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Old 11-10-17, 02:46 PM
peripatetic peripatetic is offline
 
 
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Re: Do I need to label him?

hmm...i can appreciate that. there are very few things i really hold a grudge over, and only if it arises afresh to rekindle...not so much grudge holding by nature.

and i also get not being able to hold onto anger.

and i get that it's hard to be angry with someone if you know they're unwell and can't determine motive.

i would say, just consider this: there's a difference between manslaughter and murder and it comes down to motive. but failing to recognize someone has been killed isn't the right thing to do either. i mean, it could be accidental and totally unintentional...but there are still penalties for causing such harm.

it's an analogy, and an imperfect one. but you'd feel sadness at the loss, even if unintentional or an accident. maybe that's where your therapist is going...? that even if it's unintentional, you were hurt and that matters because you have value and don't deserve to be hurt even if the other is sick or even unintentionally.

it sounds like "being angry" is somehow equated in her mind with self defense and self worth and self preservation. like...maybe it seems like you value their suffering over your own and aren't holding them accountable ...because even if unintentional, there is accountability, you know?

again...all speculation, but hopefully helpful.

i still think labeling people is only useful if it helps YOU move forward. but i also think that she shouldn't be diagnosing people she's never met...
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