ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community

ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community (
-   General ADD Talk (
-   -   a direct question about adhd specifically. (

Drogheda98 07-30-20 07:14 PM

a direct question about adhd specifically.
and I might be off base when asking this, not sure, I'm following my gut that lead me to the universal truth or the Ac=Bc or the nmonic EGBDF. the brain has two hemispheres the left witch is artsy stuff, language, metaphor, variables, math and the right which is spacial, concrete behavior (I think) and the more concervative line of thought. the ying and the yang for those of you who don't know, is the left and right hemispheres of the brain which in turn reflected in the worlds political systems.

to quote a counselor of mine "adhd is a development delay", and sense the brain is plastic through life either hemisphere of the brain can be , for lack of a better word added to (music is like the best way to build neuralplasticity and general connectivity of the two hemispheres

which hemisphere is the delay in? or am I off base.

Greyhound1 07-30-20 07:45 PM

Re: a direct question about adhd specifically.

Originally Posted by Drogheda98 (Post 2026487)
and I might be off base when asking this, not sure, I'm following my gut that lead me to the universal truth or the Ac=Bc or the nmonic EGBDF. the brain has two hemispheres the left witch is artsy stuff, language, metaphor, variables, math and the right which is spacial, concrete behavior (I think) and the more concervative line of thought. the ying and the yang for those of you who don't know, is the left and right hemispheres of the brain which in turn reflected in the worlds political systems.

to quote a counselor of mine "adhd is a development delay", and sense the brain is plastic through life either hemisphere of the brain can be , for lack of a better word added to (music is like the best way to build neuralplasticity and general connectivity of the two hemispheres

which hemisphere is the delay in? or am I off base.

Iíve read about this and the delay seems to be possibly in both hemispheres with the majority of dysfunction presumed to be in the right hemisphere of the frontal lobe.


Functional neuroimaging studies have been used to study individuals with ADHD and controls and are consistent with the morphometric findings. These studies also revealed dysfunction of the prefrontal-subcortical system, often with greater involvement of areas of the right hemisphere.

Drogheda98 07-30-20 08:12 PM

Re: a direct question about adhd specifically.
I’ve read about this and the delay seems to be possibly in both hemispheres with the majority of dysfunction presumed to be in the right hemisphere of the frontal lobe.

hmm, what you said has me thinking about a moment in therapy, I'll reflect on.

there we where, me sitting on my sofa and joel siting on his. . back in the day when I used to point and blame and understood projection, I used my right hand to say "superego", with my right hand it was projection, a lot of the times, so I started my neurotic path of absolutely no superego when I understood projection. not all the times, but more times than not.

neurosis is seen as a HELL of a lot of ego statments, atleast that's my understanding, cause that's what I did. it was during those times I learned of phenominology, ego as body and the body has a knee thus reflexive ego instead of dyatonic. during that time I would play around with use of the super ego, mostly to see if I projected or not and to see if I could begine to alert myself i I projected, it worked, I can. the last projection of mine was two weeks ago, a normal projection that happens at a special time in development.

through the years a lot of therapy was me going out and living in the world, coming back and telling joel what I had learned and my experiences, he would use super ego on me so I could translate into reflexivity, at that time he knew I had no wish to project at all. I didn't always project, but it really bothered me that I did at that time.

my right hand was used for projection, not always, but a lot. thus I simply stopped using my right hand to even talk with my hands, joel said I should cool it on science and logic, and I'm glad he did, cause logic and emotion work on two different circuits.

therapy, I think anyways and I'm sure everybodies experience is different, is sort of, not reliving, but building the skills in one or more of the 5 years of life in our childhood instead of "taking a crap" we " go duty" which is where duty comes from (ALWAYS CRACKS ME UP), I don't mean the stinking duty, I mean the "duty to self and eventually others, to create" yes to create first comes from our butt as nasty as that sounds.

the second is concrete behavior. literal behavior in the world with little wiggle room for poetic anything. driving a car is an example, then how we operate in the world based on our own history and connections, it was during these times I would point with my left hand, and never projected, even the pointing was different, eventually I didn't even point to say"superego" when I knew what "that" meant

so I'm guessing, maybee the right hemisphere maybee? it makes sense, the sterotype of adhd is "late, disorginized etc. those are hallmark operations of the right hemisphere.

Drogheda98 07-30-20 09:26 PM

Re: a direct question about adhd specifically.
ya, if any of you search ncbi for "right brain adhd" or probably other sights, the delay is in the right hemisphere of the brain.

tudorose 08-02-20 07:41 PM

Re: a direct question about adhd specifically.
I wish I had an answer for you. So many things have been revealed to me over the last 18 months that all I feel now is confused.

I keep wondering how much C-ptsd impacted my brain development. I always thought my spacing out was just part of being adhd. Now I can't work out if it's disassociation.

If you're survival instinct is to shut down then what doesn't develop?

Am I really adhd or was i just a traumatised child? If so how does that explain my kids (adhd and autism)?

I dunno anymore.

On your OP it's entirely possible that all areas of your brain were impaired to some degree. But being a survivor other areas of your brain may have compensated.

Drogheda98 08-03-20 01:22 PM

Re: a direct question about adhd specifically.
"Am I really adhd or was i just a traumatised child?"

you have helped me out in the past turdoise so I will do as well in kind.

that's close to the same question I asked joel once, and to quote him "that's a very difficult and complex question"

and while I'm not a psychologist, the way to my healing has been to read every single psychological article I could get my hands on, even a university book on psychology via google docs, that's why I often link to ncbi, and I still have more healing to do myself. in fact I think healing is just growing.

ok first thing is, the ego is just a variable for the "I", the "I" when in quotations like I myself just put is is just a hypothetical for anybodies ego. just like when I quoted joel I put the quote in ""

the ego or self, is that reflection we see in the mirror reflected back at us, knowing we are not the mirror but the fleshy one looking at the mirror, that fleshy one is the self, or, this is going to be a "repeat after me" sort of experiment on your part turdose, that of itself is the ego, or object of inner thought and outer thought either self reflected back at itself or saying towards others, sometimes both at the same time which I beleive is the marker for strong ego development which is, I beleive anyways, what we people born with adhd have to strive for cause I think we will always have more ego statements than others ego as object which is just pshychological jargin cause ego is object always just, odd to me. imagine with me, when a mother get's pregnant, the infant is an "it" as in if the husband and wife are excited and say "what's it going to be doc, a boy or a girl", after it is given a name it becomes an it's, as in "it's The Self, it'self" that's humankind, that's who we are. when we notice ourselves looking at the mirror and notice it is just our reflection looking back at us such as, again sort of a repeat after me thing "I see me" we notice when we don't look in the mirror we don't see ourselves. this might be basic however it was after going over these basic notions that I healed a good part of myself, and new parts starting materializing in me. therapy or healing is about reliving the first 5 years of our lives.

sense that of The Self is "the me" the difference between ego and "the me" is the ego is the personhood, the doors, the knowers, etc etc the line in the sand drawers or personal boundaries, a personal subjective(cause we are Subjects) boundary is a "no" statement, and "yes" statement, "the me": is "SUBJECTIVITY, or the Subject. that's why life is often construed as a Story, a narrative such as our inner monolouge, or even what I'm currently writing. the king however, is not us, which is why we are subjects as in a kingly house.

sense "ego" is body first, when we look at our body we notice we have knees to kneel(as in subjectivity) and have reflexes. reflexivity of the ego is the precursor to reciprocity. an example, you turdose are a female, and you would answer (which you don't have to this is just an example) with your own ego statement, or if I asked you how you where doing you would say how you where doing with your own ego statment, same for me. reflexivity is the answer to dyotonic can think of reflexivity as what we do with tree's, we take in oxygen from tree's, and we exhale carbon dioxide for the tree's.

personality comes after personhood or noticing ourselves in the mirror but knowing we aren't the mirror but then applying that notion to our own sense
of self and applying it( it ->sense of self in this sort of faculty) as a self reflection or our own "ego" again this might be a basic observation and I don't mean that in a harsh way at all cause my IQ is 130ish and I had to do this as well, I am wrighting this, turdoise you aren't. the eyes are often called the windows to the soul, when we look inward we can see mostly, the people who are closest to us as pictures in our head "objects or things of thought in object relation theory", we can even use inner talk to talk with them as if they are with us which is differentiated by what I'm doing now, because I don't have an inner schema of what you turdoise look like. just how we can grasp things with our hands and hold onto them, we can hold onto the people places, things, idea's, whatever is dear to us, we can hold onto all these things and people in our hearts that are dear to us.

next I'm going to describe reflecting on the past. (and personally I'm starting to reorganize my use of ego myself) when we notice ourselves in the mirror and notice it is just the reflection reflecting back at us, the word "back" has a different meaning than our bodily back. the abstraction of back can enter our minds as "the past" as well, such that when we where younger we looked , so we can reflect on our different in the mirror as we did ten years ago as we do today. so we can reflect on our past, this is usually the term "looking back" or recalling, pulling the past into conscious thought etc. just like we have a backside both literly and temporaspacially (I may of made that term up) we also have a frontside, belly, and, front side of our face, this is not to be differentiated vs " a front" with all the negative associations. just like we can look back and and reflect on the past, we can prospect on the future or "self perspective taking", thus is the notion of living in time, both time and space are inner and outer phenomenon when we can covertly (all inner stuff, is covert stuff, inner speach inner diologe is hidden from others cause others do not have access to our inner diolouge, narcissistic covert is manipulating OTHERS time and dialoge, putting words in others mouth, brainwashing, gas-lighting, denying the reality of others, too much externalizing inner stuff with outer stuff, telling others how to think which is what rumination is, I could be wrong about rumination though. I will explain more)

the most basic part is the "me-not me" structure of our minds. when we look in the mirror we see "me", remember the quotation is just hypothetical. when we don't look in the mirror we see "not me" this is important as to not reflect off of others ego statements, when say, we are at college or anywhere and the instructor say's what she or he is going to do, we don't reflect off of what they say they are going to do. a good way to differentiate is as such. I Jim (my initials)like the taste of cold crisp water with strawberry Gatorade, it is possible you do as well turdose(and I'm sorry if I'm misspelling your name), however, we are talking differentiation, a good way to differentiate is to say another thing you like. this is how we build our own boundaries and differentiate ourselves from others cause I would be the other from your point of veiw or I am the "not me" from your point of view, and your the not me or other from my point of view.

the key differentiation is the difference between "here" and "there", lets hypothyticly thing we are at the same place, one of us would say "hey look at that mountain or that building over there" both of us would be in the position of here in that hypothetical, and over there is a referent of "something over there in time space", however I must say that "here" first refers to being inside oneself, then here is a position in time and space sense "in here" referse to "in Self" here is next thought of as "area around The Self other people can occupy" or the space we are comfortable occupying with others which is an extension of the though of boundaries, usually those people we allow in the "here area" are those same people we can see when we look inside our minds eye. those are the people we are close with, ehh, sometimes.

when we read others ego statements, like now, I'm sitting in a chair writing this, instead of reading the ego statement in our own "inner voice" it's useful to read the ego statment in "anothers voice we conceptualize innewardly" imagine I was Arnold swartsenagor just for a moment, and you can read my ego statments in his voice. it's useful to have anothers "voice" we can read other's ego statements with in mind, usually when we know the person that's easy cause reading and talking often get intermingled, when we know people through the internet however, it's a bit tougher to do cause we rarely actually here their voice.

next I will talk about universality or the universal truth.

universality is this code A>B>C while Ac=Bc it's also the code of nuanced thought, first person"ego", second person "the other, or super ego, third person "they", that everybody is of equal value while still being different, having different skills, likes, dislikes, boundaries etc... it is also a map of each individual ego. and I will explain first what happens to an infant and why the code is so important to know. and I forget who I got this theory from, meh.

when an infant cries "point A" the mother will come to feed the infant "point B or when the mother comes to the infant through space and time to feed the infant" the infant will then feel reward "that was good milk if an infant had cognition hehe" or not " that milk was crap "PROJECTION" all personality disorders, the spectrum we here off so much, is related to this formula. I will explain what a narcasist is in reagards to this formula. when an infant cries "point A" the mother comes but doesn't pay attention or doesn't serve the infant, so the infant is stuck at point B, never seeing the good"good milk" or bad" bad milk" and thus doesn't see both the good and the bad at the same time "sometimes things are good, sometimes things aren't good, taco bell tastes good but is really bad for the weight", this is known as object permanence I don't know about the other personality disorder though so I can't comment. luckily for us, we can imagine and fix any wound. object permanence is knowing things exist outside of us "over there"such as when I say arbies we can both pull into consciousness what arbies looks like and trust it(arbies) is there. thus object permanence is matching inward thought with outward existence

this applies to words as well. I said arbies and we both understood what arbies is " a place to eat foodstuffs" I could say northark and you wouldn't know what that is because you have no referent to what it is externally because it is local where I live, now I'll say, it's the college I attend, and the connection is made.

I will return to the A>B>C formulation. > = greater than thus a choice "A" is more important than the doing simply because without a choice we would have nothing to do, so we make a plan at point A either at the individual level or group level, then the point "B" is the doing, A is when we choose what to "do" B is when we are in the "do-ing" or the going or the traviling, all the "ings" in language or the activity of engaging in a choice decided at point A, then at point C "it worked(the plan, the thing we are doing" well, not well, kind of well, not at all" in Freudian thought which a lot of his stuff is just old news, but the heart of his theory (his theory, not mine) is really important to Men in particular, and I could be biased because I figured out my personality through his theories, but the ego is akin to riding a horse(the it), the it isn't just the labido(not penor), it is the nothing that we once where, it is the godhead in Jungian psychology, the it is "what's it going to be, a boy or a girl doc" thats why it works. the formulation is also about first second and third perspective. from my point of view "he and she" are third person references" "wesley he, julia, she", because that's who they are (two of my close friends), from your point of veiw I would be a third person or second reference "jim he" in third point of veiw reference or "superego" when talking directly I would be your second point of view reference and you would be my second pov reference thus we would not say "he or she" when referring to ourselves. it is important to note however, unless in a group setting, two people talk to eachother, and I'm saying you need to reply back this is just general knowledge, those who but in conversations can be flying monkeys, which I don't consider people with adhd flying monkeys at all cause of distractions, and sense we are on a public forum many people can talk about topics cause this is a group setting forums are.

Ac = Bc this just isn't a refrent about time but people. and I'm still a little sketchy about this particular formulation however I will try to say what I know about it. A= person1, B = person 2, c = person 3 from either point of veiw where c is the it in freud's theory, this formulation has the "it" not external to us so not things out there, but inside us, where it is the ideal we place our once held perfection such as "nobodies perfect", or the ego ideal, the king we are subjects to. in Christianity that would be known as the holy ghost, the constituents of the nuclear family, we follow it (our heart, our unconscious, our feelings) to give it vision, quite litterly I might add. there are many universal goals in life, family, friends, good memories, we try to outwieght the bad with the good, the unversal goal is, seeing the world through new eyes. when we prospect the future we can see a goal to aim for, and then it guides us there, we also see several other goals not to aim for, it doesn't go there

this is when I started to know exactly who I am and am not based on self reflection, reflection on the past, and what I will address next (prospecting the future). personality is when we self reflect either to ourselfs or others to witness our personal traits and attributes, skillets and and we need to concentrate on with ourselves in mind. an example "personally I am a good cook" this way we bypass putting on a mask or persona" the difference between a mask or persona and a personality is with the "I" if I said " I am a cook" I would be nothing but a persona when it comes to cooking, however I am not a cook, I am personally a good cook. I can only really explain that in first person, our personality is in order of what we personally know about ourselves through time and what we are proud of ourselves about without being snug, but always humble. at first it is healthy egocentrisism, we do what we like because we do what we like, then when we get good share our treasures with the world. because time is the only thing we have really, the only person we own is ourselves. I would say the only form of willpower we want, that is if we want to be balanced (sense willpower is a rightbrain manifestation) is just enough to turn on the lights, both litterly and metaphorically. (literly is right brain, metaphorically is left brain) we know when we have personality because the slights others might give us, don't harm us as we develop mature ego defenses, that is altruism, humor, sublimation and a bit of suppression, where suppression works great in very tiny doses. we actually start to want criticism, are ok with being wrong cause we learn from being wrong, but are ok with being right as well because in learning, when are wrong, what we do that is right after being wrong usually turns out better. we know when we have the starting of personality or " a real Self" when we follow our own path, a weight feels like it has been lifted off our shoulder, we feel better all the time, we are more quick and agile in our thinking and even body movement, we are more capable of following through, when we reflect on the past we can incoperate forgotten parts into our ego if we want, or let those parts die off because they do not adequately describe us. such as, I drank for a long time, quit, when covid happened I drank again to sooth my nerves cause I tell ya what, the people here where I live, they just don't wear a facecovering (not pshychological mask a literal facecovering), I like to think they are ignorant about science besides not having any empathy. when I started concentrating on myself, and realized all this myself, I stopped drinking and taking clonapen to get to sleep instantly, that part of me I let die off and new parts of me manifested, parts I haven't even realized, it was like a giant weight was lifted as the fog of depression subsided and everything, became clearer and instantly I could recall parts of my past that do fit who I am through reflecting on the past, I properly mourned Austen death, keeping a promise we made together and imaginatively talking with him, and here I am, 8:00 is when I got up and started posting heheh. I'm even utilizing a calander properly, or starting to atleast, I put in it when I need to feed the plants in my garden next. and that thought leads me to the next thought.

prospecting the future. when we reflect on the past because we see ourselves in the reflecting back at us just what we look like, we know that back has a meaning besides just bodily back, we do the same with our frontside and can see a few options of our personal future we want to unfold. we choose one and follow it. this is called prospective future and the exciting thing about it is, that's usually when we stop projecting for the most part. I will explain, when we do something with an ego statement we can tell others how to do as much with a superego statement. if you want to start a garden, the first thing you do is get good soil, the next thing you do is buy some seeds which are pretty cheep or buy some already started plants from a nursery.

"the body ego"

our feelings come from our body and our inside, and also what we do, while, my suggestion is, we only have want enough willpower to power the lights "metaphorically and litterly", we get our sense of self from our emotional states. external states, are constructs, usefull constructs so we know where we are at besides "we are all at earth" but still abstract representation of the world because the world is constituted of people, idea's, places, things. depression, I firmly believe, is when we have very loose boundaries and don't know who we are, however, we are all containers (which I guess where the notion of ego as object comes from), that is hard to explain though, ehh, the ship of Theseus, in the ship of Theseus or just the myth of Theseus, Theseus navigates a labyrinth to kill the minatour of create, now we use myths to update ourselves sometimes, the representation of the minatour is death, the labyrinth, our lives and personal history and on a bigger scale, the world and everybody in it. Ariadne the kings daughter gave him a ball of string to go into and to exit the labrynth. the reason Theseus, in the myth by my reckoning went to face the minatour was because the king of create would not step aside, not realizing, just like king eazeakle(sp) from the bible, who the king actually is. adriena in the myth, or atleast her ball of string, is emotional resonance from the heart (pulling heartstrings). the king is no Man or Woman, the king is nobody. the passage out of the labrynth represents reflective capacity of life, especially our own. the only thing that has capacity is a container thus, to have capacity to do, to know, for have the capacity to have emotions, empathy, well-being for self and those around is to be a container, a vessel. to have hope is to have hope for the future cause we can't have hope for the past, nor the present. but by reflecting on the past we can reconstitute ourselfs with the abilities once lost or forgotten, kind of like getting back on a bicycle it just happens naturally. the far left in politics, just represent those who use the left side of their brain only, the far right, those who only use the right side of their brain only. concrete behavior and the way we operate in the world is finding our own way to crossection these two hemispheres, and we do that by noticing ourselves doing what we love the most.

personally, I'm a very good musician with regards to the guitar. the way I did it, I remember looking at my hands while playing the guitar and wondering "I wonder how my hands work while playing the guitar" my left hand is all about control and speed sometimes, sometimes not so much speed, often times I don't even look at what my left hand is doing thus visiospacial skills, those are indeed what the right hemisphere is, control, speed, visiospacial processing, concrete applications, when I looked at left hand, it is all about flow, and rythem, and caidence, and articulation and different finger styles, flamenco style, sweep picking, that's what the left hemisphere is for, flow, rythem, symbolic representation, I have a concervative friend I tried to explain what flamenco style picking was, no it was sweep picking was, to him, a pick is just a pick for guitar, for me and wondered what sweep and pick had in common., that lead me to think "sense he's a concervative and uses his right brain almost entirely, and the left hemisphere is all about variables and math and articulation and, no wonder he can't put together what sweep picking is when articulated", but by understanding both hemispheres and how people work cognitively, I didn't blame him, just tried to explain it to him. I have another friend who is the most conservative bent woman I've ever met, she couldn't grasp the concept in math that "x= a number" I remember explaining to her "the x is just a variable for the number", she couldn't grasp the concept no matter how many times we went over it. these evalualuations of how people are based on their political identity reflected which side of their brain they use most often, the "secretary of education" here in the states had a video where she had a bookshelf with NO BOOKS.

for the woman who didn't understand math, I thought how it made sense that she didn't understand math because she doesn't use the left side of her brain at all, I tried to explain to her how self reflecting works, that the "I" is a variable for the person because I never heard her self reflect, I remember thinking " people with adhd self reflect all the time, we are usually extremely good at abstract concepts, science, math, and the lot whith this woman had a difficult time using the simplest variable I could imagine" I tried to explain the science of covid , nothing stuck, she now spreads conspiracy theories about covid, how the entire world concocted a scheme and kept quite because of politics. and the secretary of education with no books, it makes sense, if extreme conservatives don't use the left hemisphere they wouldn't understand the flow and metaphor that is the magic of books.

for the extreme left however, they seem to lack a sense of duty, of self boundary control, they seem to want to tear things down (sometimes for the right reasons, sometimes not, I'm glad they tore down the slavery statues) cause when they do interesting stuff happens, the notion of any tradition, and I don't know them all, seems to be lost to them. for the far left and right, the notion of up seems to escape them.

and that's when I became way more centered, observing both sides with the knowledge I had. and not blaming either side but continuously asking myself "what can I do to make things better" I chose to have more duty(lol still cracks me up) and be with virtue, to have more zeal when I need it, and relax and take my time when needed. to feel my feelings , and to chart my projective journey because the next thing I want to talk about is


when we look deep inwardly and things line up and we see our highest value, we have direction. not like, literal direction front back, side to side, up down, but direction through life, I think it's called the path of loci, that is, inner locus of control, embodiment of truth. just like in our heads when say, we go for a walk we can map out how we are going to get their, the path of loci is similar but for an entire lifespan based on our personal ideal, life goals, time spent with friends family, job and so fourth. even stuff like "what a room is used for" everything and everyone becomes important, even the conservative friend is important to me. the best thing about boundaries, the path of loci and so on, is we start to understand when we are being manipulated by others, cause with this thread, I've told you what I've learned and some specifics which might help you I haven't told you how to be. however, I do recommend learning an instrument.

the best part about embodiment, and self ownership is we don't tell ourselves all the useless stuff anymore in our inner monologue " I am walking, I am doing, I am doing, I am I am I am", we trust our bodies, and lets say we walk to a place we just walk to the place without reminding ourselves about every footstep taken. and just how it is easier, way easier, to spend money that isn't ours, but when it comes to our own money we are a bit more conservative, same is true for self ownership, we stop taking ourselves for granted, start to realize our true potential and value what we do (and That of the self always grows, that we are so much more than we think we are). if you want to know if you are on the path or not tudorose there is a sure way of knowing, when you accurately self reflect about who you are based on strengths and weaknesses, past and present and future prospecting emotions, etc, you will hear an inner voice that is different than an inner monologue, when you develop the "personalty good at" part of your personality, that's when that happens.

you can also look up every concept I posted via ncbi or other sources, however this is something I didn't get to and it's a whopper, I do believe everybody who was born with adhd might need to read this link

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:32 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) 2003 - 2015 ADD Forums