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-   -   Life crushing anxiety (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=188144)

Fraser_0762 10-01-17 10:11 AM

Life crushing anxiety
 
I'm so tired of this. I'm so sick of people getting angry at me and telling me i'm just plain lazy. They don't seem to understand just how much energy anxiety robs from me.

I'm now at that point where i'm even tired of feeling tired. Every little thing gets to me now. Every slight noise sounds like an unbearable screech in my ears. Natural light burns through my eye sockets, everything I touch nibbles away at my skin, every smell is nauseating and everything just tastes bland.

Doing nothing is hard work, doing anything else is out of the question. I wake up but I don't, I got to sleep but I don't and there's no inbetween.

midnightstar 10-01-17 10:19 AM

Re: Life crushing anxiety
 
Many hugs for you Fraser :grouphug:

Greyhound1 10-01-17 12:06 PM

Re: Life crushing anxiety
 
Hey Fraser,
I can totally relate to anxiety taking over and stealing our life. It sucks and makes life seem like such a hopeless and painful waste of time.

I hope you continue to seek out treatment until you find something that improves your quality of life.

Best wishes!

Little Missy 10-01-17 12:59 PM

Re: Life crushing anxiety
 
I would go to the doc's office every day with my lunch and not leave until they lock the door and then be back when they open them in the morning, throw in some tears intermittently and do not quit until you are helped.

No one can live with that kind of anxiety. I couldn't, my dad couldn't. Pharmaceuticals are made for this and they will change your life. I wish I could whip them all into shape over there.

Fraser_0762 10-01-17 01:15 PM

Re: Life crushing anxiety
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Little Missy (Post 1966414)
I would go to the doc's office every day with my lunch and not leave until they lock the door and then be back when they open them in the morning, throw in some tears intermittently and do not quit until you are helped.

No one can live with that kind of anxiety. I couldn't, my dad couldn't. Pharmaceuticals are made for this and they will change your life. I wish I could whip them all into shape over there.

I can't, it's too much effort for nothing. Besides, pharmaceuticals exist to make money, make no mistake about it.

stef 10-01-17 01:59 PM

Re: Life crushing anxiety
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Fraser_0762 (Post 1966415)
I can't, it's too much effort for nothing. Besides, pharmaceuticals exist to make money, make no mistake about it.

well yes, it's an industry and with all of the bad sides of it;
but antidepressants saved my mom's life
and well I have now, much less anxiety with adhd meds,

I mean i didn't even know that I had been living with anxiety most of my life, that's the difference it made!

please don't rule out meds because of the negative sides of the industry
( and believe i know , my dad was a pharmeceutical salesman...)

Little Missy 10-01-17 02:42 PM

Re: Life crushing anxiety
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Fraser_0762 (Post 1966415)
I can't, it's too much effort for nothing. Besides, pharmaceuticals exist to make money, make no mistake about it.

well, of course they make money. No one works for nothing. That is like cutting off your nose to spite your face. Besides, I'd rather feel relatively good than always bad.:)

finallyfound10 10-01-17 04:01 PM

Re: Life crushing anxiety
 
(((Fraser)))

I hope you feel better, Scottish friend.

sarahsweets 10-02-17 09:29 AM

Re: Life crushing anxiety
 
Yes they are for profit but so is everything. That doesnt mean they dont work.

aeon 10-02-17 12:03 PM

Re: Life crushing anxiety
 
I'm done with anxiety too. So done.

I'm sitting in the doctor's office now.

I said I was unwilling to continue the previous approach.

He asked me what I would hope he would do.

I said get me on the lorazepam already. It's gotta be better than alcohol, self-injury, and eating boatloads of candy (not good as a diabetic).

So Ativan it is. I'm riding the benzo train at last, after way too much suffering.

Part of it was actually writing down what my experience is, so I didn't have to rely on my crap memory.

Plus, I made a point of trying to not be a people pleaser this time.

I wrote:

Quote:

My anxiety is not event-related. It just comes. I had a resting pulse of 140.

I’m not thinking of anything in particular, and when it happens, I am not thinking of anything...I just have the feeling of wanting to run and hide, and I am afraid if someone said something to me I would either be so startled I would flinch or I would explode at them out of rippling fear. I grind my teeth, my breathing is shallow, and it is hard to swallow. I tremble and it is hard to sit in my seat such is the wild, racing feeling of wanting to flee. I can feel my heart pound. My mental state is just blank, and I couldn’t think coherently if I wanted to. The feeling is one of wanting to escape, but knowing there is nowhere to go, no escape. It provokes a feeling of it being better off dead, because the experience feels unbearable. It doesn’t feel like I am dying...it just feels like acute anxiety.

I can’t explain it any better than that. The one thing I am sure of is that it does not seem related to the outside world...it seems like something of my own body, without thoughts or feelings leading to it coming on.
That really helped them to see I had a problem, and one that was going unaddressed.

Dexedrine, Wellbutrin, Remeron, and Ativan. God bless Big Pharma.


Cheers,
Ian

Fraser_0762 10-02-17 02:19 PM

Re: Life crushing anxiety
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by aeon (Post 1966501)
Dexedrine, Wellbutrin, Remeron, and Ativan. God bless Big Pharma.


Cheers,
Ian

This sort of thing terrifies me. Short term artificial relief with highly likely long term consequences.

Little Missy 10-02-17 02:33 PM

Re: Life crushing anxiety
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Fraser_0762 (Post 1966527)
This sort of thing terrifies me. Short term artificial relief with highly likely long term consequences.

It shouldn't be terrifying.

I've taken amphetamines and benzodiazepines non-stop for 20+ years. I'm productive, responsible and trustworthy.

Long term proven relief, nary a consequence.

aeon 10-02-17 02:54 PM

Re: Life crushing anxiety
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Fraser_0762 (Post 1966527)
This sort of thing terrifies me. Short term artificial relief with highly likely long term consequences.

Without them, I would experience the short-term consequence of being dead. http://www.sympato.ch/smileys/dead.gif

I chose the alternative.

And to be honest, Iíve never worried too much about what tomorrow will bring.

On account of the time-blindness as part of my ADHD, I do kinda live in the moment. http://www.sympato.ch/smileys/Jumpup.gif

For what it is worth, a decade-plus of cannabis, psilocybin, mescaline, and lysergic acid diethylamide didnít do me in (not recommending them, mind you), so Iím not particularly worried.

Iíve taken the Dex for years, the Wellbutrin for years, Iíve had the Remeron before, and Iíve had a few different benzodiazepines a handful of times over the years. None of these meds are new to me, and I know the risk potentials and what to look for.

I can appreciate you are terrified. Learn about the clinical history of these medications. I think that will help greatly.

Cold steel will heal, and better living through chemistry. http://www.sympato.ch/smileys/Yaisse.gif


Cheers,
Ian

Fraser_0762 10-02-17 04:12 PM

Re: Life crushing anxiety
 
I know some people are like immune to ever experiencing the worst effects. But how many people are really that lucky? It seems that most people seem to hit a brickwall at some point and find themselves in a worse place than they were to begin with. I couldn't imagine being in a worse place than I am right now.

Little Missy 10-02-17 04:18 PM

Re: Life crushing anxiety
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Fraser_0762 (Post 1966556)
I know some people are like immune to ever experiencing the worst effects. But how many people are really that lucky? It seems that most people seem to hit a brickwall at some point and find themselves in a worse place than they were to begin with. I couldn't imagine being in a worse place than I am right now.

Then go for the better place :)


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