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-   -   Intrusive thoughts, feelings (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=191960)

Fuzzy12 06-07-18 04:25 PM

Intrusive thoughts, feelings
 
I don't even want to write too much about it in case that makes them more real but does anyone struggle with this? How.do you deal with it?

peripatetic 06-07-18 04:28 PM

Re: Intrusive thoughts, feelings
 
yes, i absolutely have intrusive thoughts.

it depends on what the nature of the thoughts are how i deal with it.

i've gotten better at letting some of them go, but ones that feature the small girl i have more difficulty with.

mine are typically very violent. so they're disturbing to me. i take low-dose zoloft as well as 10mg per day abilify for OCD and that does help.

what doesn't help is the voices and the feeling that i'm having thoughts inserted into my head just makes it worse.

therapy, though. therapy, therapy, therapy. try to ground yourself when it's happening. try to remember that the thoughts aren't you and that just because you're having them doesn't mean they will come to pass or that you want to have them.

hope that helps. xx

Fuzzy12 06-07-18 04:45 PM

Re: Intrusive thoughts, feelings
 
Thanks peri. I try to tell myself that they are just random thoughts and that the only reason why they seem so prominent is because they are so disturbing to me that when they occur they first stick out and then they just stick because I keep analysing them.

Somehow that doesn't make them any less unpleasant though, or any less disturbing or any less likely to.occur.

Sometimes I try to distract myself but once a thought has got hold of me distraction only works for a while before it returns.

I've always struggled with intrusive thoughts but at the moment it's that stupid movie. It's colouring everything I do and say. I keep comparing myself with the people in the movie and I keep wondering how similar to them I am.

It's not just thoughts. It's this feeling that just seems to have overcome me. I can't explain it but ..no I just can't explain it. It's just tainting everything. I feel.as if I'm.like the people in this movie.

Fuzzy12 06-07-18 04:48 PM

Re: Intrusive thoughts, feelings
 
Somehow this is different to my usual intrusive thoughts. I don't even know how and I couldn't even say if it's better or worse except that it's more pervasive and it's depressing the hell out of me.

Drogheda 06-07-18 04:50 PM

Re: Intrusive thoughts, feelings
 
do you mean rumination, or the the joyride our brain takes every-once and a while.

a couple of weeks ago I started ruminating again, not a lot. this was new, ever sense about 2 years ago I haven't ruminated at all.

what my therapist said was (and different people are different, I don't know if this is general or specific) "talk to the universe (myself), right down your thoughts and feelings and why you think the thought is intrusive."

way back when we talked about linear phase memory. what I got out of that is when we talk or right our brain grabs all the memories and feelings that are kind of scattered. being scattered and having emotions scattered as well (held hostage by our fear cortex) . when we talk and wright, we linear phase it, encapsulate it, learn from it and after a while (well, depending) they fly away. he said encapsulate, so one big thing becomes "*this* incident"

atleast for me. give it a shot, wrighting down your thoughts and feelings is good (woops) anyway

Fraser_0762 06-07-18 04:52 PM

Re: Intrusive thoughts, feelings
 
For me the worst thing about it is the feeling that other people can read my thoughts. I get thoughts in my head I don't want there and then have the added worry that everybody else knows what i'm thinking and will judge me as a terrible person because of it.

Fuzzy12 06-07-18 05:00 PM

Re: Intrusive thoughts, feelings
 
Ok, I'll give it a shot.

I'm going to talk about the movie. I found it triggering so someone else might too. So TRIGGER WARNING.



The name of the movie is the killing of.the sacred deer. It's about a cardiologist having to kill one of his family members to atone for accidently (or negligently) killing a patient on the operating table. The son of that patient has put (I think) a curse on the doctor's family where they go through states of a mysterious illness and ultimately will all die unless the doctor kills one.of them.

The story itself is.pretty disturbing to.me but the worst was.somehow the characters. They all.seem.to.cold and callous. I've read reviews of the movie and apparently that's just the director's style. It's some sort of attempt to remove emotion from a story. But the actors don't just appear flat, their actions and the things they say are callous too. There are scenes where they display intense emotion but they just all come across as incredibly selfish people. And scared stiff. And it's a scary situation. An impossible situation with impossible choices that need to be made and they all want to live at any cost.

Fuzzy12 06-07-18 05:01 PM

Re: Intrusive thoughts, feelings
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Fraser_0762 (Post 1997158)
For me the worst thing about it is the feeling that other people can read my thoughts. I get thoughts in my head I don't want there and then have the added worry that everybody else knows what i'm thinking and will judge me as a terrible person because of it.

I get that too Fraser and I hate it.

Fuzzy12 06-07-18 05:09 PM

Re: Intrusive thoughts, feelings
 
I'm back home so I don't have to sleep alone anymore but now the callousness of the characters is stuck in my brain. They had such flat voices. I can have a very flat voice. It sounds flat to.me.. and they talk about such banal and trivial things and suddenly everything I'm saying sounds banal and trivial to.me and flat.

They are violent to their kids as well. Mostly out of desperation and fear. Eg there is a scene where the doctor tries to force feed his son. I remembered it when I tried to brush fuzzling's teeth (which she vehemently opposed) and so I stopped brushing. And even when I talk to her.my voice sounds so flat and callous. And it's not even like I'm wondering what I'd do in that situation or if I'm capable of anything truly horrible (though I always wonder about that as well of course) but the thing that's different this time is whether I'm.like these people even when I'm not doing anything horrible. Like the flatness of the voice. Or saying banal things

In a way I can understand it's scary and creepy but I don't understand why I'm finding it so depressing.

peripatetic 06-07-18 05:16 PM

Re: Intrusive thoughts, feelings
 
it sounds like you're worried that you're like those characters...so that you might be capable of anything, or incapable of properly caring for fuzzling.

that's not who you are, though. it really isn't.

PoppnNSailinMan 06-07-18 05:18 PM

Re: Intrusive thoughts, feelings
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Drogheda (Post 1997157)
do you mean rumination, or the the joyride our brain takes every-once and a while.

a couple of weeks ago I started ruminating again, not a lot. this was new, ever sense about 2 years ago I haven't ruminated at all.

Is rumination the same as what they call "intrusive thoughts"? I ruminate quite a lot, taking something that is bothering me and going over it again and again and again. It sometimes feels like a vicious circle.

Fraser_0762 06-07-18 05:32 PM

Re: Intrusive thoughts, feelings
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by PoppnNSailinMan (Post 1997167)
Is rumination the same as what they call "intrusive thoughts"? I ruminate quite a lot, taking something that is bothering me and going over it again and again and again. It sometimes feels like a vicious circle.


When it's a negative situation, it's like being punished for it over and over again. It can be so exhausting.

peripatetic 06-07-18 06:07 PM

Re: Intrusive thoughts, feelings
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzy12 (Post 1997152)
I don't even want to write too much about it in case that makes them more real but does anyone struggle with this? How.do you deal with it?

because you say you're concerned that discussing will make them more real...and because you're having intrusive thoughts in general...

have you ever been evaluated for OCD?

Greyhound1 06-07-18 06:16 PM

Re: Intrusive thoughts, feelings
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by PoppnNSailinMan (Post 1997167)
Is rumination the same as what they call "intrusive thoughts"? I ruminate quite a lot, taking something that is bothering me and going over it again and again and again. It sometimes feels like a vicious circle.

I suffer from both at times. They are similar but different. Below is a pretty good description of both.

Quote:

Rumination is the compulsively focused attention on the symptoms of one's distress, and on its possible causes and consequences, as opposed to its solutions. This is typically oriented retrospectively, as opposed to prospectively. Some associated experiences are regret, shame, guilt, sadness, and grief.

Intrusive thoughts are unwelcome involuntary thoughts, images, or unpleasant ideas that may become obsessions, are upsetting or distressing, and can be difficult to manage or eliminate. Obsessions are something like foreign events injected into awareness. These are typically present or future oriented, or if they do relate to past content it was very recent in the past and focused on memory doubts or gaps.

Greyhound1 06-07-18 06:21 PM

Re: Intrusive thoughts, feelings
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by peripatetic (Post 1997170)
because you say you're concerned that discussing will make them more real...and because you're having intrusive thoughts in general...

have you ever been evaluated for OCD?

I was thinking the same thing. OCD is the cause of mine.


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