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Old 03-06-18, 12:03 PM
paper_flowers paper_flowers is offline
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New here! Law student with ADHD

Hi there! My name is Jane and I'm a 28 year old female from Florida. I was diagnosed with ADHD this past summer, and let me tell you, everything makes sense now that I have an official diagnosis.

I was in an out of therapy and psychiatrists office for the last ten years. I went through a bad state when I was 19-20, had several diagnoses and tried lots of different medications. I think I was overmedicated at one point, and one day I woke up and everything just "clicked." I have had mild, intermittent episodes of depression since, but nothing major that required treatment. I finished college at 24 with a degree in literature and a 2.5 GPA. I was just never really into school, had no direction or passion for anything. I would blow off homework, or I'd do it but forget to hand it in. I'd just do the term paper the night before, turn it in and get an A, thus yielding a C in the course. After graduating, I landed a job in outside sales. That was a complete roller coaster! I was great with people and clients, but I was painfully shy with knocking on doors and acquiring new business. In my support role, I had a hard time with paperwork and making sure everything was filled out and done correctly, answering internal emails. The person I supported had ADHD and abused his meds, so I think he contributed to my inability to execute.

I had three jobs in three years and was miserable in each one of them. I'll spare you the details that led me to law, but here I am in my second semester of law school. Before school started, I was talking to my mom about preparing for school, and we somehow got on the topic of just checking out my mental health and making sure I'm ready. She said my dad was looking at a possible ADHD diagnosis because he gets very hyperfocused. I am the polar opposite and am very low energy, difficult to motivate and keep on task. She told me to make an appointment. Years ago, I had taken a computer exercise test for ADD, and tested negative. I went to the appointment, and after many questions and my dad's history taken into account, he said I was ADHD-PI, and we started Vyvanse. I loved it at first. It was like the pool of molasses had dissipated and I could get to work right away on things. It's been a different story as of recent, but I'll post that in either the meds forum or the student one. I'm feeling stimulated but still struggling with focus and concentration.

I can't help but wonder what would've happened if I had been diagnosed sooner in life. Maybe my performance in undergrad would've been different, and I would've made better grades and gotten accepted to a higher-ranked law school. Maybe I would have a cleaner credit report because I wouldn't forget to pay my bills. Maybe I would've made better grades last semester rather than a bunch of C's. That's the part that kills me. I worked 10x harder than most of the people in my class. I was firing on all cylinders last semester and loved school for the first time ever. To see that I was median at best in most of my classes was a crushing defeat. I know meds don't necessarily turn you into a straight A student and I have years of habits I need to break, but I was expecting more of myself considering the amount of effort I put forth. I never pushed myself so hard.

I am hoping to just find some support in this forum. I don't talk about my ADHD with very many people, and especially don't want people or classmates knowing I take a stimulant. I don't have anyone I'm close to who also suffers with it and is on meds and knows the struggle. I found a therapist through the school who also works with ADHD, but when my free sessions run out it's going to be $100/hr as she doesn't accept insurance, but she's wonderful and worth every penny if I could afford it.

I'm so glad I found this forum! I look forward to chatting and learning from you all.
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