im messing up
 

Ahh everything is breaking in my hands, if I have somebody stuff something goes wrong with it and I didn't even do anything, it just messes up. Then when I have to explain, pssh sucks. I have the worst luck everrr, I seriously do...and school is horrible, I wake up 2 hours before class, it takes about 15 minutes to get there and I always somehow get there late. I get the assignments and do them til the last second. In class I forget my papers, so sometimes I'm a bit behind. I suck and I know what I have to do but I nvr follow up. I get motivated a couple hours or days then I'm back to not doing nothing and bs..I'm just all talk no action, and when people see me screwing up they think I just don't care about nothing and so on. Great everything is great. No I am in a great mood I'm a bit happy but its everything else and what I'm doing and all the bad luck that comes up is what sucksssss. I'm just messing up simple as that, no meds, working but barely saving up to see a doc cuz of **** I have to pay and me being stupid by buying things I don't need(at first I'm interested buy whatever but after a day or so I never touch it again). I'm a mess and I'm messing up. Its somewhat like a car on full, you can move and go anywhere but you don't, your just in park(sucky example). For me I can be in a way better position and go somewhere but I don't do anything. and people are like wtf? They wonder why I don't do anything right when they know I can do a lot. I'm a messsssssssssss. Good job self, great at doing nothing and having bad luck.

Re: im messing up
 

Sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time..

I know this probably doesn't help but I can TOTALLY relate. Especially about waking up early and still managing to be late to class.. Hang in there!!!

Re: im messing up
 

Gotta turn maladaptive into adaptive, takes work. I gotta have music, headphones work best. Or else I sometimes don't even sense the mind clutter. If no one else is there to tell you go, time to go, hurry up, you've got so and so minutes you can do it yourself... I talk to myself all the time to keep me focused on getting out the door and not doing unnecessary tasks. Turn the t.v. off, put away the game system; some of the worst sensory distractions I had to remove from my life. Don't go shopping till you have a need for something specific, don't take the long way in the store, and never use a basket. In and out, and keep telling yourself you want it you don't need that materialistic junk. As for the in and out funks of motivation even I have no cure but usually the environment for the task. If I don't leave the house and go the college library I won't get anything done. Or you could hire someone to walk behind you with a cattle prod. I myself have contemplated if it would be effective. It is all words though and ever so noneffective in changing any actual problems. Its nice to dream though :grouphug: