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-   -   Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal? (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=191181)

psychopathetic 04-12-18 04:06 PM

Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
Do you ever feel like people dismiss your struggles and your need for help because you seem so normal?
It's like the outside world sees the good side of you, and you seem SO capable and SO enthusiastic for life. So they view you as a normal, healthy person more than capable of doing what needs doing without any assistance.
They don't see the side of you that struggles. And even after explaining to them your difficulties, they still seem to dismiss you because they just don't see the other side of things.

I'm going through this right now with some professionals I'm working with...and I'm just wondering if anyone else experiences anything like this.

:grouphug:

stef 04-12-18 04:30 PM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
YES, every single day.
And there are a couple of things I can do very well at work so people just think i'm a little spacey or whatever but no, I can't process Voices Giving Instructions and sometimes I can't even see right in front of me, the static in my head is so bad.

midnightstar 04-12-18 04:58 PM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
yes and nobody sees my struggles because nobody wants to see.

Lunacie 04-12-18 06:36 PM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
When we try to explain, others say "But I do that too."

They can't seem to understand the difference between locking your keys in the
car once a year and locking the keys in the car once a month along with your
cell phone and purse/wallet.

The more I've had to rely on walking with canes, using a walker, and using an
electric cart for shopping, the more I see people being kind, rushing to help me.
But the adhd / autism / bipolar / etc. is invisible and no one thinks about what
they can do to help us.

Greyhound1 04-12-18 07:54 PM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
I don’t feel recognition or dismissed. Almost everyone, I meet and work with have their own problems or issues and could care less about mine. I don’t share my struggles with them because most really don’t want to hear it.

I work extra hard to hide my struggles with ADHD at work. In the past it has only gotten me judged and questioned by owner of the company.:rolleyes:

He asked me how it was going to effect my performance at work when he heard I had been diagnosed. I happily told him, I was born with it, had it when he hired me and the whole time I’ve worked there. My performance had never been questioned before and I have an outstanding track record. Treatment has only made it better.;)

The good thing is what I lack in ability, I usually make up for with tenacity at work. I use many props to help me seem normal, proficient and super conscientious. Some are good things like notes everywhere, cheat sheets etc. and some are bad like obsessive thoughts and overly concerned.

I just try my best to fake it and make it though each day.

finallyfound10 04-12-18 09:59 PM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
No, but that is only because nobody knows. Those of you that let people know are far emotionally healthier than I am.

Lunacie 04-12-18 10:27 PM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by finallyfound10 (Post 1991506)
No, but that is only because nobody knows. Those of you that let people know are far emotionally healthier than I am.

Long before I had a diagnosis, long before I even had an idea what the problem is,
I knew there was a problem. But others said I was being whiny, being a baby,
trying to manipulate them.

I tried to explain the struggle, to get someone to see it was real. But without
the diagnosis I was faking or lazy. Or manipulative. The struggle was dismissed.

stef 04-13-18 12:28 AM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
OMG yes, the "I do that too"... and I of course will only tell people I like and trust ( Ive told a few colleagues), and naturally they are kind and interested, but their reaction is usually the rather puzzled, "everyone does that".

It really is very difficult to explain. the next one i'm going to try is: "you know that feeling you get when you walk into a room and forgot what you went there to get? That is the permanent state of my mind because my brain does not process information correctly".

psychopathetic 04-13-18 12:50 AM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by stef (Post 1991514)
I of course will only tell people I like and trust ( Ive told a few colleagues)

Yeah, I've become more and more guarded on who I tell anymore. The professionals I'm working with that I mentioned above...are mental health professionals (case managers and therapist).

Quote:

their reaction is usually the rather puzzled, "everyone does that"
Yeah, this is another thing I've been experiencing.
I had to get a new therapist recently (like 6 months ago)...and I kid you not, right after I explained a few things about me and my adhd to her in our first session...she giggled and said "You know? I think I must have a little bit of ADHD too."

lol :doh:
I sure wish I only had a "little bit" of it.


Also I'm in a new therapy group...and I told them about adhd in one of the sessions...but before I began, I made it very clear to them that everyone has these symptoms, but those with adhd have them to such an extreme that they can absolutely be a disability to them, effecting every aspect of their lives over their entire life span. That they don't just have these symptoms once in awhile like everyone else...but they have them frequently, consistently over long stretches of time.

Kaia.S 04-13-18 04:36 AM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
My friends don't take it very serious, because:

- i've been getting by 'just fine' without the diagnose and treatment, so it's more like a 'luxury' to have it
- they keep on asking me: i do this and that, could i also have adhd?
- some even see taking the medication as a weakness: me being dependant on something and i can feel them thinking 'it's not really necessary'. One of my friends is going through a depression, but she doesn't want to seek professional help because 'she doesn't believe in that'. She thinks a relationship would be her solution, i didn't agree and then she compared me taking medication with her need for a man in her life... au that was painful, and also raising doubt in me: could that be true? If so: i 'm having a good relationship with Concerta, he brings out the best of me ;)

sarahsweets 04-13-18 05:21 AM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
Not dismissed but downplayed or...invalidated sometimes. I do not talk often with anyone about my issues unless I am very close with them or the subject pops up. I try not to because I do not want to be that person who only talks about whats wrong with them-even though I wouldnt mind some ideas or help from other people.

unomie 04-13-18 05:21 AM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
On the contrary, I told one of my pals I was getting diagnosed next week and he said 'it's about ******* time'

...How did everyone see this but me? and why did no one tell me :/ - being nicknamed 'spaceman' for the past 12 years should've been a hint I guess...

psychopathetic 04-13-18 06:39 AM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
For what it's worth Kaja, I think you and Concerta make a lovely couple!

:giggle:

(((Kaja)))

Little Nut 04-13-18 09:31 AM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
Hi Psych, I find they do. Most have no perspective for such things. TBH I am "hardwired" to not discuss these type of things except w/ close friends and on an as-needed basis. If I needed to give perspective I would draw talking points from a list of symptoms (for lack of a better word) and examples of real-life impacts. FWIW I think you can see from your post yesterday and the responses that your struggles in this area seem to be pretty common and not fully addressed by all (including me). -LN

Still doing things because you want to do them?

PoppnNSailinMan 04-14-18 02:28 AM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by psychopathetic (Post 1991482)
Do you ever feel like people dismiss your struggles and your need for help because you seem so normal?

Last year, I had an appointment with a psychiatric nurse practitioner to find out about the possibility of seeing a therapist and after he found out that I had been to college, he told me that I was "too functional" to need to see a therapist.

This was, in my opinion, a ridiculous thing for him to say. Although they might not all want to admit it, almost everyone has some issues that crop up in their life from time to time and could benefit from seeing a therapist. I don't think anyone is "too functional" in this regard.

Then more recently, another professional referred to me as "high-functioning." The first thing that crossed my mind was, if I'm so "high-functioning," why have I struggled so much of my life to do a lot of fairly basic things? And if I'm "high-functioning," would a person who doesn't have ADHD or some other disorder be considered "super-high-functioning"?

I looked this term up and discovered that this is part of the lingo that mental health professionals use, for example, to describe people with Autism, dividing them up into low-, medium- or high-functioning individuals. And even people with depression or Bipolar Disorder or other mental conditions can sometimes be divided into low-functioning and high-functioning individuals.

Compared to someone who has severe ADHD or severe Autism, I agree that I'm probably more functional overall. And on an intellectual level, I might consider myself "high functioning". But when it comes to things like keeping my house clean, making sure I have clean clothes to wear, preparing food for myself and making sure I eat regularly, staying socially connected, making sure my bills get paid, being able to finish things in a timely manner or finish them at all, etc., I'm more towards the "low functioning" end. Most of my life, I've lived with someone, either my parents or a partner, who did a lot of those things for me or reminded me to do them.

So, instead of "high-functioning," maybe "medium-functioning" would have been a more accurate description for me. :)

daveddd 04-14-18 03:41 AM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by PoppnNSailinMan (Post 1991615)
Last year, I had an appointment with a psychiatric nurse practitioner to find out about the possibility of seeing a therapist and after he found out that I had been to college, he told me that I was "too functional" to need to see a therapist.

This was, in my opinion, a ridiculous thing for him to say. Although they might not all want to admit it, almost everyone has some issues that crop up in their life from time to time and could benefit from seeing a therapist. I don't think anyone is "too functional" in this regard.

Then more recently, another professional referred to me as "high-functioning." The first thing that crossed my mind was, if I'm so "high-functioning," why have I struggled so much of my life to do a lot of fairly basic things? And if I'm "high-functioning," would a person who doesn't have ADHD or some other disorder be considered "super-high-functioning"?

I looked this term up and discovered that this is part of the lingo that mental health professionals use, for example, to describe people with Autism, dividing them up into low-, medium- or high-functioning individuals. And even people with depression or Bipolar Disorder or other mental conditions can sometimes be divided into low-functioning and high-functioning individuals.

Compared to someone who has severe ADHD or severe Autism, I agree that I'm probably more functional overall. And on an intellectual level, I might consider myself "high functioning". But when it comes to things like keeping my house clean, making sure I have clean clothes to wear, preparing food for myself and making sure I eat regularly, staying socially connected, making sure my bills get paid, being able to finish things in a timely manner or finish them at all, etc., I'm more towards the "low functioning" end. Most of my life, I've lived with someone, either my parents or a partner, who did a lot of those things for me or reminded me to do them.

So, instead of "high-functioning," maybe "medium-functioning" would have been a more accurate description for me. :)

sadly mental health is going more and more towards the DSM type of outward difficulties in life and ignoring internal feelings which are far more important

so often i hear after a suicide

but he had a good job, was married and got good grades in school

the mental health system is severely flawed as your therapist made apparent

daveddd 04-14-18 03:47 AM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
to the original post

yes, i might be viewed as an ideal upper middle class citizen\

emotionally healthy, because i see me "complaining " about my emotions or problems to others as a disgusting burden

i refuse to fail at anything because of the emotional toll it would take on me


but really, I'm empty , unfulfilled . i feel like a fraud and a failure and see life as just wasting time till i die

no one would get that though, cause I'm so normal

Lunacie 04-14-18 09:57 AM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by PoppnNSailinMan (Post 1991615)
Last year, I had an appointment with a psychiatric nurse practitioner to find out about the possibility of seeing a therapist and after he found out that I had been to college, he told me that I was "too functional" to need to see a therapist.

This was, in my opinion, a ridiculous thing for him to say. Although they might not all want to admit it, almost everyone has some issues that crop up in their life from time to time and could benefit from seeing a therapist. I don't think anyone is "too functional" in this regard.

Then more recently, another professional referred to me as "high-functioning." The first thing that crossed my mind was, if I'm so "high-functioning," why have I struggled so much of my life to do a lot of fairly basic things? And if I'm "high-functioning," would a person who doesn't have ADHD or some other disorder be considered "super-high-functioning"?

I looked this term up and discovered that this is part of the lingo that mental health professionals use, for example, to describe people with Autism, dividing them up into low-, medium- or high-functioning individuals. And even people with depression or Bipolar Disorder or other mental conditions can sometimes be divided into low-functioning and high-functioning individuals.

Compared to someone who has severe ADHD or severe Autism, I agree that I'm probably more functional overall. And on an intellectual level, I might consider myself "high functioning". But when it comes to things like keeping my house clean, making sure I have clean clothes to wear, preparing food for myself and making sure I eat regularly, staying socially connected, making sure my bills get paid, being able to finish things in a timely manner or finish them at all, etc., I'm more towards the "low functioning" end. Most of my life, I've lived with someone, either my parents or a partner, who did a lot of those things for me or reminded me to do them.

So, instead of "high-functioning," maybe "medium-functioning" would have been a more accurate description for me. :)

With the right support, a medium functioning person with autism or adhd can
often make it through college (university). Without that support, not so much.

With the right support, a medium functioning person with autism or adhd can
manage daily life: clean house, pay bills. Without that support. not so much.

Too many mental health professionals and plain old doctors and nurses don't
take that into account. They just go "Hey, you seem pretty smart. What do
you have to complain about?"

All my life I've met the attitude that i'm plenty smart so I should be able to
manage anything. There's more to managing than IQ points though.

daveddd 04-14-18 08:05 PM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lunacie (Post 1991647)
With the right support, a medium functioning person with autism or adhd can
often make it through college (university). Without that support, not so much.

With the right support, a medium functioning person with autism or adhd can
manage daily life: clean house, pay bills. Without that support. not so much.

Too many mental health professionals and plain old doctors and nurses don't
take that into account. They just go "Hey, you seem pretty smart. What do
you have to complain about?"

All my life I've met the attitude that i'm plenty smart so I should be able to
manage anything. There's more to managing than IQ points though.

ive had this issue as well, all though i dont think im smart at all, a little dumb actually. but my high school counselor used to use my IQ to shame my average school performance. I was constantly told i wasnt trying or working to potential

there is still the huge incorrect belief that ADHD is some king of learning disability or problem with intelligence, it isnt, not at all

research has show emotional intelligence is a higher predictor of success then IQ

And ADHD is pretty much a disorder of emotional intelligence

emotional intelligence meaning

ability to identify, symbolize and verbalize emotion

use techniques to regulate your emotions

use emotions as a guide to set goals for the future and reflect on the past and learn from it

Lunacie 04-14-18 08:27 PM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by daveddd (Post 1991686)
ive had this issue as well, all though i dont think im smart at all, a little dumb actually. but my high school counselor used to use my IQ to shame my average school performance. I was constantly told i wasnt trying or working to potential

there is still the huge incorrect belief that ADHD is some king of learning disability or problem with intelligence, it isnt, not at all

research has show emotional intelligence is a higher predictor of success then IQ

And ADHD is pretty much a disorder of emotional intelligence

emotional intelligence meaning

ability to identify, symbolize and verbalize emotion

use techniques to regulate your emotions

use emotions as a guide to set goals for the future and reflect on the past and learn from it

When I can't remember something I knew perfectly well yesterday, I get all
emotional 'cause I'm so frustrated. I know I the thing. The other person is
pretty sure I know the thing. I just can't remember the thing. Doesn't have
anything to do with how hard I'm trying. :umm1:

daveddd 04-14-18 08:58 PM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lunacie (Post 1991694)
When I can't remember something I knew perfectly well yesterday, I get all
emotional 'cause I'm so frustrated. I know I the thing. The other person is
pretty sure I know the thing. I just can't remember the thing. Doesn't have
anything to do with how hard I'm trying. :umm1:

Just gotta apply yourself ;)

psychopathetic 04-14-18 09:05 PM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by daveddd (Post 1991702)
Just gotta apply yourself ;)

Absolutely! You just gotta try a little harder. You'll be fine!


:doh:

Lunacie 04-14-18 09:11 PM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by daveddd (Post 1991702)
Just gotta apply yourself ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by psychopathetic (Post 1991703)
Absolutely! You just gotta try a little harder. You'll be fine!


:doh:

Ugly memories! Makes me want to go on a rampage and pull out my hair.
And pull out their hair. Pull out EVERYONE's hair!!! :p

Why can't they see how hard we ARE trying? :doh:

psychopathetic 04-14-18 11:11 PM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
(((((((Lun Luns)))))))

......

I'm dealing with an overbearing "case manager" (the guy I vented to you about earlier this week) who's putting a lot of pressure on me...and he has this whole attitude that I'm "self victimizing" (his term) and he keeps telling me that he sees that I can do things and that I'm capable...so why do I keep stopping myself.
Like I'm meaning to do it?
He also seems reluctant to give me the full help I could get from him and a program I'm in because I think he thinks I'm pretty much normal.

It is frustrating though and not entirely his fault...
Cause damn it...when I'm out in the public and around him...I am pretty much normal. /facepalm. I'm goofy and intelligent and look fine and act well. I don't have any speech impediments, nothing physically wrong with me (except for being heavy set). And when I'm doing good mentally, and am around people I'm at least half way comfortable with...I can usually do pretty well holding conversations and doing small talk (have always had trouble with small talk).

And...I also have a hard time asking for help too. I just don't like doing it.
But with my parents now gone, I've gotta start asking for more help.

So in his defense, he only sees me when I'm strong. He's never seen me when I'm really struggling.

He is one of the people running a group I'm in though, and I have discussed at length some of the biggest struggles I go through to him and the group...I just don't think it's sunk in on him. He doesn't get it.

...
I did bring this up to him the other day (in group). That I feel like some people don't take me and my disorder serious or realize how much help I could really use, because they don't realize how much I truly struggle everyday. He didn't say anything. Just wrote some notes.
I think he think's it's a bunch of bs. /frustrated

peripatetic 04-14-18 11:24 PM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
this might be a weird thing to say, but i suppose here's where i'm at an "advantage" for having a harsh mental illness in addition to adhd. people don't really question whether i'm unwell when i'm unwell. i do, but others don't. i do feel dismissed sometimes, but not because i seem too normal...

daveddd 04-15-18 12:00 AM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by peripatetic (Post 1991716)
this might be a weird thing to say, but i suppose here's where i'm at an "advantage" for having a harsh mental illness in addition to adhd. people don't really question whether i'm unwell when i'm unwell. i do, but others don't. i do feel dismissed sometimes, but not because i seem too normal...

this is an interesting point

it made me reflect more on my bipolar one

"eople don't really question whether i'm unwell when i'm unwell. i do, but others don't."

oddly its the opposite for me

when I'm manic I'm just a "{spaz" or a goofball and the extreme dramatic rapid movement, speech, work, etc is possibly looked at as goofing around? IDK its hard for me to know what others think of me....even here

the depression , even the deepest is completely contained within and/or covered with beer and drugs

I'm so self conscious and socially anxious i would be devastated for others to see me as "weak" (depressed, even though its a majority of my life)

so i dare not speak of it or let anyone see it on me (so i think )

its almost like i can turn into a robot , just completely dissociate and live on autopilot


PS.. still waiting on that phone call;)

daveddd 04-15-18 12:00 AM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by daveddd (Post 1991719)
this is an interesting point

it made me reflect more on my bipolar one

"eople don't really question whether i'm unwell when i'm unwell. i do, but others don't."

oddly its the opposite for me

when I'm manic I'm just a "{spaz" or a goofball and the extreme dramatic rapid movement, speech, work, etc is possibly looked at as goofing around? IDK its hard for me to know what others think of me....even here

the depression , even the deepest is completely contained within and/or covered with beer and drugs

I'm so self conscious and socially anxious i would be devastated for others to see me as "weak" (depressed, even though its a majority of my life)

so i dare not speak of it or let anyone see it on me (so i think )

its almost like i can turn into a robot , just completely dissociate and live on autopilot


PS.. still waiting on that phone call;)

and you should be my therapist, your one of very few people ever who is able to someone reach my true self

peripatetic 04-15-18 12:12 AM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by daveddd (Post 1991719)
when I'm manic I'm just a "{spaz" or a goofball and the extreme dramatic rapid movement, speech, work, etc is possibly looked at as goofing around? IDK its hard for me to know what others think of me....even here

the depression , even the deepest is completely contained within and/or covered with beer and drugs

I'm so self conscious and socially anxious i would be devastated for others to see me as "weak" (depressed, even though its a majority of my life)

so i dare not speak of it or let anyone see it on me (so i think )

its almost like i can turn into a robot , just completely dissociate and live on autopilot


PS.. still waiting on that phone call;)

hey there!

i can't find it in me to ring tonight, but maybe tomorrow!

i don't feel it's proper for me to tell you what i think of you on here because we have talked and i'm happy to tell you when we next talk, but i will say i have some really solid memories from a time when i have few memories of anything and think only good things and see sincere struggling.

the person whose mania i'm most familiar with was esh's. and he was pretty unhinged when he was manic. but i see how it could also be perceived as cockiness, arrogance, hypersexual, "on drugs", or something. and not seen as bipolar. or bipolar with psychotic features/schizoaffective disorder in his.

as for me, i think the whole hearing voices thing does me in. as does the actions i take. but also just the way i talk and what i talk about... i'm pretty heavily medicated at the moment and thus "lucid" in a certain sense and it's ... i can see that i've really done some ****** up ****. i mean, you would know about at least a couple of things ; )

daveddd 04-15-18 12:15 AM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by peripatetic (Post 1991721)
hey there!

i can't find it in me to ring tonight, but maybe tomorrow!

i don't feel it's proper for me to tell you what i think of you on here because we have talked and i'm happy to tell you when we next talk, but i will say i have some really solid memories from a time when i have few memories of anything and think only good things and see sincere struggling.

the person whose mania i'm most familiar with was esh's. and he was pretty unhinged when he was manic. but i see how it could also be perceived as cockiness, arrogance, hypersexual, "on drugs", or something. and not seen as bipolar. or bipolar with psychotic features/schizoaffective disorder in his.

as for me, i think the whole hearing voices thing does me in. as does the actions i take. but also just the way i talk and what i talk about... i'm pretty heavily medicated at the moment and thus "lucid" in a certain sense and it's ... i can see that i've really done some ****** up ****. i mean, you would know about at least a couple of things ; )

:):)

i remember literally a 4 hour phone conversion with you

made more sense than anything ever (in no way is this invalidating your struggles)we were listening to pearl jam and chain smoking:)

ps, wasnt looking for anyone to describe what they think of me, just mentioning an impairment in the area

psychopathetic 04-15-18 12:22 AM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
(((((((Peri))))))) & (((((((Dave)))))))

You guys are awesome <3

Lunacie 04-15-18 12:22 AM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by psychopathetic (Post 1991712)
(((((((Lun Luns)))))))

......

I'm dealing with an overbearing "case manager" (the guy I vented to you about earlier this week) who's putting a lot of pressure on me...and he has this whole attitude that I'm "self victimizing" (his term) and he keeps telling me that he sees that I can do things and that I'm capable...so why do I keep stopping myself.
Like I'm meaning to do it?
He also seems reluctant to give me the full help I could get from him and a program I'm in because I think he thinks I'm pretty much normal.

It is frustrating though and not entirely his fault...
Cause damn it...when I'm out in the public and around him...I am pretty much normal. /facepalm. I'm goofy and intelligent and look fine and act well. I don't have any speech impediments, nothing physically wrong with me (except for being heavy set). And when I'm doing good mentally, and am around people I'm at least half way comfortable with...I can usually do pretty well holding conversations and doing small talk (have always had trouble with small talk).

And...I also have a hard time asking for help too. I just don't like doing it.
But with my parents now gone, I've gotta start asking for more help.

So in his defense, he only sees me when I'm strong. He's never seen me when I'm really struggling.

He is one of the people running a group I'm in though, and I have discussed at length some of the biggest struggles I go through to him and the group...I just don't think it's sunk in on him. He doesn't get it.

...
I did bring this up to him the other day (in group). That I feel like some people don't take me and my disorder serious or realize how much help I could really use, because they don't realize how much I truly struggle everyday. He didn't say anything. Just wrote some notes.
I think he think's it's a bunch of bs. /frustrated

I am truly thankful that I don't have to deal with people who don't get it . . .
and aren't willing to try to understand. Aren't willing to walk in my shoes.

How can someone who doesn't even try to understand why adhd is considered
a disorder possibly help you? Maybe he doesn't know enough to help anyone
in that group. Wonder how he got the job?

peripatetic 04-15-18 12:25 AM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
i think that might be the last thing i remember before i began those treatments! it's incredible i remember anything, i sometimes think. you know the commands came back this last time anyway. that's what the treatment was intended to disrupt. so i might be ******. i don't really know yet. but i did spend 5+ weeks inpatient and did IOP and so forth. i feel like everything is very tentative in my life right now even though i'm living like it's not this potential monster hiding around the corner if i discontinue again.

daveddd 04-15-18 12:27 AM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by peripatetic (Post 1991726)
i think that might be the last thing i remember before i began those treatments! it's incredible i remember anything, i sometimes think. you know the commands came back this last time anyway. that's what the treatment was intended to disrupt. so i might be ******. i don't really know yet. but i did spend 5+ weeks inpatient and did IOP and so forth. i feel like everything is very tentative in my life right now even though i'm living like it's not this potential monster hiding around the corner if i discontinue again.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

psychopathetic 04-15-18 12:34 AM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lunacie (Post 1991725)
Wonder how he got the job?

ha! me too!! :doh:
I'd switch to a new case manager if we had one.
He's snips at me a lot, I feel a lot of frustration and even anger around him, he acts like I'm a child and just need to pull my breeches up and get moving.
You know?
He reminds me a lot of my dad. :(
lol he keeps getting on my case too cause sometimes I'll make suggestions on things we can do in group, and he gets all huffy and puffy and he's like "I have a degree in this and if you want to run group then you can go get your own degree and run your own group!" ...I'm not joking! haha >.<'

But I have to deal with it for now! I'd be lost without him and the group /sigh. He provides me with rides (not just to group but to the store and such)...and will hopefully some day help me fix my car. He might be able to help me get some new clothes too as I start working towards employment.

I miss my mom man. She was the only "manager" I really needed in my life heh.

peripatetic 04-15-18 12:36 AM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by psychopathetic (Post 1991728)
"I have a degree in this and if you want to run group then you can go get your own degree and run your own group!" ...I'm not joking! haha >.<'

a group facilitator, a mental health professional, actually said this to you straight out in front of the group?

**** that noise. i would totally tell him to **** off. trying to humiliate me in front of the whole group? you deserve better. x

daveddd 04-15-18 12:43 AM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by psychopathetic (Post 1991728)
ha! me too!! :doh:
I'd switch to a new case manager if we had one.
He's snips at me a lot, I feel a lot of frustration and even anger around him, he acts like I'm a child and just need to pull my breeches up and get moving.
You know?
He reminds me a lot of my dad. :(
lol he keeps getting on my case too cause sometimes I'll make suggestions on things we can do in group, and he gets all huffy and puffy and he's like "I have a degree in this and if you want to run group then you can go get your own degree and run your own group!" ...I'm not joking! haha >.<'

But I have to deal with it for now! I'd be lost without him and the group /sigh. He provides me with rides (not just to group but to the store and such)...and will hopefully some day help me fix my car. He might be able to help me get some new clothes too as I start working towards employment.

I miss my mom man. She was the only "manager" I really needed in my life heh.

yikes, coincidentally Im reading a book i just bought on another tab by peter fonagy

treatable and untreatable

it talks about amenability to treatment and the most important factors that contribute to it

one is the patient and doc like each other and get along well:doh:

psychopathetic 04-15-18 12:49 AM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by peripatetic (Post 1991729)
a group facilitator, a mental health professional, actually said this to you straight out in front of the group?

**** that noise. i would totally tell him to **** off. trying to humiliate me in front of the whole group? you deserve better. x

Oh I did. We got into a heated discussion on that.

I brought in a guided meditation the group wanted to try out. He didn't want to do it because he was afraid it'd put everyone to sleep...so he wanted to do it towards the end of the group.
But I suggested we do it at the beginning because if we wait till the end, we'd forget it and wouldn't have enough time to do it.
He didn't like me arguing with him...it's his way or the highway...so he snipped at me about it and threw the degree thing in my face.

There was another time that he threw his degree in my face...it's when he interrupted one of the ladies in group and started to tell her about a way to work on an issue she was talking about (before he interrupted her). I told him I thought it was rude of him that he interrupted like that, and that I thought his suggestions really had very little to do with what she was even talking about and how I didn't think it was very helpful. lol he wasn't happy, I'll tell you that...and yeah, he threw at me that he's got a degree and knows what he's talking about and how I REALLY need to go take some classes of my onw. :doh:

daveddd 04-15-18 01:55 AM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
i have evening appointments so my therapist is usally finishing food when i get in

she then belches often throughout the session

with her mouth closed, but its still kinda disturbing:lol:

Kunga Dorji 04-15-18 02:57 AM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
The unknown unknown in this equation is that often those who can't see your struggles, also can not see their own.

In the end we can't make anyone see anything. All we can do is choose to spend more time with the insightful, and less time with the judgmental.

They have made their choices. Let them go in peace- and offer to pay for an Uber.

Kunga Dorji 04-15-18 03:00 AM

Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by daveddd (Post 1991730)
yikes, coincidentally Im reading a book i just bought on another tab by peter fonagy

treatable and untreatable

it talks about amenability to treatment and the most important factors that contribute to it

one is the patient and doc like each other and get along well:doh:

That is important. I can't imagine spending any time with a doctor who I did not like.


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