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-   -   Do you ever feel like most people don't believe what you say? (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=188813)

InvitroCanibal 11-09-17 04:58 AM

Do you ever feel like most people don't believe what you say?
 
I had an epiphany, that I don't like talking to people because I always get the impression that they don't believe what I am saying.

It's the strangest thing, but I only realized it today.

I'm wondering if anyone else has this experience when they talk to to people. (Anyone, including family.)

Thanks

Little Missy 11-09-17 08:11 AM

Re: Do you ever feel like most people don't believe what you say?
 
Yes.

All the time. Or they misunderstand what I'm saying.

Dogs have no problem understanding what I tell them.

Fuzzy12 11-09-17 08:18 AM

Re: Do you ever feel like most people don't believe what you say?
 
I'm the least convincing person I know. I think people just don't take me seriously. Maybe that is similar to not being believed.

I also don't express myself well and I talk fast and not very clearly. People misunderstand me a lot as well.

My family thinks I'm a crazy little girl who doesn't know anything and just got a lot of crazy ideas about everything.

Unmanagable 11-09-17 11:11 AM

Re: Do you ever feel like most people don't believe what you say?
 
Yup.

But I keep saying it all anyway.

peripatetic 11-09-17 09:52 PM

Re: Do you ever feel like most people don't believe what you say?
 
It depends on the topic. I know for fact people disbelieve me about certain things. They believe I believe what I'm saying. They just think I'm delusional. You know what, though? **** them.

acdc01 11-09-17 10:06 PM

Re: Do you ever feel like most people don't believe what you say?
 
Sometimes and sometimes not. Many times i couldn't convince people of my ideas at one point.

I realize now it was for a few reasons. Main was because they just didn't think the same way as me. I couldn't really imagine what made them afraid to try my idea cause what risks they saw, I didn't really see as a risk at all. Plus how I presented the ideas to them was wrong.

I finally learned that the best way (for me anyway) to get what I want is to present my ideas in person and in a group setting. I could better gage their reaction as i watched them in person and fears they didn't say over say an email could be coaxed out of them when speaking with them directly. Also, when one of my ideas was radically different from what they had done before, it was better to say in public cause they could hear others liking the idea as well so would be less afraid to try something different.

Course, I figured all this out after I stopped giving a crap at work so was a little too late.

I sometimes am afraid people listen to me more than they should. Like I think i can sound very convincing sometimes cause I can sound very logical. But sometimes the logic is wrong, yet I still sound like I'm right I think.

Tbh, I'm afraid sometimes of the responses I give here and that it's wrong but I'll still have convinced people that my idea is the right one.

I'm actually surprised you feel that way invitro cause you often sound extremely convincing to me. You often seem extremely passionate in your arguments and you express your passion in a style that is so poetically beautiful it's hard not to be drawn into your beliefs. I know you've riled me up to quit my job and follow my dreams many times (until I couldn't get my self to move to make it happen lol though I really am doing it now but it's cause in addition to your and unmanagables posts that have influenced me, I just cant can't stand work any longer).

Wire Mother 11-10-17 06:02 PM

Re: Do you ever feel like most people don't believe what you say?
 
Yeah. I'm very good at written communication, but when I talk my brain is racing too fast, and there are often too many things I'm trying to communicate (or not communicate) at once, thus my speech patterns veer between choppy (stumbling over words and almost stuttering) and a headlong, rapid torrent (that too often goes off on tangents).

I may not come off as stupid, or intentionally dishonest, but when I talk to people (especially strangers), I feel like I come across as scatterbrained, not entirely credible, and, frankly, kind of a dork. So I've learned to roll with it and laugh at myself, because what else am I going to do?

If I need to convey an important idea, persuade somebody, or bring up tricky emotional stuff, I write it down to get all of my points straight, and rehearse saying it ahead of time. Which means I'm pretty good at public speaking or giving presentations or giving bad news, but revert to being a total dork during any social chit-chat afterward. (Unless, of course, alcohol enters the picture, but since booze and I aren't really friends, it rarely does.)

I will say this, however: the worst of my anxieties at potentially not being believed (or taken seriously) came from being the child of a Narcissist who routinely belittled me, and accused me of being dramatic or telling stories just to get attention. Getting over the effects of his mental and emotional abuse really helped in that regard; if I worry that I'm not being believed these days, it's because of how I'm saying things, not what I'm saying.

sarahsweets 11-11-17 11:12 AM

Re: Do you ever feel like most people don't believe what you say?
 
I think most people believe what I say because I am so honest now that its almost a flaw. I didnt used to be as honest when I was drinking because of having to sneak around and hide it. Lying is easier when you have secret you need to keep. You start lying to protect the secret and then all lying comes easy.Hardest thing I had to learn was to value honesty.
That said, My BS skills have always been good in a fun way. I used to always love that game balderdash where you make up fake definitions of words and get people to vote for yours.

allesandro1 11-20-17 02:39 PM

Re: Do you ever feel like most people don't believe what you say?
 
I do feel that way when things go wrong because I think people always assume it's just me ******* up again

midnightstar 11-20-17 03:40 PM

Re: Do you ever feel like most people don't believe what you say?
 
Sometimes people don't believe me with something I say, other times they do, depends what I'm saying and what they decide is true and false :)

Drogheda 11-21-17 06:25 PM

Re: Do you ever feel like most people don't believe what you say?
 
I wouldn't say it's that they don't believe what you say, but can't because you probably have more experience on the topic than they do.

for instance,in college I'm doing marketing, one of my duties is to figure out new marketing strategies.

I do the math and make a chart, each share on social marketing raises contact by 2000%

I tell the people I'm working with this and how they need to share because it is important. I say why it is important, I talk about the Facebook and twitter algorithm thinking this is common knowledge.

no one does it. I wonder why and ask around.

what I figured out is, no one understood a word I said about algorithms and Facebook/twitter, they also didn't understand what a ratio had anything to do with shares.... and I was like.... what?

so I showed them and started getting results.

one thing that I've come to realize is, most peopole with ADHD are pretty smart cookies. we do research beyond what we probably needed to and when presented we actually have way to much information for others to absorb, even though we are used to absorbing information in such a manner. if your like me, I go out of my way because I know that the only way to solve the next problem is to understand as much of the problem as possible.

so, I think each of us needs to stop being to hard on ourselves in this respect. realize that communication is always key and figure out how to better improve it (by, say, showing these people instead of saying why it's good for algorithms).


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