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-   -   Extremely Indecisive, Can't Make Decisions - Need to Schedule a Doctor's Appointment (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=196120)

chris87 01-07-21 09:44 AM

Extremely Indecisive, Can't Make Decisions - Need to Schedule a Doctor's Appointment
 
I have extreme difficulty when making decisions. I get so overwhelmed that I become completely paralyzed. This happens with almost anything that is more than a routine decision. I have to schedule an ophthalmologist appointment, and I'm basically at a standstill. As I see it, I have about 3 or 4 options. If I were advising someone else, I would say to just schedule with anyone that can take you relatively quickly. Of course, that advice doesn't seem to work for me. Aside from ADHD issues, I definitely have some general anxiety. This complicates everything. My main concern is that I haven't been to the ophthalmologist since 2017. I'm supposed to go every year to renew my prescription. I ended up just buying additional contact lenses. I've been planning to go for the last 3 years, and now I really need to get there. I wouldn't mind going to the doctor that I previously visited, but I'm afraid that he'll be angry or lecture me. I have the same concern with the other doctors. There are also some other issues as described below.

Option 1 - Large, multi-doctor practice nearby. I went there in 2012, and my family has gone there a few times. I'm not sure about the availability of appointments, but I believe it can be a while. I'm afraid to call and ask, because then I feel like I'll be obligated to schedule an appointment. I don't want to wait for 3 weeks.

Option 2 - Small practice that I went to in 2017. I really liked the doctor, and I wouldn't mind going there again. He has online scheduling with appointments available as early as tomorrow. He was very calming and patient with me. The issue is that when searching for his information, I realized that I have an outstanding balance from 2017 ($150). I guess it's part of the deductible from my insurance. I have no idea why I didn't handle it at that time, and now I'm afraid that I'm blacklisted. I don't know if I could just call them and say I have a balance and would like to get it paid. He helped me with a problem in 2017, which turned out to be that my contact lens prescription was too strong. I never went back like I should have and just ordered replacement contacts online. The other issue is that I would have to take the train into the city, which I hope is safe at this point.

Option 3 - Small, solo practice 2 minutes from my work location. It seems to be very well rated, and the people online speak highly of the doctor and her staff. No experience with them or how long it would be to get an appointment.

If anyone could give me some help/advice, I would really appreciate it. I make myself crazy, and then I can't make a decision.

acdc01 01-08-21 12:37 AM

Re: Extremely Indecisive, Can't Make Decisions - Need to Schedule a Doctor's Appointm
 
Trains aren't safe yet imo with covid worse than ever.

Besides that, I don't think whether you choose option 1 or 3, your life will really be changed all that much. I assume both are competent and will give you decent help.

Would it help you make decisions if you tell yourself right away that even if you don't end up choosing the absolute best option, your life will still overall be pretty much be unaffected?

PoppnNSailinMan 01-11-21 02:50 PM

Re: Extremely Indecisive, Can't Make Decisions - Need to Schedule a Doctor's Appointm
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by chris87 (Post 2027931)
I have extreme difficulty when making decisions.

I often have a difficult time making decisions, too. One of my 6th grade teachers wrote in my report card, "Sometimes he has a hard time making up his mind whether to do a project or which project to do." I can't remember what projects we were doing, but my indecisiveness obviously stood out enough even when I was eleven years old that a teacher had noticed it. I was looking online and found the following question on a website:

Quote:

Q: My son is 9 years old and diagnosed with ADHD. My son has trouble making decisions. This is increasingly impacting daily life. His analysis paralysis seems rooted in anxiety....How is this (or is this not) tied to his ADHD brain?” — Anonymousmom

Hi Anonymousmom:

Short answer? Yes. The inability to make certain decisions is directly related to the ADHD brain.
This "analysis paralysis" is exactly what happens to me. I analyze everything to death and then often don't do anything until it becomes a crisis because I'm afraid of making the wrong decision.

Last year I was in an overwhelming and stressful situation where I was trying to get my elderly parents moved to a new home close to my own so that I can look after them better which involved getting all their stuff packed, their old house fixed up and sold, buying a new house near my own and hiring a moving company to load and transport their stuff from the old house to the new one. All of this, of course, involved making a lot of dicisons about how best to pack all my parents' stuff, which stuff to keep and which stuff to get rid of or take to Goodwill, which realtor to hire to sell their old house and which one to hire to find various new houses we might buy, which of those new house we should make on offer on and try to buy, how much should we offer, which moving company to hire, etc., etc.

I often ended up texting a cousin to get his advice which helped me a lot to make important decisions. I think, however, that there is not always one clear solution. Sometimes you just have to do the best you can and pick one option and see how it goes.

I've also noticed that making dicisions is easier since I've been on a stimulant medication.

Lunacie 01-12-21 09:01 AM

Re: Extremely Indecisive, Can't Make Decisions - Need to Schedule a Doctor's Appointm
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by PoppnNSailinMan (Post 2027986)
I often have a difficult time making decisions, too. One of my 6th grade teachers wrote in my report card, "Sometimes he has a hard time making up his mind whether to do a project or which project to do." I can't remember what projects we were doing, but my indecisiveness obviously stood out enough even when I was eleven years old that a teacher had noticed it. I was looking online and found the following question on a website:



This "analysis paralysis" is exactly what happens to me. I analyze everything to death and then often don't do anything until it becomes a crisis because I'm afraid of making the wrong decision.

Last year I was in an overwhelming and stressful situation where I was trying to get my elderly parents moved to a new home close to my own so that I can look after them better which involved getting all their stuff packed, their old house fixed up and sold, buying a new house near my own and hiring a moving company to load and transport their stuff from the old house to the new one. All of this, of course, involved making a lot of dicisons about how best to pack all my parents' stuff, which stuff to keep and which stuff to get rid of or take to Goodwill, which realtor to hire to sell their old house and which one to hire to find various new houses we might buy, which of those new house we should make on offer on and try to buy, how much should we offer, which moving company to hire, etc., etc.

I often ended up texting a cousin to get his advice which helped me a lot to make important decisions. I think, however, that there is not always one clear solution. Sometimes you just have to do the best you can and pick one option and see how it goes.

I've also noticed that making dicisions is easier since I've been on a stimulant medication.

Bolding added by me: It confuses my daughter that I'm able to step up
and make decisions and do things during a crisis, but hesitate and delay
if no crisis is occurring.

PoppnNSailinMan 01-14-21 03:51 PM

Re: Extremely Indecisive, Can't Make Decisions - Need to Schedule a Doctor's Appointm
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lunacie (Post 2027990)
Bolding added by me: It confuses my daughter that I'm able to step up
and make decisions and do things during a crisis, but hesitate and delay
if no crisis is occurring.

It's characteristic of people with ADHD that they have difficulty starting tasks until they're faced with a final deadline or a crisis. Otherwise, it's easier to procrastinate. When I was in college, I rarely started papers for classes until the night before they were due and usually ended up working on them all night long and then dragging myself into class with no sleep the next day to turn them in.

I recently came across another interesting explanation for why people with ADHD often have difficulty making decisions or choices in Thomas Brown's book, Attention Defict Disorder: The Unfocused Mind in Children and Adults (New Haven: Yale University Press, 2005), p. 144-146. He starts off one of his chapters by quoting a twenty-six year old patient with ADHD who talks about his difficulties in making choices:

Quote:

I’ve always had a hard time making choices. I switched my major five times in the three years I was in college. I keep trying things out and then I get bored and feel like something else would be better, so I switch. Finally I dropped out to try getting a job. Figured I'd go back to school after I knew better what I want. That was four years ago and since then I’ve had seven different jobs…

I do the same thing with everything. When I’m watching TV I have to hold the remote because I always have to keep changing channels to see what else is on. Same with girlfriends. For a while I like this one, then I see someone else who looks better...
Then Brown comments on what his patient said:

Quote:

The young man’s comment “I’ve always had difficulty making choices” reflects a problem with “omnipotentiality” a fantasy-based attitude, common among adolescents, that all things are possible, all choices are open. Usually this attitude is dispelled during mid- to late adolescence as most individuals are forced to confront the reality that some doors are not open to them. They discover that they cannot get into a particular college they want to attend or enroll in a specific course that sounds interesting or be hired for a specific job that they would like to do. Sometimes these impediments to fulfilling a particular aspiration come from lack of ability, sometimes from not having met educational prerequisites, sometimes simply because there are more qualified applicants than there are available openings.

As they experience such disappointments and frustrations, most young people reconcile themselves to the need to make choices and to abandon some interests, “amputating” some possibilities in order to invest themselves in others. Usually they also come to recognize that choosing a career is not simply a matter of making a decision about what one wants, but about trying to make an acceptable fit between what one wants and is able to do with opportunities that are actually available. Many young adults with ADD syndrome take longer to learn this lesson. With a persisting sense of omnipotentiality, they experience themselves as being on a protracted shopping trip for life options – interested in multiple possibilities, but unable to invest in any one choice enough to put up with the inevitable frustrations of getting started and becoming established.
I think that this issue of "omnipotentiality" has been a problem for me, too. One reason I've often had a difficult time in making decisions is that I always want to keep as many options open as long as possible rather than commit to only one of them which might close off other options that could be better.

ljsinclair 01-16-21 09:55 PM

Re: Extremely Indecisive, Can't Make Decisions - Need to Schedule a Doctor's Appointm
 
Hi there,
Not sure if this is helpful but I sometimes need to make decisions like this, and I find I boil all the worries down to three items:


- Financial Cost
- Health/Mental Cost (of procrastination and/or doing/not doing the "thing"

- Time spent to get there and back and doing the "thing".


So to return to your issue, I'd be choosing the service that's 2 minutes from your work and going with that.


It's even easier if they've got a website to make an appointment too :D

PoppnNSailinMan 01-17-21 02:17 PM

Re: Extremely Indecisive, Can't Make Decisions - Need to Schedule a Doctor's Appointm
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ljsinclair (Post 2028067)
Hi there,
So to return to your issue, I'd be choosing the service that's 2 minutes from your work and going with that.

Option #3 is probably the one I'd start with, too, by calling and finding out how long it would take to get in. I'd then probably try Option #1 if the first one didn't work out.


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