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-   -   No Longer Have any Interests - Just Sleepwalking Through Life (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=190551)

chris87 02-26-18 08:45 PM

No Longer Have any Interests - Just Sleepwalking Through Life
 
I'm always complaining about my lack of motivation, poor productivity, and disappointment with life. For some reason, I've overlooked the fact that I no longer have any interests. When I was younger, I disliked school, but I always loved learning about my own topics of interest. I would read constantly, research on the internet, and always seemed to be learning something new.

I'm not sure what happened, but I really have no interests anymore. I haven't read a book in years, and I have no desire to learn anything. At least not anything that requires deep, thorough knowledge. I'm okay with a cursory understanding, but anything technical is too tiring for my brain. I feel such disappointment with my life, and it bothers me that I'm not working hard enough to improve. The only thing I can say that I actually enjoy is home DIY work (electrical, remodeling, home automation, some computer networking, etc). I end up feeling worse about myself, because I feel like I have "blue collar" hobbies. I'm ashamed that I've amounted to nothing and have not lived up to my potential. I know that I can do better, but I feel so stuck, pessimistic, and defeated. Has anyone else felt like this?

TL;DR - I realized that I no longer have any interests. I used to have various topics that I enjoyed, and I would get excited learning all that I could about them. I no longer have that enthusiasm. I haven't read a book in years and don't feel like doing anything. I'm embarrassed that my life is such a failure.

sarahsweets 02-26-18 09:57 PM

Re: No Longer Have any Interests - Just Sleepwalking Through Life
 
Quote:

I end up feeling worse about myself, because I feel like I have "blue collar" hobbies. I'm ashamed that I've amounted to nothing and have not lived up to my potential. I know that I can do better, but I feel so stuck, pessimistic, and defeated. Has anyone else felt like this?
Not only is that offensive to yourself but its offensive to others. Whats wrong with blue collar anything and what do you think defines success?
Why do you see your life as a failure simply because you havent read and books or learned anything special?

userguide 02-27-18 01:05 AM

Re: No Longer Have any Interests - Just Sleepwalking Through Life
 
What kind of hobbies would be "white collar" ?

I will need that for a dating profile I guess ;)



I somehow relate, I used to have a lot more joy for hobbies when I was younger.
Maybe you need better medicine.

sighduck 02-27-18 01:11 AM

Re: No Longer Have any Interests - Just Sleepwalking Through Life
 
Yeah, this is just how I felt before I finally got my diagnosed and began Concerta...

These symptoms sound very much like depression, which Soooo easily develops from poorly treated ADHD

DeClutter 02-27-18 04:26 AM

Re: No Longer Have any Interests - Just Sleepwalking Through Life
 
I get what you are saying there, Chris87

Probably it feels like all the energy you could bring up or gained from your old interests has evaporated. These activities don't seem to be rewarding anymore. They instead cost you energy and somehow you feel even guilty and judge yourself for not being able to enjoy things and get ahead in life.

What used to fuel me in life was my job, which is basically a "best of" of all my interests. In a way i should be thankfull i have such a job, on the other hand - and this the catch - the way we motivate ourselves often has certain qualities in common with an addiction.

We live too fast and burn out fast that way. And with focussing on external stimuli so much to feel good, we tend to run the risk we forget about our inner world and run into a depression sooner or later. In that way ADD can have parallels with bipolar disorder, where intense periods often strand in depression or burnout.


I don't know if that all resonates with you?


Do you know why you get drawn to home DIY work? Could it be that this is something that does not require social connection, and something you can totally control. Or is home DIY work a way to work on yourself, to improve yourself, without really focusing on yourself?



Finally i notice a lot of negativity towards yourself. What came first? Did you first loose your interests, or did you first start to become negative towards yourself? I wondered about this myself, with all the damage add can do to our lives, we sometimes blame ourselves and our personality so much that we become our very own torturer.

Because willpower sometimes can suppress or override our symptoms, we have the illusion that if only we were strong enough and tried harder we would not be that "defect". While in fact just trying harder eventually exhausts our willpower and enjoyment of life and makes things worse.

Eventually we end up in a toxic relationship with ourselves till we are able to see ADD loose from our personality, and stop judging ourselves for it.

allesandro1 02-27-18 11:17 AM

Re: No Longer Have any Interests - Just Sleepwalking Through Life
 
Don't be embarrassed, it's called anhedonia. I could say I've been in the same boat for some time now. I wish I had an answer or suggestion but I don't.

Little Nut 02-27-18 11:53 AM

Re: No Longer Have any Interests - Just Sleepwalking Through Life
 
Hi chris, this is not some knee jerk diagnosis, but it was the first thing that came to mind reading your post. I was thinking what can easily show him that his situation may not be that unusual and if properly identified, it may be addressed. HTH and GL, -LN [/url]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dysthymia
(I messed w/ the link because I'm not really sure which links are ok and which aren't.)

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finallyfound10 02-27-18 01:21 PM

Re: No Longer Have any Interests - Just Sleepwalking Through Life
 
It sounds like depression. I know it well, unfortunately.

I just learned this term yesterday "Persistent Depressive Disorder" which they said is really just dysthymia (low-grade depression, is less severe than major depression but more chronic.)

I am on an anti-depressant which has helped but not enough. There is a depression thread on here that is helpful. Google depression and inflammation. There is a ton of information about it and it makes so much sense!! Our brain and body may be dealing with inflammation! I'm going to post about it on the depression thread soon.

ToneTone 02-27-18 02:07 PM

Re: No Longer Have any Interests - Just Sleepwalking Through Life
 
Yes, I've gone through periods where I feel like I have accomplished nothing.

Sure ... and yes, some of those periods came when I was depressed.

In my case ... and I'm speculating about yours ... there was a really harsh voice that would pop out and yell at me and diminish me for anything .... Like this voice expected me to be running 10 miles a day on weekends and doing hang-gliding and reading books ... and oh ... making a ton of money--can't forget that one.

Dude, the blue-collar/white collar thing is breaking down these days ... you ever watched HDTV? ... being able to fix and repair a house ... that requires high-level skills and creativity ... But somehow you labeling this work as "inferior."

Definitely get to someone about possible depression ....

Depression generates this negativity and self-attacks ... But also you want to do some talking-back to your self-criticism.

Instead of putting down and diminishing what you do now, I will encourage you to think about what you want to add to your life ...

So where are you now in terms of medication and or therapy? ....

You really don't want to trust the feelings you're having now ... Depression is so powerful in convincing us that we're worthless ... But it's a monster you can scare away if you take it on directly ... First step is to get to someone who can show you some new strategies and ways of thinking.

Sometimes meds alone can do the trick ...

Tone

chris87 02-27-18 04:07 PM

Re: No Longer Have any Interests - Just Sleepwalking Through Life
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by sarahsweets (Post 1986773)
Not only is that offensive to yourself but its offensive to others. Whats wrong with blue collar anything and what do you think defines success?
Why do you see your life as a failure simply because you havent read and books or learned anything special?

I'm sorry; I didn't mean this in a disparaging way, and I apologize if that's how it sounded. What I was trying to say is that I feel so much pressure to succeed in some type of "academic" field.

Gypsy Willow 02-27-18 06:10 PM

Re: No Longer Have any Interests - Just Sleepwalking Through Life
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by chris87 (Post 1986914)
I'm sorry; I didn't mean this in a disparaging way, and I apologize if that's how it sounded. What I was trying to say is that I feel so much pressure to succeed in some type of "academic" field.

Well, just because you do vocational work or hobbies as opposed to playing golf at the country club with Biff and Muffy doesn't make you any less successful. At all!

I've known plenty of "academic" people who may have made alot of money but that was their whole identity! These folks really forgot who they were or where they came from.

I understand the lack of interest thing. I was like that for over a year. I lost my sister and was sick all the time and finally said ENOUGH!!! I quit the job, (last day is tomorrow) and am going back to temp/contract work for now. Just a change of scenery is amazing.

Keep us updated!!

tristmegitus2 03-06-18 09:54 PM

Re: No Longer Have any Interests - Just Sleepwalking Through Life
 
You could always try cognitive behavioral therapy that is if you can find a facility that does it. Look it up.


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