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Old 11-05-17, 10:34 AM
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Re: Friendships are hard

I feel ya'. I used to be considered the life of the party and was quite the social flutter-by most of my life. Always on the go, always helping and doing for others, and unfortunately, always putting others before myself, just like I'd been trained and conditioned to do.

Did a total script flip in my own life regarding what I consume and surround myself with, as a result of a medical emergency and becoming almost bed ridden and incredibly miserable prior to that, which in turn has warranted me the best health of my life, thus far, and thought for sure others would celebrate my greatly lessening my life-long suffering with me, and would also be eager to learn how to do the same for themselves.

Boy, was I wrong. No longer engaging in all the reindeer games makes for a lonely reindeer existence. But I also learned who was a true friend vs. fair weather...who was truly invested in their own health and that of those around them vs. simply settling for satisfying societal addictions...who really gave a damn about me (and themselves) vs. who just wanted to hang around for the various benefits others can provide, etc.

I eventually learned how valuable that space of perceived loneliness truly was, as I was finally able to get to know myself more thoroughly than I was ever taught by others, both inside and out. Friends/acquaintances can be taken away by circumstance, or choose to walk away, but the knowledge I've gained is priceless, incredibly helpful for enriching the quality of my life, and will remain with me, regardless...unlike most humans.

I've learned that my vibe very much attracts my tribe, and therefore the vibe nor the tribe are meant to remain the exact same as we travel through the various paths we must go down, although there will be a few gems in the rough that will thankfully always remain, no matter what. Precious and few, indeed.

What once brought me great comfort ended up being the worst possible energies to surround myself with. Another f'n growth opportunity, as I like to call it. AFGO! Learning to be our own best friend first makes friendship with others a smoother process.

Without filling our own love cups first, there won't be any excess to spill out and share with others. Not having folks in your life who ever healthily modeled all of that makes the hurdles even harder to jump.

The more we grow, the stranger things go, it seems. Rock on with what you know to be right for you and allow yourself to be entertained by the happenings that occur as a result. You'll find your people. Or they'll find you.
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"You torment yourself wondering how they could not love your burning heart. And the answer darling, you are not the star you thought you were. You are the f******g universe and not everybody is an astronaut." ~Unknown
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