View Single Post
  #12  
Old 02-09-18, 12:30 PM
ToneTone ToneTone is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Philadelphia, pa
Posts: 1,916
Thanks: 1,800
Thanked 2,401 Times in 1,128 Posts
ToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my horrible addiction to smoking

Sarah,

Your worry that quitting smoking will lead to drinking is totally reasonable.

When I was in recovery about a decade ago, I stopped one addiction and of course, began to gain weight. I even talked to one of the elder, wisemen-sponsors who said to me ... don't worry about the weight gain for now. Stop your primary addiction that is immediately destroying your life, he said.

One of my favorite addiction writers, Laurel Mellin, got her start in addiction by first treating people for obesity and over-eating. She could get people to lose weight and then they would start drinking more ... or smoking more ...

So bottom line: your thinking and worry about drinking if you quit smoking is totally sound and legit. So if and when you decide to quit smoking, make sure to surround yourself with tons of support. Go slowly and safely ... Don't just jump off the cliff cold-turkey ... Maybe go to extra meetings if meetings are good for you ... work with a therapist ... have some accountability built in ... Also talk to a good doctor or psychiatrist. A coworker of mine who wanted to quit ... went on one of the new anti-smoking drugs and hated it ... I'm not sure what happened, but a year later, she went back on the drug ... and this time loved it! ... and quit smoking ... I think the first time she had a drug interaction that created bad side effects ... Not sure, but she said the medication really worked the second time.

Or consider ... the easier way of using the nicotine patch and gum and lozenges ... Not trying to sell you on this ... but I get all the good benefits of nicotine--and nicotine undoubtedly has its positive effects on concentration--without the cancer risks. It does not feel like I'm sacrificing!

On the money issue, sounds like you are really on top of the details of your family's situation ... I can share my honest impression that the students who have to work ... do have some struggles ... but they just get to a maturity level that is much higher than kids who don't have to work through college.

So really I wouldn't get tripped up with guilt over money on cigarettes. You are sober, and that is priority #1 and priority #2 through #10. And for now the cigarettes are part of your coping ... that's OK ... You mentioned five years of sobriety. That's wonderful and that's still pretty early. You can aim to add this new change ... But be gentle ... you're not super-human. And your sobriety is its own gift to your children--a gift in the present and a gift in the future of someone making a huge positive change in their lives.

The wise 12-step man who counseled me on overeating as I was getting sober used to have this wonderful phrase that has taken on more meaning as time goes on. Recovery is not magical, and nobody has a perfect recovery.

Tone

Last edited by ToneTone; 02-09-18 at 12:45 PM.. Reason: shortening and tightening
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ToneTone For This Useful Post:
sarahsweets (02-09-18), stef (02-09-18)