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Old 12-12-17, 10:17 AM
Caco3girl Caco3girl is offline
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Re: How to raise a confident human? Rules of the playground

Originally Posted by Fuzzy12 View Post
It's possible that I'm overthinking this but I'd rather err on the side of overthinking than underthinking. A lot of crucial development takes place in the first two years. Even if that's just how she is if I can do anything to make her more assertive it's worth a shot.

Like Stef said I'm sure love and reassurance are key but reassurance can be given in different ways. I want fuzzling to know I've got her back. That she's safe with me while also allowing her to learn how to deal with conflict (and not ******* off other people by charging in like A mama bear) If she takes a toy from someone else or hits someone And I say nothing that is reassurance that her behaviour is ok when it isn't.

Eg what would you in this situation: fuzzling and a my friends baby are playing with blocks. Friend's baby decides that all blocks need to go into a box including the one that fuzzling is playing with. Fuzzling takes another block toolay with and fbaby takes it off her again and puts it in the box. Fuzzling then starts eating a baby cracker and fbaby decides the cracker too needs to go into the box and tries to pry it out of first fuzzling's hand and then her mouth. The other baby is much stronger and succeeds.My friend tells her baby to leave fuzzling alone once but then leaves it at thst. So now what do I do? What would you do?
I wouldn't expect a 1.5 year old to understand the phrase "leave her alone". One of the largest struggles in life is to parent or not parent someone elses child. I'm of the opinion that it takes a village to raise a kid and that means I WILL parent someone elses child. If they don't like it, they don't need to hang out with us. Conversely, if my 8 year old is at their house doing something wrong I expect them to parent my child and scold them, put them in a time out, or send them home and call me if it's bad.

For that particular scenario I would let the other mother attempt to parent their child, and when all they did was say leave the other kid alone, I would intervene. I would tell the other kid it's not okay to move Fuzzlings blocks or take her cracker. I would offer the other kid a cracker, if they still tried to take fuzzlings cracker I would physically separate them...this could be with a pillow or other barrier so they were each playing separately until the other child got over their obsession with putting their own things in the box. I'd bring them back together later to see how it went, and would separate them again if need be.

Learning how to REMOVE yourself from a bad situation is also an effective way to deal with conflict. MORE people need to deploy that defense in my opinion.
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The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Caco3girl For This Useful Post:
aeon (12-12-17), Fuzzy12 (12-12-17), Little Missy (12-12-17)