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Old 03-08-18, 05:34 PM
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Re: How to handle a member I don't like in a therapy group?

Quote:
Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post
Long story short...I'm part of an intense group that meets 3 times a week for 2 hour sessions. It only started a couple of months ago, but already there's been a "core" built. The members that show up everyday...and we've bonded quite well already and things have been going great.

But then we got a new guy on monday. And I just don't like him. I can go on and on about it...but he's just a very angry, loud, rude, scrappy guy.
My intuition is screaming loud and clear not to put any trust in him.
Plus he keeps patting me on the back like we're buddies or something...but I can't stand being touched...especially by men I don't like.

I'm not sure what to do? I don't want to bring it up in group in front of him...because once it's said, it can't be unsaid, and it'll just make the 2 of us REAL uncomfortable in the group from that point on.
Plus I'm having a real hard time determining if any of the other members are feeling the same way about it.

But I've just been sitting there in group this week...bored...quiet...and angry. There's all this tension, and this guy keeps blurting things out and he so often acts like he knows what he's talking about...when the words he speaks are way off. Or he keeps loudly giving examples of things he's been through...that have NOTHING to do with the topic we're talking about, and it's just like...wtf dude? Stop wasting our time man.

Maybe he'll stop coming on his own after another week or 2? Maybe not.
Maybe I'm way off about him and will grow to trust him/like him in the future?
Something's gotta happen though. I'm not sure I can remain committed to this group if something doesn't change.

I'm just mainly typing this all out to vent.

Any opinions though? Should I confront him about this? I'm not physically afraid of him or anything.
Should I go behind his back and ask the other members what they think of him? Should I be honest with them and let them know I don't like him a bit?
I think I'll talk to one of the people who run the group and see what they have to say.

...
haha, and I was going to keep this post short.
Well...so much for that idea!

I'm sorry. I don't enjoy being around people like that in any situation, much
less a sensitive one like group therapy.

You have the right to not be touched. Or to be asked before being touched.

I think that's where I'd start in talking to the group facilitator about this.
I'd bet there are others who are not comfortable with unexpected touching,
even back-patting. (especially when it feels fake)

I would also ask if the facilitator can do something to keep the discussions on
topic, as he seems to be trying to monopolize the discussion and one-up the
other speakers.

Psycho-
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