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Old 02-27-18, 04:26 AM
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Re: No Longer Have any Interests - Just Sleepwalking Through Life

I get what you are saying there, Chris87

Probably it feels like all the energy you could bring up or gained from your old interests has evaporated. These activities don't seem to be rewarding anymore. They instead cost you energy and somehow you feel even guilty and judge yourself for not being able to enjoy things and get ahead in life.

What used to fuel me in life was my job, which is basically a "best of" of all my interests. In a way i should be thankfull i have such a job, on the other hand - and this the catch - the way we motivate ourselves often has certain qualities in common with an addiction.

We live too fast and burn out fast that way. And with focussing on external stimuli so much to feel good, we tend to run the risk we forget about our inner world and run into a depression sooner or later. In that way ADD can have parallels with bipolar disorder, where intense periods often strand in depression or burnout.

I don't know if that all resonates with you?

Do you know why you get drawn to home DIY work? Could it be that this is something that does not require social connection, and something you can totally control. Or is home DIY work a way to work on yourself, to improve yourself, without really focusing on yourself?

Finally i notice a lot of negativity towards yourself. What came first? Did you first loose your interests, or did you first start to become negative towards yourself? I wondered about this myself, with all the damage add can do to our lives, we sometimes blame ourselves and our personality so much that we become our very own torturer.

Because willpower sometimes can suppress or override our symptoms, we have the illusion that if only we were strong enough and tried harder we would not be that "defect". While in fact just trying harder eventually exhausts our willpower and enjoyment of life and makes things worse.

Eventually we end up in a toxic relationship with ourselves till we are able to see ADD loose from our personality, and stop judging ourselves for it.
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