New diagnosis(?) (Long post but advice please!)
 

Hello,

I have been a long time reader but am a first time poster. Sorry my first post is so long but I hope some of you can give me some insight/advice...

I recently went to see a psychologist who went through a rather lengthy list of questions going over my habits, medical history/health, concerns, feelings/status, etc. In the middle of this, she asks me "have you ever been diagnosed with ADHD?" Afterwards, she thought that I strongly showed signs of ADHD. This is at odds with what I heard before from another professional...

First of all, I am an adult woman (hence the subforum choice). I did below average to average in elementary, well in middle and high school, barely scraped through college, did well at my job initially but nearly got kicked out for always being late and not doing the work, went to graduate school and had the same deal with work which resulted in me quitting. I was diagnosed with depression in college - meds and therapy did not help at all. I was diagnosed again with depression in graduate school - same deal. However, I told my therapist I felt like my mind was spinning in circles or treading water when I tried to think which resulted in a referral to someone who evaluated me about ADHD.

After some questions, he said I definitely did not suffer from it. Still, my meds weren't working, I couldn't adhere to a regular sleeping schedule as my psych told me to, exercising didn't seem to help me, taking supplements did not help either. I STILL couldn't concentrate: I could read the same thing over and over again and it would not register. I could hear something and forget it a second later or just miss out on parts of conversations or lectures. It got harder and harder to think because my brain felt like it was a slow computer. I looked up ADHD and a lot of the inattentive symptoms fit.

I went back to see the guy who evaluated me for ADHD (he wasn't an ADHD specialist) and asked if he could listen to my history and my problems rather than going off of the fact that I did not get into any trouble at school. He gave me an evaluation to make sure I wasn't suffering from something else + the computurized attention test. I scored ok to very well on some of the test and inconclusively on the computerized test. Still, he insisted I was too smart to have ADHD.

After quitting school, I still could not get my life on track. I was still:
-late to everything
-late at paying my bills
-could not concentrate because things would not register or I would get distracted by everything
-could not stop zoning out in conversations with people (or just plain pay attention)
-could not respond to emails in a timely manner because they required too much thought or I forgot (lot of irritated co-workers and friends). My boss got to emailing me the same email if I didn't reply in 2 days.
-procrastinating like a pro (this used to work when I was younger...)
-not able to start anything that required my brain to think (maybe just lazy?)
-not able to finish anything I started (hobbies and work)
-MESSY. If there was a "Messiest desk" competition, I would win it
-can't sit still without fidgeting (doctor commented on that during our appointment)
-feeling like my head was an electron cloud or had one of those high bounce balls bouncing around so fast that I didn't even know what my brain was doing
-can't sleep at a decent hour because I've always hated lying in bed for hours trying to fall asleep
-and more that don't remember

I was worried my depression was just going to never get better and I'll sit around and get nothing done. I went to see yet another doctor in the hopes of getting help when she told me she thought I was struggling with ADHD. SHE actually listened to everything I had to say and asked me very detailed questions about my life. When I told her what the last person had said she said that girls show ADHD differently than boys and that excluding ADHD just because I did well in school is not justified. It is not uncommon for someone to be able to compensate for symptoms for a while. As an aside note, she thought that maybe that was why the depression meds or therapy didn't help. So now, I am looking at getting some med help because I can't seem to handle things on my own despite trying all my life.

So, I ask you ladies:
1. Does any of this sound familiar?
2. I don't really know who to trust in this. I am so sick and tired of battling depression and getting 0 results...so am I giving too much credit to the most recent doctor simply because I don't think that depression is the issue? Are those evaluation tests accurate/dependable?
3. For those of you taking meds for adhd, what is it like? Does it help with focus? How long does it take to work?


Once again, sorry I practically wrote a book and I hope that this didn't discourage too many of you from reading. I really appreciate the time and any advice you can give. Thank you!

:)

Re: New diagnosis(?) (Long post but advice please!)
 

I just wanted to say a huge YES to your first question.
Your story sounds very familiar.

Sorry, I can't write too much a this time because we are approaching mid-afternoon where I live and I experience brain fog most days around now.

I'll try and give you a more complete response after I reboot later.

Don't despair, you are among friends and you are asking great questions.
:)

Re: New diagnosis(?) (Long post but advice please!)
 

oooh there´s a lot of you that sounds just like me, I think my worst problem is that things just don´t register, it´s like my brain is just a big black hole!! anyway my son has ADHD but I have been thinking that maybe I have it, but dismissed it because, like you, I did well in school.
Anyway my son´s diagnosis seems to be a lot more indepth than yours. As well as the questions that you have been asked, he had to do around 8 hours (not all in one hit) of different tests some timed and others not, these included reading, concentration using letters and smiley faces and computers, hearing, comprehension both oral and written, maths tests, coordination. intelligence tests. In fact pages and pages of tests.

My son´s psychologist said that my son was too intelligent to have ADHD. He has seen two other educational specialists who have said ADHD kids can be low, normal or high intelligence.

I hope you get some more helpful answers but your post has made me think that I should get tested myself.

Hope you get the help you need.

Re: New diagnosis(?) (Long post but advice please!)
 

I can identify with this.

Re: New diagnosis(?) (Long post but advice please!)
 

Thank you all for your responses...it's nice to know that I'm not a weirdo. I have been looking more into ADHD in women and have found out a lot of new information. Some of it is like looking back at my life...Everyone I see just pushes a depression or anxiety diagnosis on me. After months and months of meds and no results, I am just switched to a different med or have the dosage upped despite the fact that I tell the DR it isn't helping me at all. So many times has the DR told me that I need to do better about the lifestyle changes he wanted me to implement when I told him (truthfully) that I just couldn't seem to do it despite all my best efforts. If I couldn't sleep on a regular schedule, I'd get sleeping aids pushed onto me rather than looking for other answers. Always told "try harder" no matter what.

Amberwillow, thanks for your encouraging post. I was wondering about brain fog. I happened to come upon a post with those words and everyone tried to describe it in a different way but I think "brain fog" is also something that can be present in anxiety and depression. Would you mind describing what it feels like to you? And is the mid-afternoon brain slump an ADHD trait? I have always had my brain almost shut off a little after lunch until evening but just attributed that to lunch sleepiness.


LindaGreen, I definitely have the problem of things not registering. The person speaking is talking...I know what all of the words mean but somehow, it doesn't come together to mean anything. It's like the words are just swimming in my head or whole sentences didn't even reach my head. I actually did have an evaluation that included math, memory, coordination, etc. My results ranged from the 50th to 99th percentile in some subjects but the test wasn't 8 hours long. I think it was only 3. When my results came back, he almost had a "you're smart so I don't know why you're thinking you have ADHD" tone with me. He was surprised that I was always really interested in psychological evaluations (ie WHY people do what they do and how they determine what to look for) but didn't pursue that any further (my point was that since I am interested, I was better able to focus). When I asked him "could I just be super lazy then?" he answered "yes" without knowing anything about me besides my test results.

That experience made me feel like I was really stupid and lazy but I couldn't see any way I could get any better at my laziness or depression because I had already gone beyond my limits in effort.

Re: New diagnosis(?) (Long post but advice please!)
 

Sounds like me and my ADD. I'm in school to become a counselor and I have counselors for myself and my kids, and have done a TON of research. ADHD actually can make highly intelligent people have trouble achieving their full potential. It can be very debilitating. I have spent 2 years in counseling and reading every journal and magazine article/book I can. I STILL have a TON to learn. I'm just now getting committed to staying on meds and having challenges with that. Meds aren't a "quick fix". You may have unpredictability and lots of side effects at first. I'd look for a great dr. or child psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD. Adult/General psych's are NOT trained in ADHD at all in med school. Neither are all dr's and counselors. Some/Many counselors have just taken a college course that covered ADHD in a few chapters. Certainly, they do not know as much about ADHD as most of the people on this board. If you want to get to the bottom of it, you will have to scour everything you can, educate yourself like crazy (use your hyperfocus to do this), and then go ARMED into the offices of those you choose to treat you and help you manage this disorder.

My guess is that most likely, you will find this a journey, not a destination. But it can make a huge difference in your life if you take charge of your healthcare.

:)

Re: New diagnosis(?) (Long post but advice please!)
 

I actually feel like I reached my full potential years ago because of my inability to focus.

As for reading into ADHD, I am definitely using my ability to spend hours and hours on a topic to learn more. I just feel that there are people out there that won't listen to what I have learned simply because they have the PhD or the MD and I don't.

I have yet another DR's appointment coming up since the psych was a PhD, not an MD and therefore did not have the ability to prescribe meds. She recommended I take meds because she realized that I could use a little help. I know that these meds won't be a quick fix but...I just want to be functional. I know people may think I'm lazy for wishing I had some meds to help but I feel like I've tried everything I could to get things done...it's hard to explain. If I could just snap out of it or "fix" things by trying harder, I would. However, I am worried that if I take my arsenal of knowledge to the DR, he/she might think I am just trying to score some stimulant meds. It means so much to me that the psychologist thought I had ADHD and I am worried that any other DR will just default to the depression/anxiety and refuse to help.

I'm sorry if that sounded whiny...ADHD isn't a great thing to have but the thought of it not being depression (primarily) sounds hopeful to me. I would rather fix the problem I have than a problem someone else thinks I have simply because they are too unconcerned to take a closer look.

Re: New diagnosis(?) (Long post but advice please!)
 

Sounds a lot like me. I'd try to find someone who specializes in ADHD (google is your friend) and get another opinion. I got lucky and the Psychiatrist that my Pdoc sent me to specialized in Adult ADHD and after two very long sessions he said I definitely had it (runs in mothers family and son has it). I have always gotten good grades, B's and am an avid reader if it's something I like. High intelligence does not mean that the ADHD doesn't exist, just that it hides it better.
Meds aren't a quick fix but they can help. I am on 60mg Vyvanse and it is working well, I get about 9 hours but for now that is ok, once school starts I may have to adjust. I am not nearly as irritable, can focus better and am much better able to deal with my son, and life in general (my hubby says the meds make a big difference). I still have a lot of issues to work on (procrastination, eating habits, organization,...) but am taking it one step at a time. In 3 weeks I go back to school with two hard fast paced classes and a third with a lot of short papers (one of the hardest things for me is to write a paper). Best of luck!!!

Re: New diagnosis(?) (Long post but advice please!)
 

Silverunicorn, thanks for sharing your experience. I'm glad that there are people on these forums that have had similar experiences. I remember struggling so much in school, trying to get my thoughts in order or on track. I hope that you make it through school well :)

Re: New diagnosis(?) (Long post but advice please!)
 

Hi, in answer to your questiin, keeoing in mind that i am only a person with ADHD-PI, it sounds familar.

I never got in "trouble" at school.

Obviously, i cant say "you have ADHD" but the messy desk comptetiin, the procrastination, etc is me.

My marks in school were a range.

Re: New diagnosis(?) (Long post but advice please!)
 

Yes, this is me to a "T." I tried a couple of meds way back when, but am unsure if I could tolerate them now. Life feels very out of control. I may have to try to take them if I'm going to continue in school for retraining for a new career at age 40. I use caffeene often, and don't realize I'm self medicating.