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-   -   I hate you people who say ADD is our greatest strength (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=185652)

Lloyd_ 05-16-17 06:15 PM

I hate you people who say ADD is our greatest strength
 
I hate you people who say ADD is some personality 'quirk' that really makes us unique blah blah blah. I have more respect for those that have beaten me down for being a dunce more than I do for the people who are self delusional about being learning disabled. The way I see myself is being brain damaged and that's exactly what I am, having to work 2x as hard as the average person to just barely keep up? That's not some super cool attribute, that's being handicapped to one degree mentally.

Most the time and it's been this way for almost as long as I can remember even as a kid not wanting to be this way and really look forward to the day I finally leave this mortal coil. Maybe one day thanks to modern science my brain can become fully functional as an average person and at least get to enjoy what's left of my life.

Fuzzy12 05-16-17 07:19 PM

Re: I hate you people who say ADD is our greatest strength
 
No, it's not super cool. It sucks.:(

Greyhound1 05-16-17 07:26 PM

Re: I hate you people who say ADD is our greatest strength
 
Don't hate people because they say that. Feel sorry for them and their lack of knowledge or experience instead. :)

ginniebean 05-16-17 09:43 PM

Re: I hate you people who say ADD is our greatest strength
 
Everyone is impaired differently and for some of us the consequences are debilitating. There are a lot of people on this forum who are doing very well and often it xan seem they speak for adhd when they are the minority.

Adhd is a disability, some more, some less. instead of having such animus towards others maybe consider that your voice with your experience is vital. Because so much of our disorder is labeled as moral failing that can get bought into and internalized.

Due to this internalization there is a lot of shame involved with being symptomatic and how that plays out in real time. Being willing to be vulnerable to give voice to these struggles, to have the courage it takes to stare down the moral attribution and to stand up for accomadation in our personal lives. (because that is where it needs to start.) is a healthy act of self growth. Self discovery of a self with adhd takes a very long time. Make the journey.

Speak out for yourself and others.

Traveler5 05-16-17 09:52 PM

Re: I hate you people who say ADD is our greatest strength
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lloyd_ (Post 1947796)
I hate you people who say ADD is some personality 'quirk' that really makes us unique blah blah blah.

I agree. I hate statements like that too. I certainly don't believe ADHD is our greatest strength. That's bull pucky.

ADHD does suck and makes life hard for us. Fortunately, it can be treated with the right kind of medication and mindfulness.

Lloyd_ 05-16-17 10:03 PM

Re: I hate you people who say ADD is our greatest strength
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ginniebean (Post 1947829)
Due to this internalization there is a lot of shame involved with being symptomatic and how that plays out in real time. Being willing to be vulnerable to give voice to these struggles, to have the courage it takes to stare down the moral attribution and to stand up for accomadation in our personal lives. (because that is where it needs to start.)


I am vocal at work and will state that I learn and process differently than others which only results in more resentment but out of spite I stick around, the anger keeps me going.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ginniebean (Post 1947829)
Speak out for yourself and others.

I speak out for others more than I do myself and in this point in my life it is unlikely I'll ever accept a compliment of any sorts or learn to truly live with myself, thought earlier in life that I'd get to that point but I haven't yet and don't believe at this point I ever will.

dvdnvwls 05-16-17 10:38 PM

Re: I hate you people who say ADD is our greatest strength
 
You already are living with yourself. That doesn't mean it always has to be the ideal perfect relationship, but being unkind to yourself is a pretty poor strategy.

Anger is like a grenade. A defective grenade, that explodes while you're still pulling out the pin. It may get them, but it gets you more.

Black_Rose1809 05-17-17 02:55 PM

Re: I hate you people who say ADD is our greatest strength
 
I know it's hard. I'm ADHD-I and it's hard. I had to work hard to get where I am, and for the longest time I thought my disability was who I was 100% of the time, but now I don't let it define me. Yes I have issues with this, but I have to do what I can with it. I learned to be like water and adjust myself to what I have and stop fighting it.

mildadhd 05-17-17 09:15 PM

Re: I hate you people who say ADD is our greatest strength
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lloyd_ (Post 1947796)
I hate you people who say ADD is some personality 'quirk' that really makes us unique blah blah blah. I have more respect for those that have beaten me down for being a dunce more than I do for the people who are self delusional about being learning disabled. The way I see myself is being brain damaged and that's exactly what I am, having to work 2x as hard as the average person to just barely keep up? That's not some super cool attribute, that's being handicapped to one degree mentally.

Most the time and it's been this way for almost as long as I can remember even as a kid not wanting to be this way and really look forward to the day I finally leave this mortal coil. Maybe one day thanks to modern science my brain can become fully functional as an average person and at least get to enjoy what's left of my life.

I understand your frustration, ADHD is no gift.

If I could regift my deficits of self regulation, I certainly would.

That being said, I think there are benefits to humans being born with more sensitive temperaments.

But not many people are interested in discussing and learning about our inherited hypersensitive temperaments and how self regulation develops in early life.

Many people prefer to think we are born with AD(H)D, but nobody is born with self-regulation.

Self regulation develops after birth.

What we are born with are more sensitive temperaments.


m

psychopathetic 05-17-17 09:38 PM

Re: I hate you people who say ADD is our greatest strength
 
Is it possible at all that for them...their own add truly is a gift or gives them great strength or whatever?

I view ADHD like I view most mental health disorders...it's on a spectrum. On the far left of the spectrum is total disability...where it interferes in many aspects of your life in ways that make it nearly impossible to live a 'normal' or productive life.
On the far right side of spectrum...is just the opposite.
There's MANY shades of gray in between the 2 extremes, and we can shift around along the spectrum from moment to moment.

So while someone with ADHD is having a real rough go of things and is pretty far into the left side of the disorder...it's possible another person who's found an amazing career that flips all the right switches in his brain and gets his inner fire going and really loves his life...
While both have ADHD.

I view MY ADD as an absolute disability in my life.
But I'm open to the idea that not everyone has had the same experiences as I've had. Been down the same paths.

I don't hate people that 'love' their ADHD or whatever. I envy them.

As long as they're not preaching about EVERYONE with ADHD should love it and think of it as a gift...I see no reason to hate them.
But maybe you're talking about those that do think that ADHD is an amazing thing for EVERYONE to have...that those of us who don't see the brighter things of it just need to get over ourselves...
Well yeah...then those people can go shove it! lol >.<'

sarahsweets 05-18-17 01:19 AM

Re: I hate you people who say ADD is our greatest strength
 
I dont hate-but I am capable of disliking strongly.

DJ Bill 05-18-17 10:36 AM

Re: I hate you people who say ADD is our greatest strength
 
I know the feeling Lloyd. If I see another article about the of extremely successful ADD-ers, I may have to say a few words about their semblance to a posterior part. The percentage of ADDers like Richard Branson of Virgin Air is pretty dang small. It's sorta like telling a kid who's learning how to play basketball that he should be like magic johnson.

Johnny Slick 05-18-17 12:21 PM

Re: I hate you people who say ADD is our greatest strength
 
Yeah, the real danger in this is the people who take the "hey, here are successful people with ADHD" or "hey, ADHD can help you to do X" to mean "it's not really that bad". It can be crippling to some and devastating to others. And sure, adversity makes us stronger, but do you know what else makes us stronger? Not having adversity. I mean, there are all kinds of places you can derive adversity from that have zip to do with ADHD: you have to fight some battles others don't have to fight if you're a woman, or not a cis white male, or even if you are the latter perhaps you grew up poor or have dyslexia or were in an emotionally abusive household, for example. The possibilities for adversity are, shall we say, endless, and we don't *need* additional bits and pieces thrown on top of us.

It's not even like telling a kid to play basketball like Magic Johnson. It's like telling a kid who is 5'3" that Muggsy Bogues played in the NBA at his height so he's got nothing to complain about. Muggsy Bogues also put in an *insane* amount of work learning ball-handling and court awareness in order to play professional basketball *in spite* of his stature, not because his stature gave him extra added abilities or something.

Cyllya 05-20-17 08:12 PM

Re: I hate you people who say ADD is our greatest strength
 
I feel ya.

Quote:

Originally Posted by psychopathetic (Post 1947993)
Is it possible at all that for them...their own add truly is a gift or gives them great strength or whatever?

I think those people are often talking about legitimate gifts... but they're not talking about ADHD.

There's some people who talk about ADHD being a non-disorder that actually makes us better at focusing than normal people.

Besides those guys, there's people who associate ADHD with the entirety of a person's personality and identity, so any positive traits they have are considered to be a benefit of ADHD.

In some cases, subclinical ADHD-like traits are good, and some other traits that are stereotypical associated with ADHD can be good.

anonymouslyadd 05-20-17 09:47 PM

Re: I hate you people who say ADD is our greatest strength
 
Like sarah said, I don't hate, but I find it impossible to believe something with "disorder" in its name can ever be seen as a strength.


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