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Old 11-09-17, 11:54 PM
peripatetic peripatetic is offline
 
 
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Re: Do I need to label him?

i'm trying to consider what your therapist could be getting at, but i would start by asking why s/he thinks getting angry would be useful? like...what problem is that solving?

i think you should be intolerant of abuse. but i actually think it speaks well of you that you can separate behaviours from persons and also consider that you don't actually know what resides in his head and what his motives are. it is entirely possible he's sick and lacking insight into his ailments. it's also possible that he's a manipulative ******* who purposefully hurt you.

discriminating between the two is only useful, in my opinion, insofar as it helps you move forward. if you don't feel angry, i don't see what the purpose of building up a feeling toward another person would be. especially since you're not in a relationship with him anymore and it sounds like you don't maintain contact.

now, IS there a pattern where those you date/are in relationships with are emotionally, physically, or otherwise abusive or neglectful or manipulative toward you? *if* so...then i still don't see a reason to label another or find anger. but i do think it's worth considering how to disrupt the pattern if you see a common denominator in your relationships being you taken advantage of/being abused.

how long have you been with this therapist? do you generally trust his/her judgment about other things or has this been the focus of all your sessions thus far?
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