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Old 12-28-17, 06:14 AM
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Re: First time poster seeking comfort/advice/whatever else you can offer

The whole time I was reading your post, it reminded me of friend of mine who has OCD. I am not armchair diagnosing your BF but the things you mentioned about the anxiety and routines and how when they are disrupted he has a hard time just reminded me. I am not saying adhd isnt possible because there are so many comorbid diagnosis's that go along with adhd. More like ,if I had to pick which thing could affect him more,then my vote is for OCD. OCD is usually rooted in extreme anxiety. WHere certain routines- and they dont have to be the kind of routines you would see in a goofy movie about OCD-help him cope and any deviations can cause a meltdown. You are a very awesome woman to be so willing to understand him. I dont know how well he would react to you bringing either of these things up. It could go either way. He could end up being really willing to get help, or defensive and dig his heels in more.

The thing is, if he isnt willing to get help, can you live with that? If he never changes can you have a life with him? Do you have plans to live together? We can share all the info we want with our loved ones, but they are responsible for their own treatment. He may take it personal and do what you say he does; shaming himself and dropping off the planet. Or he could be interested and relieved. I just think you have to be prepared for him to not want to change. These coping mechanisms have held him together and its very scary to think about changing them even if he is miserable.
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