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-   -   give me my life back (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=191246)

Charmcityguy22 04-16-18 09:08 AM

give me my life back
 
is this how we are supposed to live

is life always a mystery

do we always worry about whats going to happen every waking moment

why does life always seem like it's a jumbled mess

are the chemicals in our brain wired differently than others

we feel as if the chemicals in our brain are out of line

when we work hard does it pay off?

we dont view the world like others do

our eyes are half shut

the future is uncertain and bleak

when its sunny out its always raining on us.

we just want to find our normal

when there are two roads we dont take the road less traveled we dont know which road to take

everything in life seems fake

when we read we dont understand

a day to us seems like an eternity

we are pushed in the corner of the room and left alone

goals are not in our vocabulary

we have ADHD/ADD and want our lives back

weather you need medication to help you function or you do it naturally you want your life back


My story becomes our story

I was at work the other day during my lunch break,I work in a parking garage,i usually go up on the 10th level to enjoy my lunch and take in the views of the city where I live.

it was a Wednesday and there wasn't a cloud in the sky,the air was warm and inviting,as I sat there enjoying my lunch there was something off that day like every day.my head felt like it was in the clouds,I felt like I was in a dream like the days and weeks that had past.i was lost and all I wanted was my normal back.i did not want to be normal like everyone else I wanted to be myself.

I've used medication for years some have worked some haven't but when they do work it's like an angel came down from heaven and touched my shoulder and granted me life once again.people like myself with ADHD/ADD are always searching for that angel to grant us life.

I went to see a new psychiatrist the next day and we talked for a god hour and a half and he gifted me with a script of 10mg focalin.i went home that day and went about the rest of my day per usual.

when I woke the next day I took my first dose of the medication after going to the pharmacy getting the script filled.

went home and it ready for work,went to the garage and went up to my favorite lunch spot and felt a tap on my shoulder and locked over and there was the angel once again gifting me that normal I sort for months,the fog that loomed over me for mouths was finally lifted,that normal I was looking for was finally there,my head was clear
the chemicals in my brain finely felt like they where in line.on that day I was alive once again.not longer did I feel there where road blocks in my life and if there would be any I'd know how to get around them.

I know this feeling will go away with time and I'll be searching for that angel once again but for now live has meaning. I did not worry about the future I was so hyper focused that I was always in the moment.

for me I'll always be on medication and am fine with that as long as I walk down the right road. dont judge me who I'm not but love me for who I am and will become.

Charmcityguy22 04-16-18 09:19 AM

Re: give me my life back
 
sorry for the spelling errors.

alphalpha 04-17-18 01:34 PM

Re: give me my life back
 
Whats focalin for? Is it a replacement for Adderall?

peripatetic 04-17-18 01:47 PM

Re: give me my life back
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by alphalpha (Post 1991998)
Whats focalin for? Is it a replacement for Adderall?

focalin is a methylphenidate based medication used for ADHD, narcolepsy, etc.
adderall is an amphetamine based medication used for ADHD, narcolepsy, etc.

some psychiatrists start people on methylphenidate based meds first, others start on amphetamine based ones... both focalin and adderall are stimulants.

finallyfound10 04-19-18 09:28 PM

Re: give me my life back
 
This is good!! You've captured a lot of what I (and many others, I'm sure) feel. Thanks!!

PoppnNSailinMan 04-20-18 06:39 PM

Re: give me my life back
 
A good post. I identity with a lot of what you wrote, although for me, this part kind of depends on the circumstances:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charmcityguy22 (Post 1991856)
a day to us seems like an eternity

If I'm doing something boring, a day can seem like an eternity. That's what it felt like when I had a job at an insurance company that involved sitting at a desk in a cubicle doing boring paperwork all day. By early afternoon every workday, I could hardly keep my eyes open.

But if I'm hyperfocused on something that fascinates me, three or four hours can seem like 15 minutes.


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