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Old 01-02-18, 09:47 AM
Caco3girl Caco3girl is offline
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Re: How to raise a confident human? Rules of the playground

Originally Posted by Fuzzy12 View Post
Thanks caco. These are great ideas.

I'm really struggling with dealing with other kids...or rather my own need to be liked and appear "nice" mainly to their parents' or my friends and acquaintances or sometimes total strangers.

I'm reading a book called "it's ok not to share..." Which issllsbout allowing kids uninterrupted free play and allowing them to learn how to voice their needs and resolve conflicts (eg " I'm not done yet with this toy. I will bring it to you when I'm done"). It makes a lot of sense but she says parents absolutely should intervene and stand up for their child.

I tried this but it didn't go so well. I told the kid he didn't have to share and didn't allowfuzzling to take away his toy but later or kept trying to take everything fuzzkibg was playing with. He would grab her toy and then point and laugh at her. I tried to return the toys to fuzzling's DTI nicely ask him to wait till fuzzling is done but he just ignored me. He was just two though so husr talking to him nicelymight not help. I don't want to physically remove another child or prise a toy out of their hand.i felt pretty embarrassed anyway. I tried to explain to his parents what I'm going and why but I couldn't get a coherent sentence out and they weren't really interested anyway
Fuzzy, not all people/parents/kids need to be hung out with. I have a 15 year old and an 8 year old and on more than one occasion over the years I have said "You aren't allowed to hang out with XXX anymore". Some of the reasons have been:
1. His parents allow cursing, I don't want you around that.
2. His parents allow roaming the streets half the night, not okay for you.
3. She doesn't respect adults, if she talked to me that way she talks to her parents that way and that's not a personality I want you around.
4. They skip school, that's not the people you need to be with.
5. You just met that girl and she is FULL of drama, it's not YOUR job to fix her, you have enough teenage drama of your own, she will drag you down.

Those are some of the highlights, and some of them may seem harsh to others, but bottom line, the people whom my kids hang around are the people they will try to be like. If I can spot a person that doesn't bring anything good into their lives, and drastically sucks resources and energy from them I try to put a stop to it. Other people should enrich your life, not be a drain on you. That's a good lesson for adults and children.
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The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Caco3girl For This Useful Post:
aeon (01-02-18), Fuzzy12 (01-02-18), stef (01-02-18)