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MindBlind 12-03-18 06:10 PM

Adulting and Imposter Syndrome
So Iíve been holding down a job for almost a year, which is the longest I have ever held down a job (and I will be 28 soon). Iím proud that I came this far, considering how the year started for me, but I still feel like Iím a **** up, but itís for mundane reasons. I real like Iím not a real adult because I canít organise or declutter my living space. I feel frustrated because I still have trouble organising myself or managing to get to places on time or just general stuff that adults are just supposed to do. I know what I need to do to remedy it, but the trouble is maintaining those habits every single day. I know thereís no use in comparing myself to others and I should give myself credit for the stuff I am managing, but itís hard not to fall back into that negative self talk that many of us are too familiar with.

Whoís going through something similar right now? Whatís helped you cope with these feelings?

Little Missy 12-03-18 06:22 PM

Re: Adulting and Imposter Syndrome
I never take on more than I can handle.

finallyfound10 12-04-18 01:12 AM

Re: Adulting and Imposter Syndrome
I definitely still don't feel like an adult and I'm 48.

I think part of it is never been married or had kids. I also lived at home until I was in my mid 30's and then moved back in there after about 4 years and lived there for additional 4 years approximately. There are other things as well but those two things, for me, are the biggest.

I can't get organized either. I've inquired about having someone come in to clean so I will be forced to de-clutter and organize as they won't clean around piles of paper and other junk laying around. I spend an unhealthy amount of time thinking, worrying, fretting and feeling bad about the state of my apartment that leads to feeling bad about myself. I don't need anymore of that!

sarahsweets 12-04-18 05:36 AM

Re: Adulting and Imposter Syndrome
I try to do my best as an adult. I am on time to things and I am a good involved mom. But sometimes I feel like I am constantly winging it.

Fuzzy12 12-04-18 08:02 AM

Re: Adulting and Imposter Syndrome
Yes a million times. I turned 40 recentlY. Though I'm not sure anyone is buying my act. Many people I work with are nearly half my age but have double the amount of knowledge and skill. Including soft skills. I feel guilty every minute at work for taking up space.

I can't get organised either. But you know what? I managed to parallel park today. On only the second attempt. Surely that means I'm growing up slowly??

Funky1 12-04-18 01:51 PM

Re: Adulting and Imposter Syndrome
I'm 40 years old and have a son who will be 18 next month and is graduating high school in May. I still don't feel like an adult. I own a house, and a car, and I have a full-time job and a part-time job, but I can still go out and tear up a dance floor and stay up part of the night... Can't do the all night thing is easily anymore...

I've always felt a little different, left-of-center I suppose. Now that I'm trudging through the second half of my life though, I still don't feel anything like the adult I thought I would be when I was growing up. I don't mind though, I'm happy, I have a good job and great friends, and really don't care how people view me because I know that I can get by just fine no matter what.

Drogheda98 12-11-18 06:38 PM

Re: Adulting and Imposter Syndrome
well, imposter syndrome is, I think, one part wearing too many masks (I'm a fill in the blank instead of I'm a person that can do this stuff).

another part not being aware of our own ego state. too much ego can be like dawning Armor, however being aware that our ego state is negative, positive, flowing, feeling etc... and why is important to know.

and another part, I think, like you said comparing ourselfs to too many people. instead of recognizing aspects of self in others, I think it's important to notice to reorginize the idea of " that guy's like me" to " me and that guy both share this same quality about ourselfs". that way, instead of comparing, well I'm more likey to say something like "ahh, I share this quality with other people because I too am a human"

ya, another part stigma, stigma for having adhd can make us feel like aliens in our own skin sometime. so, I think it's important to know your (and my) own strengths and be confident about the things we can do.

tudorose 12-12-18 08:48 AM

Re: Adulting and Imposter Syndrome
Who's expectations are you trying to meet regarding clutter?

I've been trying to sell a house since May and all I've done all year is clean and tidy up. That's a year of my life I'm not gonna get back. Decluttering is not adulting it's busymaking for thosw who can't find something better to do.

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