ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community

ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community (http://www.addforums.com/forums/index.php)
-   Relationships & Social Issues (http://www.addforums.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=61)
-   -   Issues with socializing (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=193274)

apertxre 09-17-18 02:04 AM

Issues with socializing
 
Quick note: I am not officially diagnosed with anything. I canít tell if my social struggles are caused by possible adhd, anxiety, or something else.

I feel that people tend to see me as inconsiderate or rude. I do tend to talk over people without noticing or forget to consider others feelings when responding. I also tend to take things too far whether that be joking or talking excessively or randomly. I also have problems with speech in general, especially grammar. In fact, I sort of talk like a kid and stutter or slur words sometimes. I used to have issues with speaking either too loudly or quietly, and also over sharing, but itís gotten a lil better.

Iím starting to avoid socializing because my embarrassment tolerance is so low. I ruminate about every single conversation I have and itís extremely overwhelming and uncomfortable. It makes me freak out a bit for a minute, as in I start repeating phrases or words to myself, tense my face or body, hit something (not hard or anything) or make sounds. Idk just random soothing stuff for me.

benito 09-17-18 02:28 AM

Re: Issues with socializing
 
Does this problem create anxiety? How is this problem affecting your life (0-10)?

apertxre 09-17-18 03:27 AM

Re: Issues with socializing
 
I’d say an 8 now. After going through so much social rejection, I think it’s caused a lot of depression and chronic loneliness. I’m not the type of person who can be happy without others I guess. Otherwise i’m stuck in my own head. As said (i think) it does cause anxiousness.

benito 09-17-18 03:40 AM

Re: Issues with socializing
 
You need to be evaluated by a professional for a diagnosis, since it is affecting you a lot. At first, I would look for a psychologist. I hope you get better. Keep us informed. Greetings.

acdc01 09-18-18 06:21 AM

Re: Issues with socializing
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by benito (Post 2005987)
You need to be evaluated by a professional for a diagnosis, since it is affecting you a lot. At first, I would look for a psychologist. I hope you get better. Keep us informed. Greetings.

I'd go to a psychiatrist first as psychologists can't diagnose in the United States.

I think you should go to someone else after diagnosis. The psychiatrist might be able to help you find the specialist.


And yeah, go soon since it's really affecting your life. Best wishes.

benito 09-18-18 06:52 AM

Re: Issues with socializing
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by acdc01 (Post 2006103)
...psychologists can't diagnose in the United States.

Thank you :)

Daniel1970 09-18-18 08:16 AM

Re: Issues with socializing
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by apertxre (Post 2005979)
Quick note: I am not officially diagnosed with anything. I canít tell if my social struggles are caused by possible adhd, anxiety, or something else.

I feel that people tend to see me as inconsiderate or rude. I do tend to talk over people without noticing or forget to consider others feelings when responding. I also tend to take things too far whether that be joking or talking excessively or randomly. I also have problems with speech in general, especially grammar. In fact, I sort of talk like a kid and stutter or slur words sometimes. I used to have issues with speaking either too loudly or quietly, and also over sharing, but itís gotten a lil better.

Iím starting to avoid socializing because my embarrassment tolerance is so low. I ruminate about every single conversation I have and itís extremely overwhelming and uncomfortable. It makes me freak out a bit for a minute, as in I start repeating phrases or words to myself, tense my face or body, hit something (not hard or anything) or make sounds. Idk just random soothing stuff for me.

The ruminating and repeating phrases sounds like OCD, but I can't be sure since I'm not a doctor. I'd go see a psychiatrist right away. Some medication will definitely give you relief, and then additional techniques will help you get more control over yourself, your thoughts, and your life.

Remember, it's not you, it's an illness, and you shouldn't have to suffer. What I tell everyone, the brain is a part of your body just like every other part. There's not shame in seeing a doctor who specializes in that part of your body. In your case, it sounds like a psychiatrist.

sarahsweets 09-18-18 09:52 AM

Re: Issues with socializing
 
All the mental health stuff aside...when I notice things about myself that I think or off putting I try and act towards others the way I think they should act towards me. It helps me keep my ego in check.

foreverbeach11 09-18-18 11:31 PM

Re: Issues with socializing
 
Hi there.You are making a good step because you seem to know what is going on when you are in a social environment. You said you haven't been diagnosed with anything yet. Have you considered seeing a professional therapist? They would be able to do a complete assessment to if something has not been diagnosed. When you find yourself doing things that are inappropriate, are you able to stop them? I know it can be difficult and I'm sorry you are going through this. Have you considered saying a simple " I'm sorry" if you find yourself speaking out of turn. Sometimes an apology can ease the tension in those situations. A therapist may be able to help you with strategies to use when being in social situations. Wishing you the best.

apertxre 09-20-18 07:27 PM

Re: Issues with socializing
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by foreverbeach11 (Post 2006166)
Hi there.You are making a good step because you seem to know what is going on when you are in a social environment. You said you haven't been diagnosed with anything yet. Have you considered seeing a professional therapist? They would be able to do a complete assessment to if something has not been diagnosed. When you find yourself doing things that are inappropriate, are you able to stop them? I know it can be difficult and I'm sorry you are going through this. Have you considered saying a simple " I'm sorry" if you find yourself speaking out of turn. Sometimes an apology can ease the tension in those situations. A therapist may be able to help you with strategies to use when being in social situations. Wishing you the best.

Thank you. Iíve been aware of my issues since high school, but since Iím pretty reserved and hate talking, I was scare to see anyone about it. I still kind of am, but I finally have my first appointment with a therapist.

When it comes to conversation, I donít really realize Iím interrupting or being inappropriate until itís too late. I do say sorry if I realize its inappropriate but a lot of the time, Iím unaware and not paying attention enough to the others reaction to notice. I seemingly only notice after when ruminating.


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:55 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) 2003 - 2015 ADD Forums