want to share my daughter´s pearls of wisdom
 

Just wanted to share with you something my 16 year old daughter said. She is failing miserably at school, and we don´t know why and she is currently seeing a psychologist.

Anyway she said to me the other day that she quite likes talking to the private psychologist rather than the school one. When I asked her why she said it was because he saw her as a person not a pupil, she said "mum I am more than my school grades, my school grades don´t define who I am".

She is so right. So much of our kids´lives are spent at school that it can seem that the only thing that is important to parents and teachers is school grades. That they are judged solely on grades.

So many ADHD sufferers feel a failure because of school grades, they feel stupid and worthless and a burden to families.

I try to encourage other hobbies. My son does taekwondo and is very good at it and has won medals so this really boosts his self confidence, makes him feel that he is good at something.

Re: want to share my daughter´s pearls of wisdom
 

That's some good insight on your daughter's part -- and kudos to you for recognizing the wisdom in it!

(And congrats to your son for his taekwondo achievements!)

Re: want to share my daughter´s pearls of wisdom
 

We didn't have a school counselor when I was in school, so I can't validate

that comparison, but it certainly sounds true.

My daughter was an artist in school, I hung her art all over the house.

I was so proud of her. Really thought she would go on to art school. Nope.


My oldest granddaughter has a really beautiful singing voice and that is her passion.

She won the elementary school school talent contest. She's had solos in

concerts in middle school. And she's entered a national talent contest but

didn't win to go on to the next level. Next time, I think she really could.

She's taken some vocal lessons too.


My youngest granddaughter (Autistic) has an amazing imagination, and

I can see her writing books or blogs or something (her keyboard skills are

awesome having had no classes) or doing something in front of a camera.

Re: want to share my daughter´s pearls of wisdom
 

I love your daughter and I have ALWAYS felt the same way. The cold, hard fact is, once you're past 2nd grade or so, school(not college) is about learning how to socialize and how to learn how to deal with being bored all day like you probably will be at your job. This always ****** me off to no end, just, anything about how school is looked at and done in this and most countries just sickens me. My child(ren) will not be put through that miserable hellhole that school can be for many people unless they ended up being one of the popular kids who actually have fun at school instead of me. I can't tell you how many times it got so unbearably boring in high school I went in to the bathroom and induced vomiting to go home early XD I hate how people think grades define who they are. Yeah, you get straight As, congratz, you're the best at dealing with boredom.

All throughout high school I just wanted to drop out and work so badly, but my dad thinks GED people never get jobs :\

Re: want to share my daughter´s pearls of wisdom
 

Geno, ok this is the first time that I am going to voice my opinion to anyone, but I don´t really think school is the be all and end all, I won´t make my kids continue higher education if they don´t want to. My daughter is failing but to be honest it´s not the worst thing that can happen. I would rather them be happy than suffer at school. So far she wants to continue and I will support her whatever her decision.

I skipped school a lot and by age 15 didn´t go at all so have no formal education just a lot of life education. I had a couple of years of crappy paid jobs but so much fun. In two of my jobs my workmates were gay guys. It was the most fun ever hanging out with those guys, going to clubs and seeing whole different way of life.

Then I went back to college (though I failed the entrance exam) but they thought I was clever enough. It was a typing and business studies course. I couldn´t afford to stay so learned to type in 6 weeks and left and got a series of temping jobs in law firms. At first I was crap but slowly learned the legal lingo, got fired a few times and then landed a really well paid job. My boss was pedantic, nervous and prone to panic a lot which strangely always made me super calm, focused and efficient. He was my ritalin. Let me have loads of time off for therapy.

I stayed at the law firm for 20 years, I got paid more than my university friends, my sister has a masters, I earned enough to buy myself a flat and car (loads of overtime). work was a blast, great people, very diverse, from office photocopier to senior partner, we all partied together, the office even had it´s own bar for while, until people started drinking Perrier water.

Husband dyslexic, adhd total school failure and doing very well in life thanks.

Living in Spain, education here is not the best but not bad, but so text book dull. It has a very high school drop out rate but the majority of my Spanish friends have their own businesses and are very business savvy.

Someone on this site sent me this link, you might find it interesting.

http://www.ted.com/talks/ken_robinso...reativity.html

Re: want to share my daughter´s pearls of wisdom
 

Good for your daughter AND great for you for supporting her. I took my daughter out of her school this year because of exactly that reason. She wasn't a person to them, she was a body who did work. When she couldn't get that work done I was called and told trhere was no point in her being there if she wasn't going to do her work. Seriously, I couldn't speak I was so shocked that came out of a teachers mouth. I have a great girl, with many talents, but because she didn't copy or do her work fast enough she had no value there. It's a pretty sad what our schools have come to. They didn't deserve to spend all day with my daughter. They were slowly destroying her. She would rebound each summer, but it would all start again in Sept.

She is at an amazing new school who values her as a whole person. She has learned so much this year and feels so good about herself I barely see any problematic ADHD symptoms left. It is in an outdoor environment and she is sooo calm there.
No flourescent lighting, No incredibly brightly decorated wall displays to catch her attention and make her lose focus on her paper, No desks to trap her, No chalkboards full of words she can't read very well yet.

NO getting in trouble because she couldn't sit still for 20 minutes each and EVERY morning as they went through the day of the week, month, counted how many days of school they'd had etc. I could just SEE how boring that was for her. Then having to sit for another 20 minutes during show and tell while 5 kids told about their prized possessions EVERYDAY. Yikes.

Our schools have become contrived, static institutions that serve a very small % of the children who are true academics. It's not REAL.

She no longer has tantrums, no sulking, no stress, just a happy little girl who LOVES school. They don't stress her out to write when she can't. No getting sent to the hall. She can go with the younger grades if she wants. She is valued as a person. I wish everyone had this option.

Re: want to share my daughter´s pearls of wisdom
 

mommytriz. So glad your daughter is happy now. Few things hurt worse than when your child is hurting, good for you for taking her out.

Re: want to share my daughter´s pearls of wisdom
 

I went to private schools too. Although not a private school as in "special", private as in a catholic school. They were the same damn thing as public schools, only difference is they teach religion and you pray during the morning announcements and before you leave.