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Old 11-19-04, 06:49 PM
at_wits_end at_wits_end is offline

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Originally Posted by KarenC
Besides doesn't "fixing" imply that your partner is essentially "broken." How do you think that makes them feel? If your partner had, say, diabetes, would you expect them to be cured? No - you'd expect that they be treated.
**** I come from a family with a long history of mental illness on my mother's side, so I guess I view mental disorders as something that can be "fixed" if enough time, effort, medication, and patience is applied by all concerned. To your question, frankly yes an ADD'er is "broken" IMO; if they weren't, we wouldn't be here because there would be nothing to "fix". Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to blame her or ADD'ers or make them feel like dirt. It's not their fault that they have this condition. I certainly have plenty of flaws too, some that are within my control and some that are not. While ADDer's do have a serious MEDICAL problem, it's one that certainly *something* can be done to "fix", "solve", or at least "improve" their condition, right? If not, why are we all here? Misery loves company?!?

Originally Posted by Freddyj
So it may be important to understand she may need to pull back a bit at times to have the time to process.As the ADD mind does need time,more so then the normal mind to first feel,then think,then process,that choice.
**** Interesting point that I'm going to have to ponder. I'm the kind of guy who sees 16 steps past where I am now in a conversation (or whatever the situation is); i already know what i'll say, how i'll react, etc because I can literally run all the scenarios through my head in very short order as the conversation/event is taking place. I have to watch myself carefully sometimes, because I'm "that guy" who is always finishing sentences for you because I know what you're going to say! I'm not trying to be rude, just trying to speed up the process. It's boring waiting for someone to say what you already know is coming!

Originally Posted by Alynnstaff
I've actually started therapy of my own today...for my own reasons. I was hesitant because I had a very bad therapist from when my parents sent me to one back when I was an adolescent. I figure this will help me though. I think I found a good one. I would recommend this to you, at_wits_end
**** I have decided to start therapy again (did it a few years ago for depression after my mother killed herself). But that's another story. Basically I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I certainly don't want to explode and do or say something that I would regret because I've lost my composure. Which has almost happened; I just about told her to get her stuff and get out a month or so back. Which is NOT what I really want, I just want to stop being angry, frustrated, and disappointed all the time.

We are also going to try couple's therapy. Hopefully that will help. Thanks everyone for your replies. Beer's on me if you show up in MN!

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