 PM

Re: Out of sight out of mind.
 
Everyone with ADD has this issue.

acdc01 01-04-18 12:17 AM

Re: Out of sight out of mind.
 
Absolutely. And friendships lost for me too.

DeClutter 01-04-18 07:22 AM

Re: Out of sight out of mind.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Goofycook (Post 1980887)
Out of sight out of mind is one the biggest issue that has resulted from my ADHD. As soon as I set something down,stop doing something.ect it is completely is forgotten. So many things in my life are unfinished, lost and/or just forgotten that I get overwhelmed thinking about it.

right now I'm sitting and shaking my head at myself.

Question i have in this lately... Is this our "Self". Is this our character, or lack thereof. Is it our own failure to be more efficient and goal oriented, or is it more a problem because we compare ourselves to those who have it far easier to be efficient and goal oriented.

I don't think Stephen Hawking would ever sit and shake his head at himself because he compares himself to an Olympic Athlete who runs the 100m in record time. He is in a wheel chair and is paralysed. HE may wish he could walk, but it's a physical limitation and it makes no sense to compare or blame his own character.

But with what we have, basically a limitation that interferes with our ability to achieve our goals in a consistent and long term manner, we DO compare ourselves with that athlete who trains relentlessly for years. We come accross as low on willpower, commitment or lacking a backbone in our character.

But perhaps our character is what we are DESPITE the scattered focus, the volatile inner emotions and our chaotic brain that we always need to compensate for or work around.

Imagine we are like the olympic athlete, but running the 100m with many many extra pounds of lead taped all over our body, which just slows us down and makes us tumble and fall over and over. Still, we get up every time and try to make it to the finish. To me, that takes a lot of backbone to do.

Ronelh 01-04-18 08:29 AM

Re: Out of sight out of mind.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Goofycook (Post 1980887)
Out of sight out of mind is one the biggest issue that has resulted from my ADHD. As soon as I set something down,stop doing something.ect it is completely is forgotten. So many things in my life are unfinished, lost and/or just forgotten that I get overwhelmed thinking about it.

Yes, as others have said, that is one of the main struggles of many ADDers. Most of my coping mechanisms revolve around keeping things in sight so they donít go out of mind. I donít mean never putting anything away, but things like writing notes, and putting the note in some place I canít possibly miss, like my place at the dinner table. Or putting everything I need by the door an hour (or a day!) before I need to go somewhere, so I wonít forget it. And this is even for places I go to every week!

Anyway, you are not alone. But donít stress yourself out by trying to count yesterdayís oopses. Just take one day at a time, and try to think of ways to reduce the number of them tomorrow. :)

Little Missy 01-04-18 11:46 AM

Re: Out of sight out of mind.
 
I am The Queen of out of sight out of mind.

You would not believe where I put things I don't want to deal with.

Goofycook 01-04-18 12:14 PM

Re: Out of sight out of mind.
 
It is so nice to talk to people with the same issues. Yes at the age of 60 I do try to put one foot in front the other and just keep going forward. Most of the time it is 2 steps forward and three steps side ways,three the other way while going 3 back. it is because I'm either looking for my stuff or just forgottetn I need to step.

Little Nut 01-04-18 12:27 PM

Re: Out of sight out of mind.
 
Very familiar to me as well, but not just in an abstract sense. All of my life...walking from one room to another and then returning. During this round trip I would frequently;
  • Forget why I had gone to the other room and when I remembered make the journey again,
  • Pick something up along the way and when I return not remember picking it up,
  • Pick something up "play" with it and put it down not remembering where. A PITA later when I needed the particular object I had relocated.
  • Seemed like I spent half my time retracing my steps from the previous few days trying to find something that was missing.

By early adulthood I believe age had helped along with copious quantities of caffeine and nicotine....currently the prescribed meds address this. -LN

aeon 01-04-18 12:32 PM

Re: Out of sight out of mind.
 
I have this to some degree, but it doesn’t present itself more acutely than when I am at the refrigerator.

If I can’t see it, i.e., the item is right in front, I forget about it.

I need a refrigerator that is 1ft/30cm deep and 10ft/3m wide. :doh:

Until then, I will continue to create new lifeforms as part of my scatterbrained biology experiments.


Cheers,
Ian

Ronelh 01-04-18 01:54 PM

Re: Out of sight out of mind.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by aeon (Post 1980982)
I need a refrigerator that is 1ft/30cm deep and 10ft/3m wide. :doh:

Great idea! Letís invent one! Weíll call it the ADHD fridge. ;)

SashaBV 01-17-18 03:39 PM

Re: Out of sight out of mind.
 
Yep! Bits and pieces...projects, lost items, lost thoughts, unfinished sentences, emotions...lying hidden, drifting around. And I always wish to be that whole, uncomplicated, person I could be IF...
Never mind, not going to happen, maybe in another lifetime. Reincarnations is such a great concept in a way, but...do I really want to come back? If I didn't have ADD, I'd probably have something else bad...karma.

Goofycook 01-18-18 03:26 PM

Re: Out of sight out of mind.
 
Quote:

Yep! Bits and pieces...projects, lost items, lost thoughts, unfinished sentences, emotions...lying hidden, drifting around. And I always wish to be that whole, uncomplicated, person I could be IF...
Never mind, not going to happen, maybe in another lifetime. Reincarnations is such a great concept in a way, but...do I really want to come back? If I didn't have ADD, I'd probably have something else bad...karma.
Yes Sasha loss of forgetfulness will probably never happen so we might as well accept that we will go through life losing everything else.

yet I could never imagine being normal. Don't you think normal would be boring. Normal people have always bored me to tears. Plus the more normal the person the more he/she seems not to like me.

It use to bother me so much that years were wasted to be normal. So now I have accepted the fact I am what I am.


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