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-   -   Have you ever related to young children before they mature? (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=195762)

mildadhd 05-13-20 04:40 AM

Have you ever related to young children before they mature?
 
(Questions for adults who have AD(H)D)

Have you ever observed AD(H)D symptoms in young children in general, before they mature?

Sometimes either in person or on television, etc, when observing young children’s’ behaviour, I can relate to their lack of control of attention, impulses and hyperactivity.

What we call “AD(H)D Symptoms” are normal behaviors in young children, before they develop better self control.

So the question is not why where we born with these behaviors, (because lack of control of attention, impulsiveness and hyperactivity are considered normal in all people when they are young), but why did we not develop better self control of attention, impulses and hyperactivity?

(I was first introduced to this kind of thinking by Dr.Mate, but today I was observing and relating to a young child’s behaviors and understood the importance of understanding these normal timelines in development and for my own learning purposes want to try and express in my own words, my own observations, in this thread.)

Why did we not develop better self control of our attention, impulses and hyperactivity?



M

acdc01 05-13-20 03:29 PM

Re: Have you ever related to young children before they mature?
 
yes absolutely.

when my niece and nephew don't want to do something their mom wants them to cause they are preoccupied with something more fun, they start to cry.

I imagine they are feeling the same anxiety we do as adhders when we need to force ourselves to do something else we aren't that interested in. I think we don't cry cause we were trained to internalize the anxiety instead.

some studies suggest that we adhd have some brainareas that are smaller than nts. I wonder if those brain sections just never developed to be more similar to regular adults leaving us more like kids. this is just an idea though. I haven't read anything suggesting that.

Greyhound1 05-13-20 06:49 PM

Re: Have you ever related to young children before they mature?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by mildadhd (Post 2025417)
(Questions for adults who have AD(H)D)

Why did we not develop better self control of our attention, impulses and hyperactivity?



M

I may not be interpreting your question wrong or I’m confused.:scratch:

Wouldn’t having ADHD be the answer to your question??

Lunacie 05-13-20 07:43 PM

Re: Have you ever related to young children before they mature?
 
I could be wrong but my understanding is that ADHD and ASD are both

neuro-developmental disorders, meaning a condition that is due to

differences in in the development and function of the nervous system.

The reason for this seems to be low levels of a neurotransmitter called

norepinephrine compared to "normal" neuro-development.

Dr. Mate probably does not agree with this scientific explanation.

mildadhd 05-14-20 02:19 PM

Re: Have you ever related to young children before they mature?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by acdc01 (Post 2025421)
yes absolutely.

when my niece and nephew don't want to do something their mom wants them to cause they are preoccupied with something more fun, they start to cry.

I imagine they are feeling the same anxiety we do as adhders when we need to force ourselves to do something else we aren't that interested in. I think we don't cry cause we were trained to internalize the anxiety instead.

some studies suggest that we adhd have some brainareas that are smaller than nts. I wonder if those brain sections just never developed to be more similar to regular adults leaving us more like kids. this is just an idea though. I haven't read anything suggesting that.

Absolutely interesting.

Young children also experience different types of anxiety. (Fearful anxiety, separation anxiety..)

Example, I was adopted, and when I observe the face of a young child after being separated from their primary caregivers, upsets me.

To my surprise and relief some young children handle separation anxiety better than some others.






M

mildadhd 05-14-20 03:11 PM

Re: Have you ever related to young children before they mature?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Greyhound1 (Post 2025425)
I may not be interpreting your question wrong or I’m confused.:scratch:

Wouldn’t having ADHD be the answer to your question??

(There is a couple questions for adults who have ADHD in the opening post)

Nobody is born with self control of attention, impulses or hyperactivity.

Inattention, lack of impulse control and hyperactivity are normal behaviors in early childhood.

When do people normally develop age appropriate self control of attention, impulses and hyperactivity?

When does development of self control become delayed?










M

Greyhound1 05-14-20 03:32 PM

Re: Have you ever related to young children before they mature?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by mildadhd (Post 2025439)
(There is a couple questions for adults who have ADHD in the opening post)

Nobody is born with self control of attention, impulses or hyperactivity.

Inattention, lack of impulse control and hyperactivity are normal behaviors in early childhood.

When do people normally develop age appropriate self control of attention, impulses and hyperactivity?

When does development of self control become delayed?










M

Normal children start developing impulse and self control around 3.5-4 years old. Developmental delays can be caused by developmental disorders, birth defects, environmental factors and brain trauma.

namazu 05-14-20 04:07 PM

Re: Have you ever related to young children before they mature?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by mildadhd (Post 2025439)
Nobody is born with self control of attention, impulses or hyperactivity.

Inattention, lack of impulse control and hyperactivity are normal behaviors in early childhood.

Yep.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mildadhd
When do people normally develop age appropriate self control of attention, impulses and hyperactivity?

By definition, people without problems in this area have "age-appropriate" self-control from birth, because their level of self-control increases as appropriately as they age. (At birth, it's "age-appropriate" for a neonate to lack self-control and the ability to self-regulate, as you correctly noted.)

If you mean self-control in an absolute sense, it develops a lot in early childhood, but continuing at least into early adulthood (and to a lesser extent, probably throughout life).

Quote:

Originally Posted by mildadhd
When does development of self comtrol become delayed?

In my opinion, the basis for the problem is usually (but not always) there from the very beginning, even if the delays don't become obvious until later.

Imagine you and a friend are running a race, and you're just a little bit slower than your friend. You start out in the same place, and at first you're not too far away from each other, but over longer and longer distances the gap between you becomes wider and wider. Even though you've been going at a slower pace the whole time, the delay is more noticeable as you fall further behind and your friend gets further ahead.


To answer the question in your OP...
Quote:

Originally Posted by mildadhd
Why did we not develop better self control of our attention, impulses and hyperactivity?

...It's usually probably because a combination of genetics and environment led to a disruption in the normal development of self-regulatory processes. For some of us, it's mostly genetic, and that disruption may have been set in motion well before we were born; for others, the environmental factors may have played more of a role.



What are your new thoughts on these familiar questions?

daveddd 05-14-20 04:25 PM

Re: Have you ever related to young children before they mature?
 
Have you read about the “strange situation” studies?

mildadhd 05-14-20 05:45 PM

Re: Have you ever related to young children before they mature?
 
When my step son was really young, we used to go to the playground at school.

We would make up our own games.

Sometimes other kids would come along and I would take a break, go sit by myself or talk with other adults on a bench and watch him play with the other kids.

I would always try to stay and let him play for a fairly long time, because I would love to play all day when I was young.

And so when I wanted to leave he would have little excuse to stay and play longer.

I would loudly say across the playground “it’s time to go Johnboy”

No matter we were there for a long time, he would always quickly say “awe”, in a lightly disappointed way, as he turned and energetically ran across the playground toward me.

I could relate to how he would always say “awe”, like he never wanted to stop, and had no concept of time.








M

mildadhd 05-14-20 06:00 PM

Re: Have you ever related to young children before they mature?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by daveddd (Post 2025442)
Have you read about the “strange situation” studies?

No, i haven’t

I just looked it up quickly on wiki, and feel like you bought me a winning lottery ticket!!





M

mildadhd 05-14-20 08:21 PM

Re: Have you ever related to young children before they mature?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by daveddd (Post 2025442)
Have you read about the “strange situation” studies?


Fascinating stuff.

Will definitely look into more aboit the strange situation studied.

Watched a frw short videos so far.

Am wondering. how the childs individual temperament , aswell as the childs individusl counterwill , are also involved?

Example in the 4th type, i wonder if "diffusing the childs counterwill" (see Gordon Neufeld) could change the childs response and outcome of thr study?

Very important stuff to learn more about.

Much appreciated.

4 different outcomes (relates) reminds me of different people/situations i have observed.


M


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