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-   -   Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=187149)

Rebelyell 12-03-18 12:53 PM

Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III
 
Well Xmas is 3 weeks away and maybe just maybe your kids can put away their differences n let bygones be bygones n let the healing begin.not one of them has gotten away from hardships this year if any of them really want to be petty.life is too short for any of this silly bs.not trying to judge you or your family

Lunacie 12-03-18 12:55 PM

Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Rebelyell (Post 2011327)
Well Xmas is 3 weeks away and maybe just maybe your kids can't put away their difference n let bygones be bygones n let the healing begin.not one of them has gotten away from hardships this year if any of them really want to be petty.life is too short for any of this silly bs

Don't discount their feelings, they may have a perfectly valid basis.

My brother is just like my dad was, expecting the family to come for holiday
dinner, but then talking to the in-laws, watching tv, or taking a nap.

A few years ago I decided it wasn't worth driving so far just to be ignored and
I stopped going.

sarahsweets 12-04-18 05:29 AM

Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III
 
<div style="width:100%;height:0px;position:relative;pad ding-bottom:56.338%;"><iframe src="https://streamable.com/s/zvj9s/eqeyde" frameborder="0" width="100%" height="100%" allowfullscreen style="width:100%;height:100%;position:absolute;le ft:0px;top:0px;overflow:hidden;"></iframe></div>
I just had to share this...the school was so kind to give her a small ceremony so we could take pictures and all that. What a journey this has been. She did it though. She has her diploma.

Fuzzy12 12-04-18 07:56 AM

Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by sarahsweets (Post 2011366)
<div style="width:100%;height:0px;position:relative;pad ding-bottom:56.338%;"><iframe src="https://streamable.com/s/zvj9s/eqeyde" frameborder="0" width="100%" height="100%" allowfullscreen style="width:100%;height:100%;position:absolute;le ft:0px;top:0px;overflow:hidden;"></iframe></div>
I just had to share this...the school was so kind to give her a small ceremony so we could take pictures and all that. What a journey this has been. She did it though. She has her diploma.

Gosh Sarah. Thanks for sharing. This actually has me in tears. It obviously means a lot to her. Well done Becca!!

Fuzzy12 12-04-18 07:58 AM

Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III
 
I'm going to have a nice relaxed cup of tea while I post and that's it. No other requirements or pressure for now (called in sick to work).

psychopathetic 12-04-18 08:03 AM

Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III
 
OH LOOK!!!!!

IT'S A BALLOON!!!

WEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

...Oh...sorry...I kinda got distracted there! :lol:

This was so sweet! Seeing her so happy that it brought tears to her eyes! Omg!! <3

((((((((Rebecca)))))))

:yes: :yes: :yes:

psychopathetic 12-04-18 08:07 AM

Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzy12 (Post 2011371)
I'm going to have a nice relaxed cup of tea while I post and that's it. No other requirements or pressure for now (called in sick to work).

NOPE!

I wont have it!
You've too many important things to do! Absolutely NO time to be sitting around sipping tea and chatting away!!
There's a real long list...it goes on and on..

1.) Give psycho lots and lots of e-(((hugs)))
2.) Give psycho lots and lots of e-(((hugs)))
3.) Give psycho lots and lots of e-(((hugs)))
4.) .......
5.) ...
6.) ..

So I'm sorry to be bursting your bubble Fuzz Fuzz...but you've got quite the busy day ahead of you!!

:giggle:

(((Fuzz)))

SO glad you're giving yourself a day off...and SUPER happy that you're not beating yourself up for doing so. You need this and you deserve it!

Fuzzy12 12-04-18 08:15 AM

Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by sarahsweets (Post 2011316)
So if any of you followed my thread about my daughter Becca leaving then you know it has been one long sh*t show. She never graduated from High school. The school had let her finish the little bit of work she had left to do (because she had good grades previous to the sh*t show) and she has graduated. The really nice thing is that the counselor who has been an integral part of our coping has arranged for us to go to the school today so she can put on her cap and gown and the principal wants to present her with her diploma. We get to take a couple of pictured to. I really thought all was lost last March when it all went down. I am relieved she made it. I feel bad because I do not feel proud necessarily, I feel relief and gratitude. I am so glad she didnt ruin her chances at a diploma. Things are not good between Becca and my son Jake. Not only does he not want to go, he really doesnt want to see her and because its imperative that we avoid raisning his heart rate at all, or stressing him out I am not going to force him. I do hope he shows his face downstairs to at least let her say hello to him. It so hard to see my children in this triangle of pain. Ella goes between feeling so angry and sad about her sister-relieved that things are getting better but resentful that she is now back-mad that she left to begin with. Jake told me in the hospital that he doesnt think Becca loves him. It really scares me because I dont know if she does or doesnt. He is so afraid of her that I do not know if he does either. I think Becca is going to participate in some of our Christmas traditions with us so something has to give. I do not want it to be tense and anxiety ridden around the holidays. I hate that she did what she did because it started with a hairline fracture and turned into a compound one. The divide seems to be getting wider and wider. I wonder if it will ever get to a point that we can call "normal". She will have 7 months of sobriety on the 13th. I want my children to love each other again. It is so hard to compartimentalize my feelings for them all.

I have spent my whole life trying to sort out my family dynamics (unsuccessfully) and feeling rubbish at failing. I can so relate to not wanting tension and anxiety because of conflicts but the person who gets most tensed and anxious (and therefore fuels the conflicts) is me. And I can relate hoping that certain family members will do little acts of courtesy (and often pushing them or requesting them to) because I know it will mean a lot to someone else.

Unlike me I know you are doing more than just feeling bad about it but also.please know that this isn't necessarily your job. I mean as a parent i guess maybe you feel everything that relates to the kids is your job and maybe in a way it is but not everything is under our control. They are good and strong kids. Becca too. You've given them a good foundation. They probably do love each other but they may need time to deal with all the other stuff, resentment and confusion, to let that love show. They know you and your husband love them and I think that will carry them through this.

Fuzzy12 12-04-18 08:18 AM

Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by psychopathetic (Post 2011374)
NOPE!

I wont have it!
You've too many important things to do! Absolutely NO time to be sitting around sipping tea and chatting away!!
There's a real long list...it goes on and on..

1.) Give psycho lots and lots of e-(((hugs)))
2.) Give psycho lots and lots of e-(((hugs)))
3.) Give psycho lots and lots of e-(((hugs)))
4.) .......
5.) ...
6.) ..

So I'm sorry to be bursting your bubble Fuzz Fuzz...but you've got quite the busy day ahead of you!!

:giggle:

(((Fuzz)))

SO glad you're giving yourself a day off...and SUPER happy that you're not beating yourself up for doing so. You need this and you deserve it!

Psycho no idea what's wrong with me but now your post is making me cry as well. I think I'm going to head over to the game threads next to continue the cry fest. Gosh, I feel so guilty for not posting these days..I'm glad you still like me. :)

psychopathetic 12-04-18 08:45 AM

Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III
 
OH NO!!!

I MADE THE FUZZINATOR CRY!!

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/19/4b...5ef3635450.jpg

:p

/hearts his Fuzzy-Wuzzy

http://www.heliumxpress.com/v/vspfil...s/424066-2.jpg

Lunacie 12-04-18 12:55 PM

Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III
 
Tonight is Game Night for the autistic young adults. Nove enjoyed it last time
and wants to go again. Just waiting to see if the migraine rears it's ugly head
and keeps me from going with.

They meet at Headshots Bar and Grill ... sounds like a strange place for young
people to meet up, but they have awesome video games and not so awesome
bar food. It was good to talk to other parents who are dealing with the same
issues ... what these kids can do after graduation.


So excited to be planning a visit to my older granddaughter over Christmas.
She and her roommates are moving to a bigger apartment that weekend.
Those guys need a cleaning lady like Psycho has to keep it from looking like
the last place. Chinese buffet on Christmas day and IKEA the day before. Yay!

psychopathetic 12-08-18 05:53 AM

Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III
 
So I have a lady who's been helping keep my life glued together and has been helping me get my apartment in order (I've got a lot to do yet...but she's super patient and knows how to push me just gently enough to where I haven't started resenting her...but enough to actually get things done).

She really wants me out doing something. I don't know why I'm so reluctant. Could it be that I'm just simply too lazy?

She wants me to volunteer. And I mean...I want to do it too...but again, I feel very reluctant. I wish I knew why. Everyone wants to know why.

Well she put her foot down yesterday and said...we ARE walking into one of my favorite places in the world (an amazingly lovely nursing home I was lucky enough to work at for a short period of time) this week to go talk to the director of the place (who I absolutely love. She's such a sweet heart...lol she have gave me a big warm hug after I'd quit and told me everything was going to be okay <3).

The lady helping me said she never wants to tell me what I "HAVE" to do...she doesn't want to play that role in my life (and indeed...if she did start doing that with me. I'm quite sure I'd start shutting down and pushing her away very quickly)...but that she will be frustrated if I don't do this with her.
She told me I don't have to commit to anything just yet. She just wants me to go in and see if I'd even be allowed to volunteer...and I also want to make it very clear to the director that I don't even want to volunteer...I want to hang around as a visitor. I don't want to be there to help the staff members doing stuff...I want to be there for the lovelies who live there. I want to spend as much time as I want sitting down with them and chatting, without feeling like I have any obligations to the staff members or facility. I want to be there to be a friend...not a worker.

Maybe I'm being over confident...but I'm almost positive the director of the place will be thrilled to have me back. I was such a positive force when I worked there. I was always walking around with my head held high and a big massive cheesy grin on my face. And before my boss really started to get down on me about it...I was spending quite a bit of time with the lovelies...and I was always up and down and running around offering them coffees or juices, popcorn, ice cream (haha they legit had an all you can eat popcorn machine and ice cream cone machine in the front loby!! :D). I loved being with them. I was so damn good at it...and I could almost feel the physical need for it from them. They just wanted to feel like someone cared about them...they just wanted someone to be with them.
Things really started to go down hill fast for me when my boss sat me down and straight up told me that I could not keep sitting down with them. That the facility wasn't a 1on1 facility, it wasn't my job, and I had too many things I had to get done each day.

...
But yeah. I'm reluctant. I want to go there...and I don't. It doesn't make much sense to me...
I am anxious about going in this week. Scared.
But I'm also excited.
Being an unpayed person there is something I've been wanting to do for a couple of years...an I keep talking about it, but it never happens. I do that a lot...talk big...make big plans...then do nothing about it >.<'.
I think maybe I need this lady to be doing what she's doing. Gently pushing me forward. It's like I simply can't do it alone. And I'm trying not to beat myself up over that...it just is what it is. I've proven over and over again that I struggle deeply with stuff like this when I'm expected to do it on my own.
Having someone there who isn't judging me or doesn't show any hints of disliking me...means everything to me. It brings out a strength I don't have when alone. It gives me encouragement and helps me better stick with things.

And she's really sweet too...cause she's committed to not just going in and talking with the director with me this week...but also to go in and sit with the lovelies if I decide to do so...and I think in a way I'm actually helping her in a way too...cause I get the sense that this is something she'd love to do herself...so she's going to get the opportunity to do this...through me. Does that makes sense?
It's like we're both going to help each other do something we've been pushing off for a long period of time.

I wish I had some clothes that fit me /sigh :(. I'd REALLY like to clean up for this...but I've really gone overboard on this Christmas stuff this year (and I gave up months ago with my p.o.s. so called "case manager" I fired...who told me he'd help me get clothes).
I am going to do a load of laundry tomorrow morning...but dang, it'd be nice to walk in there with my shirts all buttoned up (/sigh...I still wear the shirts, but I've not been able to button them since my mom passed.../grrr...I really put on a lot of weight after she passed away...I was eating fast food almost every single day trying to fill in this never ending void).
Oh well...it's not going to happen. At least I'll have a clean shirt an pants to wear.

I'm nervous about this...but it's something I've wanted for a long time...it's just something I've not been able to do on my own.
I'm glad I have this lady who's helping me push forward.
I feel so damn lucky to have found her. We click on so many levels...and the biggest thing with her...is that she's just so damn low key and non-judgmental. I can NOT work with people who I think are always disappointed or annoyed with me, or people who judgeme and think I'm just a lazy a-hole or whatever. I clam up real tight around those people and build up a ton of resentments and start avoiding them like the plague (like what happened with my old crappy case manager who was a completely snobbish judgmental condescending a-hole).

I do fear that maybe I'll start growing resistant to her as well...and it's something I expressed to her and that we've talked about...but so far I'm loving her. It feels like she's just the sort of person I've always probably needed in my life. She is a professional, and I do view our relationship in that way...but at the same time, I really do consider her a friend as well. I absolutely love when she's over and we just sit around chatting. We have great conversations!

I might clam up on her and start pushing her away eventually...I seem to do that a lot with people. But for now, and the past few months...it's been very good.

...
Okay, I'm done with my ridiculously long ramble haha.

:grouphug:

(((Hugs)))

Lunacie 12-08-18 12:00 PM

Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by psychopathetic (Post 2011537)
So I have a lady who's been helping keep my life glued together and has been helping me get my apartment in order (I've got a lot to do yet...but she's super patient and knows how to push me just gently enough to where I haven't started resenting her...but enough to actually get things done).

She really wants me out doing something. I don't know why I'm so reluctant. Could it be that I'm just simply too lazy?

She wants me to volunteer. And I mean...I want to do it too...but again, I feel very reluctant. I wish I knew why. Everyone wants to know why.

Well she put her foot down yesterday and said...we ARE walking into one of my favorite places in the world (an amazingly lovely nursing home I was lucky enough to work at for a short period of time) this week to go talk to the director of the place (who I absolutely love. She's such a sweet heart...lol she have gave me a big warm hug after I'd quit and told me everything was going to be okay <3).

The lady helping me said she never wants to tell me what I "HAVE" to do...she doesn't want to play that role in my life (and indeed...if she did start doing that with me. I'm quite sure I'd start shutting down and pushing her away very quickly)...but that she will be frustrated if I don't do this with her.
She told me I don't have to commit to anything just yet. She just wants me to go in and see if I'd even be allowed to volunteer...and I also want to make it very clear to the director that I don't even want to volunteer...I want to hang around as a visitor. I don't want to be there to help the staff members doing stuff...I want to be there for the lovelies who live there. I want to spend as much time as I want sitting down with them and chatting, without feeling like I have any obligations to the staff members or facility. I want to be there to be a friend...not a worker.

Maybe I'm being over confident...but I'm almost positive the director of the place will be thrilled to have me back. I was such a positive force when I worked there. I was always walking around with my head held high and a big massive cheesy grin on my face. And before my boss really started to get down on me about it...I was spending quite a bit of time with the lovelies...and I was always up and down and running around offering them coffees or juices, popcorn, ice cream (haha they legit had an all you can eat popcorn machine and ice cream cone machine in the front loby!! :D). I loved being with them. I was so damn good at it...and I could almost feel the physical need for it from them. They just wanted to feel like someone cared about them...they just wanted someone to be with them.
Things really started to go down hill fast for me when my boss sat me down and straight up told me that I could not keep sitting down with them. That the facility wasn't a 1on1 facility, it wasn't my job, and I had too many things I had to get done each day.

...
But yeah. I'm reluctant. I want to go there...and I don't. It doesn't make much sense to me...
I am anxious about going in this week. Scared.
But I'm also excited.
Being an unpayed person there is something I've been wanting to do for a couple of years...an I keep talking about it, but it never happens. I do that a lot...talk big...make big plans...then do nothing about it >.<'.
I think maybe I need this lady to be doing what she's doing. Gently pushing me forward. It's like I simply can't do it alone. And I'm trying not to beat myself up over that...it just is what it is. I've proven over and over again that I struggle deeply with stuff like this when I'm expected to do it on my own.
Having someone there who isn't judging me or doesn't show any hints of disliking me...means everything to me. It brings out a strength I don't have when alone. It gives me encouragement and helps me better stick with things.

And she's really sweet too...cause she's committed to not just going in and talking with the director with me this week...but also to go in and sit with the lovelies if I decide to do so...and I think in a way I'm actually helping her in a way too...cause I get the sense that this is something she'd love to do herself...so she's going to get the opportunity to do this...through me. Does that makes sense?
It's like we're both going to help each other do something we've been pushing off for a long period of time.

I wish I had some clothes that fit me /sigh :(. I'd REALLY like to clean up for this...but I've really gone overboard on this Christmas stuff this year (and I gave up months ago with my p.o.s. so called "case manager" I fired...who told me he'd help me get clothes).
I am going to do a load of laundry tomorrow morning...but dang, it'd be nice to walk in there with my shirts all buttoned up (/sigh...I still wear the shirts, but I've not been able to button them since my mom passed.../grrr...I really put on a lot of weight after she passed away...I was eating fast food almost every single day trying to fill in this never ending void).
Oh well...it's not going to happen. At least I'll have a clean shirt an pants to wear.

I'm nervous about this...but it's something I've wanted for a long time...it's just something I've not been able to do on my own.
I'm glad I have this lady who's helping me push forward.
I feel so damn lucky to have found her. We click on so many levels...and the biggest thing with her...is that she's just so damn low key and non-judgmental. I can NOT work with people who I think are always disappointed or annoyed with me, or people who judgeme and think I'm just a lazy a-hole or whatever. I clam up real tight around those people and build up a ton of resentments and start avoiding them like the plague (like what happened with my old crappy case manager who was a completely snobbish judgmental condescending a-hole).

I do fear that maybe I'll start growing resistant to her as well...and it's something I expressed to her and that we've talked about...but so far I'm loving her. It feels like she's just the sort of person I've always probably needed in my life. She is a professional, and I do view our relationship in that way...but at the same time, I really do consider her a friend as well. I absolutely love when she's over and we just sit around chatting. We have great conversations!

I might clam up on her and start pushing her away eventually...I seem to do that a lot with people. But for now, and the past few months...it's been very good.

...
Okay, I'm done with my ridiculously long ramble haha.

:grouphug:

(((Hugs)))

That sounds lovely, just being able to share your sweet self with people who
may be lonely.

Do you have a thrift shop in your area. Swap groups for plus sizes? Facebook
marketplace? I wasn't able to have new clothes until I retired and began getting
social security payments. Everything was from thrift shops, yard sales, or swap
groups.

midnightstar 12-08-18 12:20 PM

Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III
 
:grouphug:s psycho, you are such a wonderful person :grouphug:

tudorose 12-10-18 09:46 AM

Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III
 
I'm so lucky. But I'm beyond exhaustion from digging so many holes, laying so many bricks. Who knew how much digging is involved when moving into a house!! Retic is half in now onto prepping for grass. I suspect Christmas day will be spent brick paving seeing as both kids and their partners have decided to go camping for Christmas.

So it means our first Christmas alone ever. Which is actually kind of cool even if a bit weird. And I hope my kids have fun not doing the family thing. As a family we're not great on special occasions. So if they have more fun with friends then that's good. As long as it's fun

I'm rambling. So Very tired


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