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Old 11-10-17, 03:24 PM
peripatetic peripatetic is offline
 
 
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Re: Do I need to label him?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperP View Post
Its like my brain wants to sort out what part of his actions were due to ADHD and what part was due to Narcissism (if he even is a Narcissist) and maybe if I can figure that out, I can move on better....Maybe get Angry and not feel so stuck
but maybe the sorting is where you're not seeing that what matters most in this scenario is YOU. and whether he hurt you because of this or that...he emotionally neglected you. and that sets you up to doubt yourself. and to feel like you don't matter.

it seems that maybe her thought is for you to focus not on him and try to sort him, but on you and your legitimacy in having feelings... at feeling hurt...at being angry that someone caused that hurt (regardless of motive or diagnosis).

would you be angry if someone hurt a person you loved? emotionally neglected him/her? would you be looking to justify or find rationale behind causing your loved one pain?

in this case...you are the loved one. maybe she wants you to love yourself enough to allow yourself to have feelings without qualification, without feeling like you don't have a right to have them because he's unwell.

do other feelings come more easily to you?
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The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to peripatetic For This Useful Post:
Stevuke79 (11-10-17), SuperP (11-10-17), WhiteOwl (11-10-17)