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This may sound crazy but I'm so happy to have ADHD
So 5 years old I was diagnosed with ODD, my parents refused to have me medicated, they said it was just an excuse for a really bad child.
So my whole life I have always wondered what was wrong with me. I fidget, I'm picky, I hear humming and buzzing others don't, I laugh when I get hurt, I laugh when I'm scarred, I can't shut my brain down at night and it takes 3 or 4 hours to fall asleep if I don't smoke weed, I eat like crazy love to eat, so much I have become a really good cook, I talk non stop, I can't stand tight clothes, I can't stand to be touched, I can'tstand the seems in socks to the point I use to cut them out as a child, when I try to sleep I feel the little hairs on my skin lay down and stand up it feels like bugs crawling on my skin, I'm super messy, can't stick to one line of thought, get so depressed death seems like a blessing, and have thought about dying or killing myself a million times, I'm anti-social, yada yada yada yada. So I decided a week ago today to do some research on ADHD, I always ignored it in the past and figured it was over diagnosed, I decided to find out my self. The first thing that caught my eye was laughing under stress, I got scarred and cried. I knew automatically this was me because I was horsing around with a boyfriend he was getting back hitting me in the arm, he kept hitting me in the arm because I was laughing, I ended up with a baseball size bruise. So I asked my parents, "Mom, Dad, when you spanked me as a child did I ever laugh?" "Yes Nicole", I told them that according to my research this is a symptom of ADHD, they went straight to defense, "Fine go take some drugs then.", I tried to explain what I've been going through all these years and that I just want to understand myself better so I know why I'm going through what I'm going through, again defense "Well what were we suppose to do, we couldn't research it back then because there wasn't that much out there on it, and there was no internet. I know now I'm not crazy just really really super charged, without knowing what was wrong with me I have been a single mother, got two degrees, I am the first person in my family to graduate from college, and my daughter is the most balanced child in this family for generations. Death is not an option, whether it is from my ADHD or just me I have always been sheer stubborn will power, unstoppable. Thank God. And the same site that made me realize that I have ADHD said how to not wonder what would have been had I known, well I've got a lot to look forward to now. Now I can stop shrinking back from social situations scarred I will run them off. OR scarred of what I could do to them if I lose my temper. Sorry for running on but it was bottling up in me and all my friends are in disbelief and wont talk to me, one called me a b*tch, I'm ready for new friends needless to say. |
Re: This may sound crazy but I'm so happy to have ADHD
congrats on your diagnosis :) welcome to the forum sweety :) xxx
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Re: This may sound crazy but I'm so happy to have ADHD
Welcome to the forum! :D
I've never heard about the laughing under stress with ADHD, but I totally do it all the time, especially when I'm getting yelled at. :p Drives everyone crazy. On the other hand, it's pretty hard to yell at someone when they're laughing and breaking the tension, so maybe it was a defense mechanism too? Congrats on 2 degrees! That's awesome! What in? |
Re: This may sound crazy but I'm so happy to have ADHD
Information Technology with a specialization in software engineering ones an associates the others a bacchelors, I'm going back now for a masters.
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Re: This may sound crazy but I'm so happy to have ADHD
welcome to forums.
word of the wise: you can post walls of text provided youre willing to accept the fact that most of us (like me) will read the first couple of sentences and the last one only |
Re: This may sound crazy but I'm so happy to have ADHD
I used to laugh when I was a child when I injured myself. I hardly felt pain so I think I was trying to have a response and not knowing how I was meant to react I laughed. I don't laugh when I'm scared, I talk, loudly. I think these are some weird coping mechanisms to help us deal with stressful situations.
It's not necessarily an ADHD thing. I don't think. Welcome. |
Re: This may sound crazy but I'm so happy to have ADHD
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That's OK, you're here now! So, they could figure out the ODD, but not the ADHD? :umm1: No matter, now you know and can move FORWARD! YAY! :yes: |
Re: This may sound crazy but I'm so happy to have ADHD
I can relate with the parents!
My mom straight up grabbed me by the elbow like I was 5 and tried to march me right in to a doctor who could tell me I was just being dramatic.:rolleyes: Not too mention, I she gasped in horror when I told her about the co-morbid disorders that accompany my fake adhd. :giggle: I haven't spoken to my dad in 9 months because of it. My bf says "It's like a Christmas Miracle!" Ha ha something finally worked. I made a decision not too long ago that I was going to do what is best for ME! Not what my mom thinks. Not what my sister thinks. What is best for me! You keep at it and I'm glad you found the forums. Everyone is amazing. Most days, I find all the support I need right here. ;) Good Luck. |
Re: This may sound crazy but I'm so happy to have ADHD
youre not crazy you are just relieved.
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Re: This may sound crazy but I'm so happy to have ADHD
also, i dont know if i actual laugh in pain, but i do seem to never learn my lesson. like if i bug my cousins (only some, and more in my younger crazier times) they would hit me or slap my arm and i kept bothering them until they noted "why dont you stop, do you like this? are you a masochist?". i am not a masochist for the record cuz i dont get any pleasure, let alone sexual pleasure, from pain unless it's while doing a task that will prove beneficial in the end.
does that count as me liking the pain or is that me just being too stupid to learn the lesson? also why was your boyfriend hitting your arm? was he abusive? regardless though it sounds like you enjoy your life and are having a ball right now |
Re: This may sound crazy but I'm so happy to have ADHD
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Re: This may sound crazy but I'm so happy to have ADHD
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No no, LOL, I knew someone would eventually catch that, no we were playing, it went to far, we were sitting on a picnic table I grabbed his ankles pulled and he fell and almost busted his head open. Then when I sat next to him laid on his lap looked up he took advantage of the oppurtunity, lol. I just kept laughing, I could see the frustration on his face he was trying to get me to say uncle, HA! I won! With a big purple badge on my arm. |
Re: This may sound crazy but I'm so happy to have ADHD
Wow, I love to laugh but can't connect it with anything specific but nhammers you mentioned being happy having ADD/HD, god, I can remember so many times when my mind lit up like a christmas tree with joy, creativity, and so many wonderful ideas and visions, I miss those wonderful sparks that have died down as I age.
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Re: This may sound crazy but I'm so happy to have ADHD
Maybe A little odd(no just kidding).:) Your happy to know what's wrong & there is nothing crazy about it believe me.
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Re: This may sound crazy but I'm so happy to have ADHD
Whoa, I didnt realize laughing as a response to stress or pain was ADHD-related. A few things just fell into place... :thankyou:
Most notably, that time when my (ex) girlfriend told me she had cheated on me (which I already suspected), and in response I laughed, surprising us both. At the time I wondered if the "ha, I knew it!" response was stronger than the "****, you betrayed me!" response, and I felt kind of bad about it. But reading your post just now, this makes a lot more sense, and Im relieved that I am actually not that emotionally detached; my response to stress/pain is simply mixed up! :yes: :giggle: |
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