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Old 06-06-17, 06:56 PM
mildadhd mildadhd is offline
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Re: Understanding Counterwill: "Oppositionality cannot arise on its own"

(continued)

Quote:
..Distinguishing will from counterwill is important for any successful parenting.

Understanding counterwill is particularly crucial for the parenting of the AD(H)D child and for the self-understanding of the AD(H)D adult.
Quote:
Children with attention deficit disorder are often characterized as stubborn, oppositional, cheeky, insolent, spoiled.

Willful is a description almost universally applied to them.

Parents worry that the difficulty is rooted in some deeply embedded negative trait in their child's personality that will impede her future success in life.

The truth is more complicated than that, and it leaves more ground for optimism.

Oppositionality cannot arise on its own.

By definition, it has to develop in response to something.

It is not an isolated trait of the child's but an aspect of the child's relationship with the adult world.

Adults can change the relationship by changing their role in it
.

-Gabor Mate, "Scattered". Chapter: "Oppositionality", p 185.



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Last edited by mildadhd; 06-06-17 at 07:07 PM..
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