Re: Hearing things wrong/trouble making sense of things
It sounds similar to when people mis-hear lyrics in songs and come up with the funniest ones.
I think I may have this in a sense, as I do often come up with other phrases that what's being said sounds like, but I rarely actually think that's what they are saying. I usually know what was said but at the same time chuckle to myself at what else it sounded like.
Also, sometimes I have some sort of delayed processing thing where somebody will say something I didn't hear or understand, and even as I'm asking "what?" my brain is reprocessing what I heard and realizing what it was, so that by the time they've repeated themselves, I already know what they've said and may even have a quick answer ready.
Trying to avoid being late by showing up really early is like a man trying to avoid peeing on the right side of the toilet seat by aiming at the floor on the far left.