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-   -   A ramble for tonight (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=191964)

Rimalucy 06-07-18 11:45 PM

A ramble for tonight
 
Hi - joined last year, did one post and left... not my smartest move, but... it's pretty late where I live (with cat :) and I'm sick of being in my own head, so thought I'd at least put some blather here. I'm 74, and the older I get the more pronounced my HD (no ADD) seems to get, or maybe just my awareness of it (something foreign of course til I'd even heard of it ? 30 yrs ago) along with common co-morbids (apnea + 1-2 others).

Was initially given Ritalin but quit almost right away tho' can't remember why. Now have a script for dex but only take little bits when I have to relax... and it really works well, but also makes my hair fall out - as does any of the other usual meds). I only take it rarely (1 cap or half cap weeks or even months apart). If anyone has a fix for the hair thing, please let me know.:o. Don't drink to speak of, only smoke a few cigs so full of (deliberate) pinholes they might as well be air :umm1:) and graze all day (wt. ok) on quite nutritious stuff - pretty knowledgable re food and luckily like good stuff, tho' a chocaholic.

I realize now my life has always been affected by HD (+ possibly maybe a very little overlap on the spectrum), which is how I ended up where I am... and it sounds pathetic (dumb, etc) to me, except I'm so alone now that I (hugely independent always) think I should make at least a little connection here for now. By 'alone' I mean that I kicked out my ex of 34 yrs just prior to getting old age pension at 65 (again, stupid timing, but I'm only sorry I didn't do it earlier). No children, fair no. of animals, lots of plants, plus only relative (terrific bro.) lives far away and having only been 'here' a few yrs (didn't want to stay 'there') I'm a newbie, never a social bug anyway,1-2 issues keep me from joining (by choice) local 'ladies' groups - never my thing anyhow - and have pretty much given up finding work - small city, v. diff. from metropolises I grew up and worked in til age 50, so only so much happening, but a compromise between recent more rural life of 20 yrs (unsuitable for oldies on their own) and way too expensive return to big cities.

Made incredibly stupid goofs - basically signing off on spousal support - didn't realize I was doing it at the time and now too late to legally change, plus didn't get legal or personal advice - so now stuck on truly inadequate gov't pension, resulting in no life at all, just my Mac, TV, cat + little Honda Fit. And I'm trying hard to figure out what the point is aside from the cat (he's 11 and splendiferous).

Well, this is way too long... hope you're not crosseyed if you did plow through, but wanted to cover basics. Sort of dumping I suppose, not something I normally do, but as I said, I'm so tired of my own 'voice' even with self help CBT. Thanks for the 'forum' to put it in!

Lunacie 06-08-18 01:12 PM

Re: A ramble for tonight
 
Hello, nice to meet someone else in my age group.

Sorry you've got things so tough.

My ex didn't give me any spousal support, but he died just one year after

the divorce was final and his life insurance and social security both came to me

instead of going to his mistress. Oh yeah, she tried to claim them. :umm1:

I learned I have adhd after getting my grandkids diagnosed.

No diagnosis for ASD but I'm sure I'm on the spectrum like my youngest grand.

Rimalucy 06-08-18 01:45 PM

Re: A ramble for tonight
 
Glad I'm not alone :), but can't imagine the shambles my life would be if I did have ADD on top of the other... I think you're all amazing to have managed with it!

Lunacie 06-08-18 01:58 PM

Re: A ramble for tonight
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Rimalucy (Post 1997231)
Glad I'm not alone :), but can't imagine the shambles my life would be if I did have ADD on top of the other... I think you're all amazing to have managed with it!

Managed isn't the word I'd use. Survived is what I did.

There was no diagnosis, therefore no understanding or support for years.

It wasn't until after the divorce when my also-divorced daughter and I were

living together and co-parenting her kids, and she's been very supportive.

I can't imagine how lonely I'd be without her and the kids.

I'm so grateful for the support and friendship I've found on this forum. :grouphug:


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